nonprofitprophet

Please take the MAS out of Christmas

2011-12-21T13:45:00.004-06:00

It is this time of year when I start seeing the slogan "Don't take CHRIST out of Christmas" and "It's not XMAS its CHRISTmas" on social media sites, bumper stickers, signs in yards and other places.
There is also a fight in my area over a nativity scene that is on display on the lawn of a court house, placed there by a nonprofit group and not the government, and some anti-religious organization from a state way up north wants it removed and is threatening legal action. The people of this small community are upset about it as it is attacking their fundamental belief system, years of tradition, and quiet frankly its Yankees sticking their nose in something that doesn't concern them.
We in the South really don't get Yankee thought processes (we actually question if they exist) and I guess Yankees don't get us either. I am constantly amazed with folks who fight so hard against something they don't believe in. A little twisted if you ask me. I don't believe in the Easter Bunny but I really don't care if you do. I'm not going to protest your easter egg hunt.
Their leader was quoted as saying all the normal propaganda about church/state endorsement blah blah blah. I wish these folks would do a little historical fact finding before running with the KoolAide mantra. If someone would take the historical background of what and why the 1st Amend was written, as people should take the historical and cultural climate into consideration when reading the Bible, they would understand this a little better and maybe chill out. Probably not going to happen. What do folks think we are celebrating with the Christmas holidays anyway? It IS a religious holiday. I bet they take the day off for it. It is historically the celebration of the birth of the Christ Child (yes, the church co-opted a pagan holidaybut still), so if that is the case whats the harm of displaying a scene depicting the misrepresented birth nativity story?
I wonder if these folks exchange gifts with people during the holidays. So far it is still known as christmas presents and not yet politically correct terminology of "holiday gifts". Do they know by doing this they are recreating the story of the gifts brought to the christ child?
So I'm starting another movement. Lets take the MAS out of Christmas. The MAS is all that hoopla that goes with the holiday. The tremendous amounts of commercialism. The steady stream of sales papers, tv ads, and newspaper inserts that inundate us with STUFF we MUST have and THINGS they will LOVE. Materialism. Consumerism. An industry based upon a simple story of gift presentations to the Christ Child in the new testament. Lets do away with the buying something for uncle Ralph because we have to. Lets not convince our kids that Christmas is all about THEM and give them the latest gadget that they do not need. Lets do away with the materialism that causes so much sadness for the have nots when flaunted in front of them by the haves. Lets do away with the ridiculously priced items that really says how much you love someone (insert a big diamond ring or the latest Xbox or whatever) when we have people who are wondering how they are going to feed their children, much less give them gifts.
Yes. Lets take the MAS out of Christmas. Lets just have the CHRIST.
Lets see what He would think about all of this ChistMAS stuff.
Oh....who am I kidding. ~npp

GET IN THERE MAVERICK!

2011-09-27T09:03:00.010-05:00

One of my favorite movies from my impressionable teenage years was TOP GUN with Tom Cruise, Meg Ryan and other notable actors. Reflective of the times we lived in the movie centers around a Navy fighter pilot Maverick (Tom Cruise) who struggles with ghosts from his past and feels he has many things to prove. He is good and pushes the envelope in his flying to tempt the fates and thumb his nose at danger. He feels immortal, invincible, and on more than one occassion places himself and others in danger because he feels he can come out on Top. Cheat Death.
He cannot. In the blink of an eye, a routine fighter plane move exercise move turns deadly and he looses his best friend "Goose" after having to eject from the F14.
Mavericks world just turned on him and he is left with a sense of deep sorrow and guilt, second guessing himself and his whole apprach to flying.

And it cripples him.

Life is like that scene for many of us. As I reflect on my early childhood years, it seems as if I was a spectator in this thing called life, secure in my own little bubble and watching the world move around me in its busyness and routine. I did not have to concern myself with the cares of the day as I had parents who did that for me. I was simply allowed to exist. Of course as we grow older we start taking a more active part in life and all the responsibilities that come along with that. We learn a few things in school, apply them in a job, start relationships and have families, finance mortgages and auto loans, get involved with civic functions or church or politics or all of the above, and before we know it we are fully involved in life. Not sure how that all happened but we are in no longer merely observing it hapenning around us, but are fully involved in the dog fight.

and to be fully involved means taking risks. and like Maverick sometimes those risks are very costly to us and knocks us down for a while. We know longer carry that fighter pilot swagger we once had, and approach life a little more cautiously, a little less vulnerable to lessen the inevitable pain we will more than likely feel again at some point. To soften the blows of a hardened world that, with one mistake in a routine exercise in your day, is waiting to deal you a blow that'll take your wings and keep you grounded.

A later scene has Maverick with a new copilot and they are ordered to the Mediteranian Sea to help other American pilots who are engaged with enemy pilots in a dogfight. As they launch from the aircraft carrier and proceed to the dogfight Maverick is aware of the ghosts that haunt him. He is rehearsing life in his head. As they approach the dogfight from a distance they can see the mayhem and manuevering of all of the engaged aircraft and Maverick decides to not engage. He sees the ugliness and decides not to risk it, leaving his comrades in peril and certain death as they are outnumbered. Mavericks copilot starts yelling over the intercom "GET IN THERE MAVERICK" over and over and finally Maverick decides that its worth the risk and enters the fight, and of course comes out on top.

Often we've been attacked and hurt and wounded so deeply that we would prefer to "set this one out" or not engage. Its too risky. We prefer to watch from the sidelines. We may even gear up but set on the bench the whole time. Our fear of whatever is debilitating.

My encouragement for you today if you find yourself in this place is to slowly re-engage. Life is meant to be lived, not observed. Yes doing so may make you open to more risks in life, you may find yourself in a few scary situations, you may feel vulnerable... But you may also feel ALIVE, LOVED, and maybe, just maybe, will get a little of that swagger back in your walk.

GET IN THERE MAVERICK! (or whatever cool pilot name you have for yourself)
~npp

The Day I Shook the Gates of Heaven

2011-06-04T09:28:00.003-05:00

I can still remember the darkness of the place overall with its woodgrain paneling and illuminated beer signs that doubled as a clock or a Marlboro adverstisement. The smell of cheap aftershaves like AquaVelva and Old Spice and Black Leather intermingled with the cigarette smoke and bar drinks. For a quarter, an old jukebox would spin three of your favorite Loretta Lynn, Waylon Jennings or Red Sovine songs that were on the top of the charts in the early 1970s. There was a pool table centered in the small open area of the local VFW hall where I spent many of my childhood days hanging out with my father, who was a member and local commander of the place.
If you are not familiar with VFW halls, they are where Veterans of Foreign Wars came to hang out after serving their country in a designated war zone. These were guys and gals who had seen some bad stuff, participated in it, and was the recepient of all that war had to offer them in return. Some were disable, some were now alcoholics, others just came back to their little towns changed in some form or fashion, and came to the VFW hall to hang out with others who had similar experiences.
And as with any place you have lots of folks, you inevitable get the jerks, egoists and outright assholes of society mystically blended. Including church, work, school, whatever your social gathering is, you know what I mean. One of my favorite old Far Side comics strips showed God as a chef (apron and hat complete) with the world in his left had (as if he had just created it) and with his right hand holding a salt shaker over it in a sprinkling fashion (the salt shaker said JERKS) and the caption read "and just too make it interesting...".
I was probably around 8 years old, hanging out in this environment with my father. I never did feel comfortable there. Ever. It felt strangely at odds with most everything I felt inside. A stark contrast from the beautiful church with stained glass windows, tall white columns, beautiful portraits of scenes from Jesus' life and parables that we attended on sundays and cleaned during the week for extra money. I always felt comfortable, and in some respects, in the presence of the Almighty there. Where one place blared old country music and laughter and coarse language the other provided reflection and quiet and wisdom.
One evening my father came home from the VFW hall extremely angry, I guess fighting mad would be the word. Some drunk had gotten in his face at the VFW and basically challenged his manhood or something (which was a common scenario there...i learned at an early age to instantly drop and get under the pool table when a fight would break out). My dad came home telling this to my mom who was trying to calm him down, and the more he talked the madder he got. I then heard these words from my Dad "I'm going back there to settle this" and he walked out of the front door with my mom pleading with him not too.
and I ran.
I ran as fast as my little legs would carry me.
Ran to the back bedroom. to the small bathroom and shut the door and fell to my knees in front of the porcelain toilet and prayed like I had never prayed before. Little boy hands clasped together tightly and eyes shut so hard they hurt. I felt it. I felt myself praying so hard that I shook the gates of heavan. If God cannot hear the pleading prayers of a scared eight year old, then something in the heavens is wrong.
and then I heard something. It sounded like my mom opening the front door a minute or so later. It was my dad. he was coming back in. He told mom that as he was getting in his car something told him to stop and go back in the house. And he was no longer really mad about it. Still angry about the asshole who treated him that way, but not mad enough to go shrink to that fellows level.
and I was amazed.
I knew then, as I do know, that God actually heard and honored my prayer. Some may call it coincidence or chalk it up to being an eight year old who also believed in Santa Clause at the time, but I know within me that it was God. There have only been two or three times in my life I have had the experience where I was honestly begging god with everything i had thru prayer for something and I knew without a doubt He heard me and answered.
It is truly amazing to experience that. Too literally shake the gates of heaven and feel the response of the Almighty is humbling. Of course I still pray about this or that and it seems rather routine, and I'm not really sure my expectations are that each one will receive the same fanfare as my earlier experiences. And I'm not sure they should.
But sometime, somewhere and some point in your life, you will find yourself running as fast as you can to that safe little place where you will poor your heart and soul out to the living God, begging and pleading. Here's hoping that you Shake The Gates of Heaven. ~npp

so what would you be doing

2011-05-20T15:56:00.005-05:00

A headline in today's newspaper simply asked "If you knew the world was ending tomorrow, what would you do?". Supposedly another apocalyptic group thinks the world will end tomorrow, which if true will play havoc with my romantic intentions for the weekend, not too mention my retirement plans.
I really have no idea how these folks come up with this stuff. End of the World. Doomsday. Armageddon. The Rapture. Judgement Day. whatever. I guess it makes good headlines and gives people something to think about. Their mortality.
Sure, the possibility exists that it could all come to a halt tomorrow, and with my luck I'll probably be standing is some check out line that has the little flashing light on waiting for a supervisor... well you know what I mean. Or it could happen before I finish this senten.... (LOL)
You just never know. And know one else does either. Since the days of Jesus somebody has been thinking the end of the world is near. The disciples thought they would see it before they passed away. Didn't happen. People thought that the Civil War, The Great Depression, WWI and II and Hitler and whatever else was the end of the world. Nope, still here folks.
and its doubtful it will all come to a halt tomorrow either. so if your mortgage payment is due Monday, I would suggest mailing it off today.
So back to the headline. What would you be doing if this were the last day? My hope is that if you are a christian, that you would be doing whatever it is that you are doing at this exact moment. Or any moment. Every moment.
Loving others. Being a plus positive in this world. Making a difference. I hope that your answer is nothing out of the ordinary because it was ordinary people that Jesus asked to follow him. Nothing special was required.
Its like the parable of the 10 virgins and the lamps, we should always live as if the return of Jesus was imminent. Not in fear, but in anticipation. And not idly or passively awaiting either, but in serving. In being in relationship with one another.
I don't know if it will happen today or tomorrow or my lifetime or a thousand years or a million years from now, and frankly I don't care one way or another.
Jesus said only the father knows the day and time, so who am I to worry about it.
So what would I be doing? Exactly this.
Enjoy. ~npp

just what are you advertising?

2011-05-13T16:21:00.006-05:00

The New York Yankees. Arguably one of the best teams in Major League Baseball of all times. 27 World Series Championships to date. The best talent money can buy. And I can't stand them. They are like the Pittsburg Steelers, Washington Redskins or Phil Eagles versus my Dallas Cowboys of the 1970s and 1980s. So any team that is playing against the Yankees I am for. Okay, maybe not so much "for them" as against the Yankees.
Anyway, I got tickets to the Texas Rangers v. NY Yankees game this past Saturday night in Arlington Texas. The Ballpark in Arlington it is called. Very original I know. But its a beautiful ballpark. It was a lovely day in Texas with the temps in the upper 70s and a nice breeze. And we beat the Yankees. Icing on the cake. Lubberly. I was setting 33 rows behind the Yankee dugout amongst a horde of obnoxious Yankees fans, so it was tremendously satisfying to watch Feliz, the closing pitcher, shut them down in the 9th inning.
So its 10:15pm on a Saturday and we exit the ballpark with, and I'm serious, 49,500 plus other people. Yep, that's a lot. But its fine. We go to our parking lot, find the vehicle and begin the long trek out of the parking lot.
Now the parking lot has ONE exit to a ONE WAY street with another street that is feeding into it and cars coming from all directions in the parking lot. As each car would approach the exit they would allow the car from the other direction to pull ahead of them. Taking turns so too speak. Very Polite. Slow. But polite.
So I make it to the street 15 minutes after getting in my vehicle and began to merge with the oncoming vehicles. Each person in the lane of traffic was letting the parking lot cars move in front, one car would allow another to get in front of them, then the next car would do the same, and so on.
Except...
When it came my turn to merge the next vehicle in line, a minivan, didn't share. I put my little blinker indicator on and they surged forward and closed the gap between themselves and the car in front of them (that had allowed the car in front of me to merge). I said nice. So I sat there until they moved forward at a snail's pace and the vehicle behind them let me merge in the lane. Whatever.
Then it caught my eye. That little piece of chrome attached to the back of the minivan that refused to allow me to merge. The shiny piece of chrome that we all know and love. Yes. The Christian Fish symbol.
I looked around at the other vehicles and no one else seemed to be advertising the fact that they were a christian. Nope, not a cross or fish or anything that I could see. Except all the other vehicles were allowing others the courtesy to merge in front of them. Kind of a do unto others concept. Kind of acting like Christians. Maybe kind of doing what Jesus would ask us to do.
I found it ironic. The one person who advertised themselves as a christian was the only one who wasn't acting like one.
Now I'm as bad as anyone else. Not expecting perfection by no means. But really, what are you trying to advertise with those little christian symbols on the back of your vehicle? Or on your lapel? Or your jewelry?
I think it makes us feel good to advertise our faith. Its much easier for sure. Anyone can glue a symbol on a car or put a piece of jewelry on or wear a catchy t-shirt with a clever christian saying on it.
I would suggest this. Advertise your faith by living it. If you don't intend to do that then please, for the love of God (pun intended) take that fish symbol off of your car. Take off that t-shirt and put the James Avery cross jewelry back in the box. Your giving us a bad name.
Everyone else was living out the philosophy of Christ except the one advertising it.
In the words of St. Francis of Assisi "preach the gospel at all times. use words only when necessary".
Amen. ~npp

there is a season for everything

2011-05-05T20:50:00.004-05:00

I have been a relationship guy my whole life. I never really knew that growing up and only in the past few years have I figured it out. If you have ever met me, even once, and we even slightly got along, then you know me for life. I have made contact with another soul on the planet. Relationships are everything to me. Never been much on status. Never really motivated by money (although in my adult years I am beginning to see the importance of having a litte bit of it). Nope, I have always been about relationships.
Sometimes to my detriment. Even unhealthy. Can't let go. Failed to consider others had hidden agendas. Its a tough lesson we all learn I think.
I have really enjoyed Facebook. Keeping up with others and finding friends from my past. Strange how we seem to get along better now than we did years ago. Matured some maybe. Lots more people talking about God these days.
Priorities. Seasons. Life.
I am now to the age where I can compare things to the way they used to be. I am amazed at what things cost now compared to when I was younger. My kids think nothing of spending whatever amount on a soft drink or combo meal because that is what it has always been to them. They don't remember 10 cent cokes or nickle candy bars or 1 cent double bubble chewing gum.
I am becoming my father. And his father before him. I am seeing things through different lenses. I no longer think I am the center of the universe. I am beginning to see and feel my mortality. I know its just a matter of time before I will no longer exist in this earthly realm. And I don't necessarily think that is something to get down in the dumps about.
I think it is a season I am in. As necessary to spring time is the winter, I think it is necessary we reach the season when we aren't in budding but in full bloom, soaking it all in. Maturing. Reaching the heights we were intended to reach. Spreading our branches so that others may find comfort in our shade. To have enough growth and survived enough weathering that we are stronger when the storms blow, but not so much that we cannot bend and sway abit and dance along with the winds. To develop lasting and meaningful relationships that will sustain us in the years to come.
Facebook is good at helping us keep in touch. It exposes us to other cultures, thoughts, politics, thoughts, humor, life events, and sometimes a little more than we would like to know. I think all of this helps us grow to be more tolerant or at least more accepting.
I cannot imagine life without internet. Facebook. Cell phones. Though I lived half of my life without it. Some of you can remember your first microwave. This season of life is really cool. I am so curious as to what the next will bring.
What an awesome ride. ~npp

HELL. Does it matter?

2011-03-17T10:52:00.003-05:00

Following up on the Rob Bell issue of earlier this week where he brought forth to the public forum an issue many have been contemplating for years but haven't been brave enough (or stupid enough depending on how you look at it) to say aloud.

Hell may not be a literal place.

I know it goes against "tradition beliefs" and years of church tradition and teachings (insert Galileo here from my previous post) but there is the possibility that there is no literal place as Hell. As with many things in the bible, the words and stories and parables and understandings that were common to that time were used (again see previous post). We can point to references in the bible (extremely few in the Old Testament) and somewhat more in the New Testament that elude to the underworld or Hades or Hell or the Valley of Hinnom (Gehenna) or the grave. While some consider it a literal place of torment, others still feel that it is a separation from God. Death itself. Not judgemental damnation for being a bad person nor a reward system (heaven) for being a good person. Just a state of being after a worldly existence.

Even with all of that (and that is barely touching the surface) the question I ask is "Does it really matter?", this concept of hell? I know to some it really does. I had a southern baptist pastor tell me that he uses this "fear of hell" to convert people to Christ and finds it legit. Many are serious about "saving others" from this eternal torment and getting the name Jesus out there. A lot of twisted doctrine is based upon this line of thinking and "the Great Commission" as certain faith systems have defined it.

I think fortunately for me I grew up in a faith system that used another tactic. One that showed a merciful, loving and gracious God. These traits and stories of the bible that reflected that image of God was much more prevalent in my early years (and still today overall) than the Fire And Brimstone God that many others were introduced too. And that difference led to another approach to Christianity for me, or in another way of putting it, a different motivation.

For me, Hell does not matter one way or another. Whether literally a place of torment and excruciating pain for eternity or just death and separation from God.

I am not motivated by Fear. I am motivated by Love.

I seek relationship with the Father in my feeble ways and try to practice the teachings of His Son. I am compelled by a God who loves me and all of His children to be the person I am. I am not compelled to be a good Christian because I fear being thrown into a really hot place for eternity. Many see Salvation as an insurance policy against the fires of "hell". I see "salvation" as having the opportunity to live in relationship with God and one another here in the present world and the one too come.

Do does Hell exist? Who cares. ~npp

Defending The Truth even if its Wrong

2011-03-15T08:40:00.004-05:00

Rob Bell. It was reported on Good Morning America that Rob Bell, megapastor of Mars Hill Bible Church, asserts that "there is No HELL!". Yes, Rob Bell from Bible Church. This is bound to get things heated up.

In his book "Love Wins" Bell asserts that there are many things in the Jesus story that turns people off, and we don't talk about them, like the concept of Hell and Heaven. Here is an excerpt: "Some communities don't permit open, honest inquiry about the things that matter most. Lots of people have voiced a concern, expressed a doubt, or raised a question, only to be told by their family, church, friends, or tribe: "We don't discuss those things here."

Galileo had similar problems with the Catholic church some few hundred years ago when he blasphemously asserted heresy that it appeared the Earth was not flat (simplified). How dare he question the teachings clearly illustrated in the bible that "heaven is above and hell is below and the world was created and set firmly on a pedastal". (Old Testament paraphrased). The view of the world then was based upon the biblical assertion that it was a three teird universe. Heaven above (the sky), the world (where people lived) and hell was underground (Under the world they lived in). 3 Layers. And it was set upon a pedestal. Now that seems a little strange to us today as we grew up understanding a round earth that rotated around the sun and we have a few scientific details to back that up, say like PICTURES! In Galileo's day, that was not the world view. The Bible said this or that, and that settled it.

But does it?

For many, these questions need answers. Or put another way, maybe not answers but at least need to be asked and honestly addressed. And though these issues are not fundamental to the faith that Christians share, they are stumbling blocks (throwing a little Paulianism in here) for many that they can't get over and hence blocks there pathway to Christ.

So why do we go to great lengths to defend the truth even its wrong? Or if not wrong at least not clear? I assume there are many reasons. If you have things totally figured out, then questioning those things will mess up your tidy little doctrinal world. If you find that there are things your faith denomination told you all these years that just don't hold up under scrutiny any longer, does that spead so much doubt for you that you throw the baby out with the bathwater? I think some believe it will.

I love to ask questions. I love to engage others who share this same fascination and who try to become closer to God by understanding. And by honestly talking about these stuff I come to a better understanding. However, there are some people I just can't talk to. Okay, maybe I mean they can't honestly talk with me. Or you. They are too busy defending there tribe's knowledge. I have tried several times over and over to engage in dialogue with these, for lack of a better word, evangelicals (its predominate in a certain denomination in the Southern United States), and have been met with contempt and hostility. The conversation on my part begins with a question that I would like to hear their point of view on, hence a discussion, and quickly turns into a defensive diatribe on their end or an absolute that "cannot be questioned" because it is in the bible. Enter Galilieo. Enter Rob Bell. Enter hundreds of thousands of us, believers and non-believers alike.

Example: This week at the morning coffee b.s. session the abortion issue comes up. Now I will not go into what I think or do not think about that issue here, it was just the topic. And the fellow says how the world is messed up because some kid is getting felony charges for killing a hampster while the world condones the murder of babies through abortion. So I ask the group, what about God in the Old Testament ordering and condoning the killing of whole groups of people, including women, children and pregnant women whose bellies are spilt out on the ground. Yes, I'm an instigator. And without skipping a beat the answer I got from the two Baptists in the circle was "Because God is Sovereign". Oh, okay. Thats a great reason. Thanks for clearing that up for me. I was so confused prior to that.

Idiots. Of course God is Sovereign. But what I wanted was an answer or at least some honest dialogue. Because that Sovereign God seems to be conflicting with the God I understand in the New Testament. The God who says love your enemies. Turn the other check. Or that the eye for an eye thing is no longer a good thing. They get defensive. I am asking questions their belief system can't handle and, as Rob Bell said, "we don't talk about that stuff in this tribe". Its messy.

But no. Christianity for many "professing Christians" has been reduced to a formula that goes something like this:
Adam&Eve = Fall/Sin. Prophets foretell coming Messiah = Jesus. Jesus saves us from Fall/Sin by sacrifice. Accept Jesus in your heart, say a little prayer, and Abracadabra you are in the club. Saved. No flames for you my friend. You followed the process to enternal bliss.

Did you notice anything missing here? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? Bingo. yes. The Teachings of Jesus. That messy little section of the bible that seems to get overlooked in the formula. The teachings that messed up the whole world and the view of the religious teachings of the day. Turned the world right side up. "I know you have been told...., but I tell you this....".

Yet we still defend the truth as we believe it, even if if we are wrong. And that's too bad. We can't have the conversation because maybe our world would become a little more rounded in the process, and others could join us.

I know. Heresy. ~npp

The Living God

2011-03-03T20:42:00.002-06:00

I finally, after all these years, finally get that phrase. I have heard it all my life "The Living God" and absolutely had no idea what the preacher man was talking about. Or maybe I just didn't understand why he was using such jargon. The Living God. Like much of religious jargon it just doesn't resonate with me. "washed in the blood", "salvation", "all about the blood", etc. In my wesleyan view of God growing up, the view of God i received was usually about a loving god who was merciful and gracious and, well, fatherly. I had a good family life and that relationship was a healthy one for me so I identified well. however i understand many do not.
so i'm reading the old testament and i finally get it. the living god as opposed to all the fake, unreal gods that were made from a piece of wood or stone or iron or whatever. I always assumed that the other gods were considered real and that the statues or figures were representative. But it appears in the Old Testament that they would carve these things out of wood and actually pray to the object. The God of Abraham was The Living God, not of form, but a real God that could not be shaped or formed by a skilled craftsman. A really unique concept for the day. The irony is now how we today try to shape and form God for our own sense of who He is.
The conservative God. The liberal God. the vengeful jealous God. the merciful God. the all loving God. Our God. The God of the jews. The God of the Gentiles. The God of the Christians. The God of the New Covenant.
The only God. The Abrahamic God. The God of Jacob and Ishmael.
And I wonder about the Genesis story. Adam and Eve. Cain and Abel. Where did the wives come from. How did they propagate? Incest? Other people? If other people how did they get there?
Old testament tells of the Persians being very friendly toward the Jewish people. Totally opposite the stories of the Egyptians. What happened? Why were they so friendly and knowledgeable about the God of the Israelites? Did God talk to them as well? Could it be that God operates independant of the ways we think He sould operate? Does our doctrines and belief systems allow that The Living God can do as he pleases? Is our relationship with the Living God exclusive to the point that He cannot have a relationship with other people's in a fashion He so chooses?
Have we made for ourselves a graven image that we pray too that doesn't exactly represent the Living God?
Maybe, just maybe, God is much bigger than we think. Maybe he relates to other people in other ways. Maybe people along the way have kind of screwed up the revelation. Jeremiah 8:8 was quite interesting: “How can you say, We are wise,for we have the law of the LORD, when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely?". Can we say that our experiences with the Living God are the only way that God can relate to the people's of the earth? That we have "the law of the Lord" when scribes pens have handled it falsely, got the story wrong, misinterpreted, or our thinking wasn't large enough too allow God to do as He pleases.
I think we should be careful to acknowledge The Living God as he is, and not an image we conjure up based upon our limited relationship with him that has been passed down through our faith system.
The body has many parts, so says Corinthians. Maybe the body is bigger than we thought, the parts just not part of our limited view of religion, but an overall larger view of a relationship the Living God has with his creation.
thoughts?
~npp

Ignorant Perceptions

2011-02-24T12:51:00.004-06:00

This past week I had the following dialogue with a friend of mine who is somewhat older than I. And this dialogue illustrates how our ignorance (insert uninformed or uneducated on the subject matter) can warp our perception, causing us to make certain generalizations about groups of individuals. I am hoping this type of dialogue will lead us to at least get to know one another, and maybe, just maybe, the senseless acts that are carried out in whoever's name will cease.

Friends Post that started this conversation:
just read another passage from the Quran - "Verily, the disbelievers are ever unto you open enemies."

My response:
or how about this one: "If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods” (gods that neither you nor your ancestors have known, gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), do not yield to them or listen to them. Show them no pity. Do not spare them or shield them. You must certainly put them to death.

Friend's response:
And we're supposed to believe these folks are PEACEful???

My response:
my quote came from Deuteronomy 13:6, Old Testament, Holy Bible.
Point being I'm not sure you can generalize about another person's faith based on one quote of scripture or passage. I know I kind of set you up buti t does illustrate how the t...ables could be turned on us if THEY read OUR book.
of course, we understand our Old Testament to be the old covenant and not really what we are under today, but those who do not know could easily quote it as they way we think.

Friends response:
You are so right - and I didn't even recognize the passage. Your point is good though, that we are no longer under the old Law. As you alluded, the Old Testament is full of stories about God's approval for mass killings, plunderings, etc.

So when you get that email from your good friends about how this group is doing this or a certain politician is doing that, or if you don't forward this email to 10 of your closest friends something bad will happen, please take a moment and think. Yep, just think. Learn. Don't react without knowledge.

Of course, if you would like to forward this post link to all of your friends so they can be enlightened by me, then all the blessings of the Abrahamic God will be with you and you will also get the winning numbers to the lottery by way of a chinese fortune cookie. Or not. ~npp

cheaters, liars and the rest of the story

2011-02-04T14:30:00.006-06:00

I miss Paul Harvey and his radio program "The Rest of the Story" where he talks about something the listener is familiar with but gives you the part of the story you probably didn't realize. And this is what this post is. The rest of the story.

And some of you will not like it.

Its about relationships. More so your responsibility in your relationships. And its the truth, no matter where you wish to take aim and fire the blame bullet.
This came about after years of listening to conversations about "he cheated" or whatever that means in a relationship, and most recently came to light after the separation and divorce of my cousin. This post is truth. It is intended to help you.

Here's the story. Boy meets girl. Boy impresses girl. Girl impresses boy. They date and are on their best behavior. They dress up. They smell good. They pay attention.

They are nice to each other.

They get married.

Now here is where the story splits. One ending is they keep up the above and live happily ever after. The other ending is someone drops the ball and the whole damn thing unravels. Not that anyone intended for that to happen, but just like a pot of water on the stove that is left unattended, it boils over.

I used to work inside the Texas State prison system investigating internal corruption. One of the issues that was prevelant was female officers becoming "involved" with inmates. And it wasn't just physical, it was relational. And almost always those women were married and they had the same story: got married and then the man quit paying them any attention, as he was content to come home, drink beer and get a gut, set in the chair and fondle his remote control. So they get lonely in the relationship. And yes, inmates have nothing else to do all day except give attention and compliments. And a lonely person will respond. Who is at fault here?

Cousin meets firefighter. Cousin gets married. Cousin quits fixing herself up, wears sweatsuits all the time, has a continual cold and dolts on her little dogs. Firefighter is good looking and stays in shape and a good looking girl who pays him special attention finally succeeds. He is labeled a cheater. Who is at fault here?
The answer: Everyone. Yep. You. Me. Her. Him.

Somehow the idea got out that marriage vows were mainly symbolic and really don't mean anything. And what about those vows anyway? Do we just pick one of them too adhere to "Foresaking all others till death do us part"? What about the other ones. The seemingly lesser ones: To have and too hold. In sickness and in health. For better or worse. How about that lovely little chapter in Corinthians where love does not boast or envy or hold grudges.

What makes you think you are so special that once the magical ceremony is complete that you can quit working on your relationship? That you can let your looks fall apart. That you can ignore your spouse's needs. That someone else is responsible for your well being but not the other way around. That you can be cold and distant and aloof and think that temptation will not come knocking on the door of your relationship? And when it does, who will you blame?

They say many a sports game is won because of the passion of the players and not necessarily just the skill. And when I think about this, I think of football games or basketball teams I have watched and rarely do I see them go into a game lukewarm. Are you engaging the other team with passion or are you merely going through the motions?

There is an "inside" man joke about what food substance has been proven to stop sex. Answer: Wedding Cake. Why is this joke so familiar to many men? Because unfortunately there seems to be some truth that women no longer find sex a necessary component of marriage once the deal is done. Now not all women of course, but enough that every man knows this joke. I do not know what the equivalent joke for women is, but i'm sure there is one. Guys, I bet you used to bring her flowers and take her on dates or out to eat or something and you stopped.

In a book entitle "His Needs Her Needs" by Willard Harley, it identifies basic needs that the wife or husband has, and once identified as important, it is encumbent upon the other to provide that. One is Intimacy, Financial Security, etc. and is a great resource. When I counseled with couples prior to marrying them, the only suggestion I had for them was to get this book and read it. Then live it. Some do and some don't.

I'll let you guess which ones have good marriages and which ones do not. And that, my friend, is the rest of the story.

Life and Death and Life and Death

2011-02-03T16:03:00.002-06:00

This week I have experienced the death of two people, one being young and the other old. One was a young man who worked for me a couple of years and the other was my great aunt. These are their stories:

The young man had been struggling through life, having been recently seperated from his wife and kids. Also his father had passed away during this time and he had already lost a young daughter. This young man had health problems and depression issues and just couldn't seem to get his life on track. He muddled through college while working for me and finally graduated last year with a teaching degree. His passion, he shared with me, was history and kids. After graduating he resigned from my place and went to teach high school. This was his first year to teach. After struggling with his place in the scheme of things, and finally getting it together to do something he really enjoyed, he died. Yep, died in his sleep they think. Found him in his house, alone. Natural causes. He was 42.

My great aunt lived in the same area all her life. Her husband had died 40 years ago and she had lived alone since that time. Her sons and daughters and grandkids all lived in the same area. They were a close family. She was very active, fiesty, mentally alert. A strong middle class everyday american who was born during the tough times of this country, lived through two World Wars, saw a man on the moon, microwave ovens and cell phones, television. Starting with her 70th birthday the family got together to mark the event, because 70 is quiet an accomplishment. I went to her 94th birthday and she was sharp as a tack mentally and physically pretty good as well. Her physical health declined recently and rapidly and she was put in hospice this week. She lived a good life and I know she wouldn't want to linger that way. She was 96.

We grow up with the thought that there is a proper order to life. The way things should go: Birth. childhood. teen years. young adult. college. marriage. family. death of grandparents. career. death of parents. retirement. our own death. But this isn't the course of things for many. Its a worldview that doesn't hold as true for some as others. Its what we would like to happen. Its often expected but not guaranteed. We use expressions like "cut down before their prime" or "died before he got to live" or something of that nature. Our expectations are at least a reasonable amount of time on the planet.

We make our plans. We set our goals. We go about our days as if tomorrow is a sure bet. But nothing is. All we are assured of is this moment. This is it. I can't be sure I will finish this post. Probably will, but you really don't know.

So what did you do with today? How did you spend it? Did you talk to your favorite person? Did you breath? Did you look around at the beauty of the planet? Did you listen to your favorite song? Did you make that phone call you've been putting off?

whats the deal with reading the bible anyway?

2011-02-02T15:55:00.004-06:00

I am rereading the bible using the Bible In 90 Days program with my group. It seems each time I read the bible I see things that I never noticed before. It must have always been there as I don't think my copy has changed over the years, but for some reason it seems different. Perhaps its because I am at a different point in my life and I see things differently than I once did.
Part of this program is just so a person who calls themselves a christian can say they actually read the source book of our faith. It is amazing to me how many have not read it. They have read novels by Louis Lamoure and John Grisham and others or perhaps romance books or whatever. Perhaps they have read a ton of books about religion or christianity or theology by authors like Donald Miller or CS Lewis or Anne Lamont or Max Lucado.
And it seems to be sort of the norm for christians NOT to have read the bible. Most do not see that it is a big deal that they haven't read it for themselves. They grew up going to church so they know something about how that works. They have heard probably hundreds of sermons on certain bible teachings or parables or stories from the bible. We (christian folks) tend to utilize it like a reference guide in times of trouble, going to whatever section at whatever time to study a certain thing and having an "aha" moment then we close it back up and put it away. This approach is much like being sick and going to the pharmacy to hang out hoping that you'll get better without taking any medication.
Maybe you can sleep on it like we tried in college and absorb the contents through osmosis.
The bible for me is not a magical book. I don't have better luck when I have it on my car's dashboard. It is not a good luck charm. I do not take every word of it literally. Much of it I believe may be jewish folklore best they could tell and hand down verbally. Much of it is written through the lens of the author of each book with their own understandings at that time and space. I do not believe it fell out of the sky in the King's English with red lettering. It may be inspired by God, but man had his hand in it. It is, however, the closest thing we have to understanding God. And that understanding is very limited I believe.
I can tell you however, that after I first read the whole thing, that experience sent me on a different path or journey. I had a new perspective on things. I had a larger picture of God and the God Experience. I had answers I didn't have before, read things I had never heard in a sermon, and had questions that couldn't be answered even by the greatest of theologians.
It has increased my faith in God.
I encourage you to read it for yourself. See what you've been missing out on by only hearing those pastel painted sermons that portray biblical events as kid stories. It may just rock your world.

my little part in the kingdom

2011-01-25T16:04:00.003-06:00

My last post was about losing my Faith and kind of finding it once more. The process of becoming aware again, or at least slowing down long enough to listen. Its a hard thing to do in this world, to not get caught up in the day to day stuff life is made of, and find some time to listen.
I think that God is speaking all the time. Maybe not in words alone, but through other people, experiences, media, articles, prayer, meditation, etc., and it is up to us to tune in and catch it. Much like radio waves that are all around us, we fail to connect to the right frequency, fail to position the antennae in the proper position for receiving a good signal. Whatever.
Sure it would be nice if He would just say "Hey, get a stone tablet and jot this down" as he did with the prophets of old, but he doesn't. I have no idea why.
So this week I "tune-in" two different messages. Both are messages of affirmation of many things. Those things being that I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing. That I am being used despite who I am. That the things I do really make a difference, somehow. That I don't have to "hear" God speaking to know that He is at work in my life and others.
A person I met a couple of years ago has been wanting to come to the class I teach. I say "come on" all the time but she hasn't. Wasn't God's time yet for her. She was raised Catholic and always had issues with that faith system for her, so when I began "The Bible in 90 Days" she showed up. Wanted to read the Bible for herself. Tuning in. Told me this past week that her atheist son-in-law allowed her to bring the 4 year old granddaughter with her and she went to the 4 yr old sunday school class. Two for the price of one.
Today I get a message from someone I met during my graduate studies at the university. She told me that, well here's the message:

From friend "...you know you are the one who brought me back to religion years ago. When I was doubting and angry. That was you :) wanted you to know that."
My response: "I did not know that. Thanks for letting me know. I suspect it was God who was seeking you out, and He has a habit of using others to do that. Glad he picked me for that assignment."

Since i have been wondering recently about my faith and my status as prophet or whatever part I get to play in the kingdom, God drops me these little affirmations that, like the ill-suited prophets of old, I am still being used. Maybe not on a grand scale where i can get public accolades, but where it matters. With real people. Where the rubber meets the road.

Not bad

losing my faith...

2011-01-21T12:42:00.005-06:00

Somewhere along the way I lost my faith. I'm not sure how it happened but it did. It was gradual like water seeping into the ground after a heavy rain, there one minute and then gone without fanfare. I came to this realization over the past couple of weeks.
This is why:
I am now rereading the entire bible. yes. Fun stuff. (Sarcasm)
The last time I did was in 1996.
I started "The Bible in 90 Days" program in the adult christian education class I teach. However, I am not teaching this...just facilitating a preplanned curriculum.
The Old Testament is somewhat tedious with measurements and dimensions and numbers, and it's God a bit bizarre with sacrifices and blood on people's ear lobes and burnt animal smells being a pleasing aroma. Okay that last part I can somewhat identify since I am a huge BBQ fan.
but I digress.
In the past two weeks I have read the first four books of the Old Testament and have decided I would make a terrible Israelite. I probably would have been one of those whining ones that got consumed in the Lord's angry fire or whatever.
And this God of the Old Testament somehow doesn't quite "fit" with the God I know as presented in the New Testament or the God I have had so many interactions with over the course of my lifetime.
So I am having issues reconciling those two Gods in my head.
Just before beginning the reread of The Bible, I read a book entitled "God's Problem", written by a former evangelical pastor who went to an extremely fundamental seminary. The author is also a phd/scholar in Old Testament and still teaches at a well known university in the Carolinas. His main issue with the God of the Bible is on the matter of suffering, and the guy makes pretty good arguments, well thought out about God allowing suffering and the many feeble attempts Christianity has made over the centuries trying to explain it.
And I reflect upon my own personal life and the here and now struggles I am dealing with: a relationship that is somewhat less than what I desire it to be; financial issues that are ever prevalent; a daughter who is about to graduate from high school and wanting to go to a college and trying to find away to pay for it; a stressful job. You get the picture. Heck, you are probably saying "me too!".
And no matter now much effort I put into it, how much planning I do, how much harder I work... nothing changes. I cannot control it.
read that... I CAN NOT C O N T R O L IT!
damnit.
Like the warmth of spring when it works its magic after winter has left its mark on the earth, I began to see that I had lost my faith. I had left that out. I have not trusted that God has this nor have I asked him too. I have been relying on ME. Like I could handle this. Very Manly.
Control issues. Distracted by a world that will consume you anyway it can, from your inside out, soul and all. Not one reliance on God.
Faith.
The author who could not reconcile the God of the bible with suffering in the world lost his faith. became agnostic.
The Israelites of the bible continually did not have faith in God of the old testament even though he worked miracles in their presence and provided their every need.
The nonprofitprophet continued to trust in himself to solve all of his own problems and shoulder the weight of an often demanding and uncaring world and in the process, lost his faith in a God who has shown himself over and over again to provide. It didn't take much.
and now i know this...in the process of losing my faith, i have regained it. I will be more mindful that there are many things that we simply will never be able to reconcile, to control, or understand. I'm not sure we were ever supposed to.
That great void that we are unable to define, control, comprehend, or come to terms with....? there, therein lies Faith. Faith That God will do as he will do and Is Who He Says He Is... Simply "I Am". and I am not.

Tick Tock

2010-11-29T16:38:00.004-06:00

Time is passing. It is picking up speed like a locomotive on a gradual decline whose tracks extend over the years and what I am passing is blurry at best. I can feel it much more so than ever before. I can tell that my whole person is slowing both in energy and in physical ways.

Its weird.

As a young person you never really expect it to actually happen to you. I mean intellectually, as a matter of fact, you know it should happen, but the reality that it really will happen is somewhat aloof. You assume grown ups are grown ups and elderly are elderly and, well, you are youthful. You assume things will always be this way. Now the elderly of my youth have passed away, the grown ups are elderly and I am a grown up.

It happened gradually I know, but it seems to have snuck up on me without my awareness or my consent. It happened. I'm not all that thrilled by it. People treat me like I am an adult. I have to conduct myself as one. I have the responsibilities of an adult. It is all very bizarre.

I passed by a school with a playground full of children and some of my companions noted how the children were playing. Yes, playing. We wondered what that feels like. To play. We recognized in that moment that we no longer played. It is a concept lost to the adults and remains in the realm of childhood. I suppose as it should. Still I am envious.

I am learning to relate to people now in this role of grown up. I have people who work with me that wasn't even alive when I graduated from high school. It is surreal. I have memories and experiences that occurred prior to their existence and it dawns on me that those older than I do as well. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the concept that things existed and happened and life went on before I was a part of it.

It somewhat saddens me to think that it will continue to do so once I have departed but in another way it doesn't. Wouldn't it be interesting to see how this all turns out? We will never know.

Tick Tock

Brian McLaren's A NEW KIND OF CHRISTIANITY

2010-03-27T07:42:00.002-05:00

I have been reading Brian McLaren's new book "A New Kind of Christianity". Disclaimer is that this is the first of his books that I have read. And its a good one. This is one of those books that gives you some insight into "things" about christianity that you probably have never heard if you grew up in the "official traditional" church. Of course, that is part of the post modern movement isn't it, too question and rethink what "church" is?
So he does so in many ways. Sometimes Brian gets a little too much into the detail of a certain thing in his attempt to explain a complex subject to simple reader like myself, but thats okay. This is a book that takes some time to read, think about what the author said, then move on into the next part. Brian is shaping an arguement or painting a picture of maybe how we should view the bible/christianity in light of new information.
I could see this book being used in seminary to stimulate conversation (where it wouldn't be considered heresy) and maybe shape and rethink some old opinions. I am definitely going to take some of the key thoughts of the book and break them up and teach over them myself. Its a book I am dog-earing if that helps you any.
Now, if you aren't familiar with Brian McLaren or the post modern emergent movement thing, then be a little open minded when reading. Especially if you are like myself and are more conservative regarding most social issues, because the main participants of this movement tend to be of the socio-liberal variety. However, I agree with their take on christianity, but not necessarily their perception of social/political issues.
Read the book. I recommend it!

Separation of Church and State?

2009-10-10T11:26:00.007-05:00

I awoke this morning early with these thoughts running through my mind. This is a few hours later and I feel like putting them into words. I feel that God put them there, so I am just writing them down.

I have been struggling for a really long time with my thoughts on "if America is really a Christian Nation". I have mixed feelings about this and am pretty sure I don't have it figured out exactly. I am torn between scriptures that talk about a people or nations who turn to God and God blesses that nation, versus knowing that we are all children of God and God loves us all on an individual basis, regardless of what country we live in. I am torn because I believe that both are true. I think that God can bless "peoples" or "nations" who operate more in line with how he would have us treat one another universally, and I think that he God can withhold universal blessings upon a nation or peoples, but bless an individual within that group. But this isn't my main thought ...

I think we are at a point in American History when we have to determine whether or not we are a secular nation (which is what is seemingly happening) or are we a christian nation (a nation that basis its morals, laws and customs upon Christianity). I'm not sure that originally we were intended to be a "Christian" nation. Most of the references that I have seen to early founders of this country, the United States, have lots of references to God, A Supreme Being, or the Creator. It appears the founders were for the most part deists - or believers in God. I haven't come across alot of information detailing references to Jesus Christ. So I draw the conclusion that God (and His guidance and blessings) were a central part of the founding fathers thought processes, hence a Godly nation, but not a Christian nation so too speak. I cannot find where God was left out of the equation in the formation and fundamentals of this country.

So onto Separation of Church and State. This phrase gets tossed out everytime there is an issue where God or Christianity or someone's personal beliefs gets attention in the public arena. It, the phrase "Separation of Church and State" has taken on a whole new meaning, and a life of its own, in our modern culture. It appears that the definers of words and phrases have won the debate, as it is no longer used in its historical context. To set the matter straight - I have no issue with the concept of Separation of Church and State. And its not in the constitution by the way. I don't think "the Church" should set policy for "the State". If you know your history about England and the Church of England and the founding fathers, you understand the relevance of my statement. The Official Organized Church had too much power in the Government/Monarchy and they governed badly and denied people the option to worship as they wished. Meaning, you had to be a member of their Organized Church. And this was enforced by the State. So the separation clause ensured this would not happen again... so we could be Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, whatever.

but...

Separation of Church and State now means that God is totally removed from the public sector. No more prayers at football games, bibles at school, 10 commandments on public courthouse lawns, no more crosses displayed on public lands. Now I try not to to be cynical and am fairly reasonable, but who cares if if there is a cross commemorating the dead on a battlefied. I would not care if muslim monuments or jewish stars of david were erected either. And both of these, by the way, believe in a supreme being, God, as well. I fear, that the very thing the founding fathers were trying to prevent, is happening anyway, only in reverse. That the State, not the Church, is interjecting itself into our spiritual beliefs. Public or private prayer is a manisfestation of ones faith. No one is forcing anyone else to pray. If I am in Tehran, and a muslim prayer is offered, and I am not forced to participate, I do not care. I understand its a Muslim country, meaning that a majority of its inhabitants are Islamic and that is there foundation and custom.

So my question is "are we a Christian Nation". I think probably not. Are we a nation that believes in God? Yes. Have been since the beginning. We even have prayers to God in the Senate. Prayers and religious leaders at Presidential swearing in ceremonies. Is the Church telling the State what to do? I don't see that it is. Is the State telling the Church what to do? Well, its getting dangerously close. A majority of Americans call themselves Christian. Thats great. Some are buddhist and some are muslim and some are agnostic and some are aetheist. The State isn't telling you you have to attend the Official Church of America (Southern Baptist I think - thats a joke). So we have separation of church and state. I'm glad we have it. I don't want a particular chuch or the state telling me when, where and how to worship.

I also don't want the same State telling me I can't, when,where and how. I would like to see our National Heritage stay in place, with our recognition that the nation was founded in a belief in God. That the founders were Deists, and that recognition of a sovereign and almighty creator in the public sector is fine. I also think its okay if someone displays the 10 commandments or prays to God in the public sector. Its not a "Christian" thing, the 10 commandments came from God. The founders and the Congress each pray to God during sessions. The church isn't saying you have to do this - hence it is a separate thing. And its rightly separate. We do this because its an expression of our faith. Our belief systems. Our traditions in the recognition of a higher authority. By displaying the 10 commandments in a courtroom, the State is just affirming the heritage passed down from the inception of this country. And just what part of the 10 commandments are Christian? None.

Our expression of faith is not to separated from our daily lives, whether christian, muslim, jewish, whatever. The phrase is "Separation of Church and State", not "Separation of God and State". I think the issue needs more exploration before we declare ourselves secular with no reference to God at all. I feel there may be some credence to the relationship between Nation's behaviors and God's Blessings. Haven't gotten that all sorted through in my mind yet, but thats the Word. ~npp

Review of "A Prayer To Our Father"

2009-09-28T12:07:00.003-05:00

I have gotten involved with TheOOZE (www.theooze.com) in something they call Viral Bloggers. Sounds contagious doesn't it. In a respect I guess it could be. They offer the latest in spiritually themed books if you are an existing blogger, and if you will read it and provide a review on the book. They have to check out your blog first to see if its a good fit, then you get approved and choose a book.

So this is my first run at it. I chose "A Prayer To Our Father...Hebrew Origins of The Lord's Prayer" by Nehemia Gordon and Keith Johnson. The title peaked my interested, as well as the background of the authors. Nehemia is in Jerusalem and is Jewish and holds so many credentials in this arena that its too much to list here. Keith is African American, has a Master's of Divinity and is an ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church. But my interest was that he served as Chaplain of the Minnesota Vikings.

The book starts out with the first 82 pages basically talking about the authors getting to know each other and discussing possibly where the certain important events took place geographically. They would travel to this or that location and Jerusalem and measure it against recorded scripture. Though it had some interesting information, I found this section of the book really dry or bland. I wanted to get to the meat of the subject and was not so impressed with the fact finding tour.

It took until page 83 (roughly midway through the book) for the authors to finally get to the actual Lord's Prayer, or Avinu Prayer as they called it. They broke each line down in separate chapters, and this aspect was actually interesting as it finally addressed the subject of the book. Taking the version that we Christians/Protestants have learned and repeated forever, and comparing it to the Hebrew version of Matthew, they pointed out several words, phrases, etc. that actually put the prayer into a different perspective. Using the cultural events of the day, the historical references and play on words in the prayer, this brought a better understanding of what and why we are saying what we are saying. I found this part worthy of reading. I even taught my christian education class using the section on Daily Bread.

I would recommend this book if you like to read more factual based works. I compared it to reading history or archaeology. If you don't like reading those type topics, you may not like reading this. But the information is good. It is presented rather dry, and there really are no punch lines. I think the information could have been boiled down to cliff note style, meaning the book was about twice as big as needed be.

how do you define christianity

2009-08-26T09:55:00.004-05:00

I received an email from a guy I don't really know. We area associated thru Face Book. He said he was having trouble figuring out his role as "christian" and was dealing with some worldly issues and wanted to know what I meant by my term Protestant Postmodern Tradionalist... This was my response:

"well let me see. Its actually a combination of things I consider myself. Many folks consider themselves denominationally, like Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, whatever... even though I am a member of the United Methodist Church, it is still under the Christian religion and Protestant wing. So when asked "what religion are you" some reply Baptist, but thats a denomination affiliation. So Protestant. Postmodern is a relatively new term. For me it means that I am willing to accept or be open to the premise that we don't know everything there is to know about God, and that the Mystery and Nature of God is probably much bigger than we have given Him credit for. We have put God in such a nice tidy box of doctrines that we marry ourselves to, that we do not allow for the possibility that God could be something other than what we've learned. It is allowing people to keep searching and questioning and growing in their understanding and knowledge of God without all the associated "rules and procedures" that religion has imposed. So thats Postmodern for me.

Tradionalist is basically what is says. I haven't thrown the baby out with the bath water. I take all that I have learned from "the faith of our fathers living still" and apply it to my daily walk and understanding. However, I do not stop there. I do not believe that the final word has been spoken. I believe God speaks to us each and every moment and that creation is still occuring. Back to my "religion limiting God" stuff. Religion or Religious Doctrines dictate this or that and what you should do... I'm not sure that "religion" has it all figured out. So I take my traditional values, mix it with my Postmodern questioning, and try and find my place/relationship with God.

Christianity. In my walk I have been everything I describe in my teachings and conversations, so I speak from experience. I have been arrogant, evangelical, servant hearted, judgemental, confused, apathetic etc... Christianity used to be for me a set of rules and processes, church attendance and committee meetings. It wasn't personal, it was social. In our geographical region, many consider themselves "christian" because they attend church. I saw a saying once that stated "going to church no more makes you a christian that going to mcdonalds makes you a hamburger". funny but true. Max Lucado used the term "Churchianity" to describe this. Its a social norm for us in this area to go to church, but as you know we don't always practice Christianity. Which brings up the main point: What is Christianity anyway? What does it mean to you? In my old self, I used to think it was a set up behaviors: christians don't drink, smoke, curse, have lustful thoughts, vote democratic, etc. They go to church and do nice stuff in the community. I have found that none of this is true. Christianity is merely "practicing the teachings of Christ" or "Christ follower". hmmmm... so what DID Jesus say? Basically, it is Love One Another. Jesus is quoted as saying the greatest commandment is:"You must love God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind.' This is the greatest and first commandment. The second, like it, is this: 'You must love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments the whole Law hangs, and the Prophets." (Matt. 22:35-40) So basically love. Not too much judgement in there. Not to many rules. No doctrine. Just examples from his parables on how to treat people. Relationships. So Christianity has very little to do with church, or, uh, religion.
Now, we express ourselves thru worship and act together as the body of Christ through the organized church. Not bad. Good stuff if the focus is good. Build the kingdom but not the the empire so to speak. But you can be a Christian without going to church. Because Christianity and Religion are not the same. enough said on that.

So, do you beat yourself up as a Christian? Not good enough? Have too much baggage for God to use? The bible is full of stories of folks just like that who God used all the time. Point being Christians are not perfect and are spinning their wheels trying to be, or at least for beating themselves up over it. Michael Yacconelli wrote a book entitled "Messy Spirituality". It gives you permission to understand that you are only human, you will have issues, and that you will never be perfect. God loves you anyway. Heck, he created you, so he knows we are flawed and lacking. Doesn't mean he can't use us.

And for some reason, people think when they "accept Christ" its like a magic pill, and nothing bad will ever happen. Again, unbiblical. Life happens regardless if you are a Christian or not - its who you put your trust in to get you through that is the difference. If you rely solely on yourself, you'll fall flat on your face. If you trust in God, you may fall flat on your face, but He will help you up.
So yes, you will deal with worldly issues. I'm not sure in what respect your issues are, but it is Okay to have them. We all do. Its how you choose to deal with them that matters.
any of this helpful? continue the conversation?"

I hope the conversation continues.

Affirmation and Doubt

2009-08-19T15:27:00.004-05:00

Recently, in the past month or so, I have been struggling with doubt. Doubting myself in teaching our adult christian education class. I keep thinking people will figure out I'm full of *** and call my bluff. I wonder to myself if I am teaching what I am supposed to be teaching and if anyone cares overall. I am very careful to check myself periodically to make sure some narcissism isn't seeping in, and instead of it being about the spiritual journey - it becomes all about me. I am wary of that. I "know" its not about me, but my personal ego and self gratification sometimes get the best of me, so I try to remember to be gracious and humble whenever possible.
A couple of weeks ago, while doing our current study over the book "I'm Fine With God... It's Christians I Can't Stand" one of the members who attends about once every other month shows up. We are talking about whatever and she asks "Why do we care?". I'm kind of taken aback. Why do we care? Well hell, why do we care about anything? I wanted to say "well I guess in your case you don't care"... but I didn't. I tried in my best political voice to articulate why we should care, because Christians doing stupid stuff gives us all a bad name and leads people off-course on their spiritual journey.
And I went home kind of ticked off. Questions like "why bother" and "am I getting through to these casual christians" bounced inside my heart and head until I couldn't stand it. Maybe I'm off base and someone else needs to take over teaching.
Yep. I was Eeyore. Woe is me. But hey, it was my pity party.
Someone else taught for me this past Sunday as I was out of town and I met that person for breakfast this morning. He related to me that they had a general open discussion of our past class topics and people really opened up. They discussed how a certain book or study resonated with them and how all of the studies seemed to come together. They shared personal stories about growing up, dysfunction, church, and tied it back to each thing we have talked about over the last year or so. There was even a first time visitor who shared that he was a recovering addict and dealer who has been clean for the past two years.
Affirmation. A little message from God?
Yes, they have been listening. growing. discerning. connecting. trusting. It was good to hear that. Relieved my doubts about what we have been doing. That it does make a difference, and yes, the answer to "why do we care?" was answered.

I bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle

2009-08-14T16:16:00.004-05:00

I had no idea it had been this long since I blogged last. For some reason, life has seemed to fill itself with all sorts of distractions to keep me busy. From family to work to other pursuits, I am often amazed at how much I have to do and that thet end of the day comes so quickly. There are many times I have had GREAT THOUGHTS on things to blog about, and of course I am in the shower most of those times and can't write them down, so of course I loose the thought.
A week ago today I bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle. A big one. Lots of chrome and shine to it. I love riding motorcycles. I have owned and ridden one off and on since the age of fourteen. For the last eight years I have ridden a Kawasaki Vulcan Classic. A very eye catching and comfortable bike that has given me years of reliable service. But I have wanted a larger bike for about two years but couldn't bring myself to spend the money. Here are some of the reasons.
Guilt.
Yep, guilt. I felt guilty about it. They are quite a bit of money and in the realm of things are not a necessity. It is money I could spend elsewhere on the family. I had a bike that was paid for so I didn't really HAVE to have a bigger bike. I also wondered what Jesus would say about it. That is money that I could have used in tithing, or donating to non-profits, or whatever. Yes, guilt.
Okay, thats about it. Not many other reasons I put off buying one. But I absolutely love the feeling of riding a powerful machine down the roads with the wind greeting me and being at one with my surroundings. Its like therapy for me. I can clear my mind and just get lost and not worry about whatever. After a nice ride I have a better attitude and overall feeling of all is okay. It releases me from chains that ties me to life, and allows me to live.
It does my soul good.
So I will enjoy my new Harley. I will relish in the moments that God allows me to commune with him in this way. It is truly awesome.
Live to Ride - Ride to Live.

An American Lesson from Six Flags Amusement Park

2009-06-15T16:29:00.004-05:00

This past week I took a small vacation with my family. We ended up going to Six Flags over Texas amusement park in Arlington, Texas, with the kids one of the days. My children are all school aged, from 6 to 16, and we try to teach some good life lessons on and off when the opportunity arises. This day would prove to be one of those times.

It began with our arrival to the parking area of the park. If you haven't been there, you have to pay to park. Always have. Of course, over the years it gets more expensive. But this time there was something different. There were different levels of parking, each with their own respective costs. There was general parking for $10, prefered parking for $15, and Valet parking for $20 or so. Now whats strange about this is the parking lot isn't that big. So you pay more bucks to walk a few feet less.

Then its off to the main gates to purchase your tickets. Once you pay your tickets to get inside, there was another opportunity for you to spend your money. I believe it was called a Speed Pass. For an additional $20 you could purchase this speed pass and avoid the waiting in lines by accessing another way to the ride and getting put first before those waiting in line. So while you, average Joe American who paid to park and enter are standing in line with the other Joes, someone else walks past you and gets in the front of the line because they outspent you.

And I found something totally distasteful about that. Something wrong with that in this land of equailty we refer to as the United States. Where all are supposedly equal. And my kids noticed it as well. You want to be able to tell your kids that the American Dream is available to everyone, and that if you work hard and do all the right stuff, that you can achieve anything you wish. And to some degree that is true. But not totally.

In this representative democracy, certain things are still dependent on luck, right place at right time, who you know, and how much money/advantage in life you have. Not that you can't better yourself no matter what, but the aforementioned list does come into play despite what others might say. If you have a GED and mow yards for a living, then decide to complete college and get a job managing a grocery store, you have engaged in part of the American dream. You are not relegated to a life of mowing yards. However, If you are the offspring of the person who owns the store, well, lets just say your options are somewhat different and on a greater scale.

And we in America love our status symbols don't we. Its amazing how we try to separate ourselves along ecomonic lines in ever so slight ways. Automobiles for instance. It was Ford, Chevy, Dodge, Toyota, Nissan, etc. They made fine cars, so pick one. But if every average american is driving one, how do we let others know we have more money than them? hmmm... Lets see, lets build a toyota and call it a Lexus and charge more for it. Let take a chevrolet suburban, call it a cadillac escalade and charge more for it. That way the folks with more money let the average american joe know it.

Now if you have one of these cars (I happen to like the Lexus very much), this post isn't a dig at you for owning one. Its an observation on how marketing and money come to play in our everyday lives. And we don't even seem to notice. And so it was with Six Flags. Pay $20 more per person and you get on the same rides as everyone else does, just a few minutes faster. But minutes, like money, are just another way to divide us.

And so my daughter and I have a discussion on the way out of the park. I asked her if she knew what the "Golden Rule" was. She said yes, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And I told her that was correct, and that is the way we live. Okay, try to live. But I also told her the other Golden Rule: Those who have the gold make the rule. We live by a set of values in this society that are opposite of what our ideals as americans should be. We often don't treat others the way we would have them treat us, and that's too bad. And the speed pass makes me sad.

what i learned from my political race

2009-05-18T12:34:00.003-05:00

Well the political race for me is over. I came in a solid 3rd out of three contestants. But what I learned was immeasurable. And here are a few of them:

I get competitive but I still couldn't "sell myself". Felt odd patting myself on the back.

I had to fight the urge to slam my opponents.

It was hard taking the high rode, especially when people wanted me to say something bad about another person in the race.

If an election has no issues - it is one big popularity contest.

People still like to follow the crowd and vote for the candidate with the most money.

Campaigns are expensive and it takes money to do the smallest bit of campaigning.

There are people who believe in you and help out and there are those who don't.
If someone might lose a dollar over taking a side, they will side with their dollar.

There is a lot of paperwork and regulations to follow just to be a candidate.

I am proud I tried.

Who knows what is in store for me later. Maybe another run. Maybe not. I am restless.

Tea Party

2009-04-18T08:22:00.002-05:00

As some of you know I am running for a political office. Its a school board and non-paid (just like my nonprofit propheting) but an elected position all the same. And of course I would have opponents so I'm having to purchase signs and campaign and all that jazz. But I have to admit its pretty damned interesting.

Being a fiscal conservative and a social moderate is quite the balancing act. To mix reason with politics is almost undoable. Its like Spirituality and Religion - its hard to get past the rhetoric and noise to what is actually important. But I'm trying.

I have been on this Facebook thing for some time now and it is quite interesting as well. Reconnecting with folks I haven't heard from in 20 years and some folks I have never even met. I like the way technology functions in this respect. However, sometimes our media doesn't always work this way.

Take the Tea Party's of last week. To watch the mainstream media, one would think that it was an isolated minority of right wing extremists fueled by Fox News and talk radio. That the audience was exclusively those folks. I think the British attempted the same labeling and propaganda against the Colonists/Founding Fathers when they threw their little temper-tantrum in Boston. Admittedly, there were "some" fringe elements there, but they were NOT representative of the overall crowd. There were democrats, libertarians, republicans, conservatives, moderates, christians, non-christians, spectators, and others.

And I think the main stream media and possibly some talk shows have missed the point. Its not Anti-Obama. Its Anti-Stupid spending of our tax dollars. And this was started in the last days of the Bush Administration. Of course the finger pointing is always prevelant depending on one's point of view, and enough fingers pointed in enough differing directions is bound to cause enough confusion so that the issues and solutions are not forth coming. And thats unfortunate.

Now I'm a pretty simple fella, and somehow spending money we don't have (and spending it recklessly) just doesn't make sense to me. If we have people in this country without medical insurance, losing their homes, and a growing unemployment rate, why in the world would we pledge billions to other countries (such as Sudan) when we are having to borrow money from China just to stay afloat here? And if we are going to bailout anyone, how about the people who paid the taxes in the first place? Why give it to the big corporations? We see what they have done with it and the common folks, like myself, are still no better off.

Well, Bush is to blame. No, Obama is to blame. No, greedy corporations are to blame. No, irresponsible home buyers are to blame. How about all of the above. Okay, so everyone is to blame. Could we at least quit the pandering and propaganda and solve this issue. The media tore Bush down all the time. The talk shows tear Obama down all the time. Maybe its time we tore ourselves down, and these political lines and idealogy, come to grips with we aren't ever all going to agree on the best way to do anything, and at least get something done?

probably not. Well, I gotta go put out some more campaign signs....

Put Christ Back in Schools?

2009-03-21T13:58:00.003-05:00

I came across this on Facebook the other day, "Put Christ Back in Schools". Someone had joined this group and had sent me an invitation to join as well. So I asked myself "who took Him out?". Where in the heck did they put Him? I have a bobble-head Jesus (yes, my baptist friends think it complete heresy) in my office on the shelf, and I had a mental image of someone moving him somewhere just to mess with me. I would start a group "Put Jesus back on the Shelf", but that wouldn't sound good either now would it.

Now I understand what people mean when they say "Put Christ Back in Schools". Its an expression of sentiment that their beliefs and freedoms of religion are being trampled upon by political correctness, culture wars, atheists, and whatever else, and in some measure I believe they are correct. It is a two-edged sword however, as freedom to practice ones religious beliefs is more inclusive than just chrisitainity, and I'm afraid those same persons who would like to pray to Jesus at football games would not be so inclined if the prayers were Islamic to Allah. Anyway thats another discussion.

So why isn't Christ in schools? Are you folks leaving him at home when you pack your lunches and grab your books and head out the door? Are you busy getting your gradebook and your lesson plans together and forget to pick Him up with your purse and ID card? Since there are no official clergy present in the lunchroom, are you not able to pray over your meal? Are you so focused on your sport that you don't take Him into the locker room with you?

So who took Christ out of the schools in the first place?

Yep. You guessed it. We did. We are responsible for "Putting Christ back in Schools". Christ is not a bobble-head that has been moved from my shelf to another location. He is not a morning prayer right after the pledge of allegiance. Christ is us. We are the hands and feet of Christ/Jesus. He dwells within us. Our actions are an outpouring of our hearts. So if anyone took him out, it would be us.

So let's take it a bit further. Put Christ back in our Families. Put Christ back in our Workplace. Put Christ back in OUR CHURCHES! And the way to do that is to put Christ back in your heart and take him with you. And you don't need the government for that.

Now if you want to talk about the legitimate assaults on Christianity from the culture, (as in the group suing in Texas over the moment-of-silence) we can do that in another post.

a day in the life of the prophet

2009-03-10T16:24:00.004-05:00

So I'm camping yesterday with my lubberly lil' family at one of the State Parks when my eyeglass frames break. Fun times. I am officially a dork now with one ear piece missing and the glasses perched upon my nose held only in place by the other ear piece.

So off I go to the place where I purchased them to get another frame and we decide to go to the local chinese food place for lunch. I'm wearing my normal weekend camping attire, a pair of cargo shorts and a black t-shirt from my good friend's faith community (Journey IFC) and my gold chain with my United Methodist cross hanging from it. While I'm eating, an older fella with his company logo shirt comes in the door and our eyes meet. Somehow we seem to connect as we look at each other, and then he goes to another part of the restaurant. A little later on I'm interupted by the words, "Excuse me sir." Holding an egg roll in one hand and a mouth full of something that looks like chicken, I look up and its this same guy. He says to me, "Thank you for wearing that cross". I respond with something stupid I'm sure, like "Thanks" or "your welcome" or something, and he says, "I appreciate that". And its not the "politician smiling suck up way" of saying something, it was the "sincere somber I've got a story" way of saying something. So he turns and walks out of the restaurant. I resist the urge to follow him outside, due to my family being with me, but would really have loved to hear his story. To see where he is in his life. There was something there.

We leave and go to the place where I bought my glasses and they don't carry that frame anymore. I call the eye doctor and he loves me so much he works me in so I can get a new exam. We drive over and I walk in the lobby and have a seat. My family goes elsewhere. A lady in her 50s walks in and sets in the lobby as well. Just she and I. She looks over at me and asks, "Is that a United Methodist cross" and I replied yes. Thats all it took. She opened up like the flood gates of the Hoover Dam and begin telling me how her grandparents were the charter members of some baptist church in another community, how she had been a Baptist for 50 plus years of her life but is now going to one of the local United Methodist churches. I said "good for you" and she kept on... I was a Baptist for 50 plus years until I got a divorce. Then I was treated differently because I was divorced. This lady also had a story to tell and I listened. We talked about judgement of others and how different she now felt with a grace filled theology instead of the one she had grown up with. She said she wished she had known this earlier in her life because she actually liked to go to the casinos, have some wine and dance every now and then. I told her it was a beautiful thing that she was a recovering baptist and she replied "I'm recovered!". I tried to explain there was no such thing as a "recovered baptist", that its a process like AA, you are always in recovery, and she just laughed. She said she now teaches a sunday school class and thoroughly loves it. She wasn't allowed to at her Baptist church it sounded like.

She asked me if I had read "The Shack". Wow, yes I had read it and it was a good read. She said she was reading it now but some of her Baptist friends said it was heresy. We both agreed those folks would probably have a rude awakening when and if they actually met god. Then the lady who worked there spoke up and said she was reading it for the second time. It went on like this for a while until they called me into the exam room. I gave the lady the name of a book to read that lets her know its okay to be human, "Messy Spirituality" and she had me write it down on a piece of paper. I have no doubt she drove down the street to the book store and bought it. This lady, in her 50s, was all on fire with finally getting the chance to figure out who she is and what she believes and what God wants of her.

It was totally cool.

And this happens to me all the time. Another day in the life of the nonprofitprophet.

And that is cool as well.

so I'm teaching over Matthew when...

2009-03-01T21:35:00.002-06:00

I've been teaching over a study of Matthew for the past several weeks. Its a pretty good study and the group, as far as I can tell, is enjoying it. We try to mix our discussions up by studying a book such as Blue Like Jazz, watching a film clip and applying it to our daily walk (the last was Batman The Dark Knight), and then a study of one of the books contained in the bible. This gives us some variety.

So today's discussion was over Matthew 19: 13-30, where Jesus blesses the little children, despite the disciples trying to keep the kids from bothering them and Jesus. Jesus sets them straight and blesses the kids and then makes a couple of examples on how they need to be like these little ones to enter the kingdom. And then the story of the rich man asking Jesus what he needs to do to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Now, I know you've heard this story at least a hundred times. And so have I. But when preparing for it this week, I just got tickled. You know, it struck me funny. So Jesus is standing there and this unknown person (presumably wealthy) asks Him what he has to do to enter the kingdom. Jesus says "If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments." And the guy replies, "Which Ones?". Man, I just laughed. "which ones?". So I'm thinking "all of them you moron!". Why would God give you commandments and then say, "uh, go ahead and choose which one of these you'd like to keep". And it reminds me of my conversations with my kids. "eat your french fries." to which they reply "do I have to eat them all". Or "eat your carrots" and they say "how many". So Jesus replies with six commandments the guy needs to keep and names them. Now I'm not Jesus, and I have no idea why He cut him slack and only said six of them, but I guess He had his reasons.

So the six have something in common, they are all centered around our relationships to others. How we treat and respond and respect and love each other. Out of the 10 commandments, Jesus chose these. And that tells me something about what is important to Jesus when he actually allows the guy to keep only six of the commandments. Jesus is concerned with relationship.

now there is more to the story of course. The young man says he has kept those six (don't know about the other four) so wanted to know if there was anything he hadn't done. Jesus says, "yep, go sell your stuff and give the money to the poor" and that would do it. The guy can't do it. He values stuff more than people. And the scripture says he is grieved by it.

So is something keeping you from the Kingdom? Is it possessions? Is it fear? Is it control? I wonder what Jesus would tell us if we asked, "what do I need to do?". I wonder if He would cut us some slack?

Awareness

2009-02-11T16:24:00.002-06:00

I'm not exactly sure when this took place, but I was probably ten or eleven years old when awareness began. Awareness for me took the form of noticing girls, and then noticing myself and becoming self conscious about how I looked. Before this time, I was blissfully unaware of anything other than whatever was taking place at the moment. I just reacted to my surroundings like a squirrel in the middle of the road with an approaching car - all over the place.
And it was about this time that my dad became unemployed. He was an insurance salesman and I don't really remember what happened, I just knew that for a while there he didn't have a job. And somehow I found out that he had borrowed some money from the neighbors to buy us kids some new t-shirts and underwear for christmas. I can still remember my younger sister crying about not getting the toys she wanted, and how sad my parents looked.
So we never asked for anything much. Except now I was starting to notice that my clothes weren't quite in style. My mom, bless her heart, took it upon herself to purchase me two pair of jeans for school. Bell bottoms. Dark Blue. Totally yuck. And I hated them. So everyday at school, while on the playground or at P.E., I would run and slide and try to tear them up in hopes of getting a new pair. And finally, one day, after much sliding, the knees ripped! Yippee, home free. I went home and told mom and showed her my dilemna and was expecting the "lets go get you another pair then" and I could pick out some cool ones.
Didn't happen. Mom took them from me, ironed a patch on each knee, and handed them back. Yes, a terrible blow had been dealt to my self esteem.
This was also about the time Nike tennis shoes became popular. They are nothing now like they were then, but they were the prized possession of the day. Blue nylon looking things with a white check on the side. And I wanted a pair. I guess I bugged mom long enough that we had to drive all the way to the big town eleven miles away to find them. Yep, we left Maberry and went to Mt. Pilot. I can still remember getting them and getting back into our chevrolet caprice station wagon with the wood trim, and looking at those shoes like a prized possession. It could have been a golden trophy. Mom's words still come to me: "You better take care of those. I have never paid $14 for a pair of shoes in my life". For real.
Now the shoe is on the other foot. (pun intended)
I am much older, and though I try to be aware of how I look and what I wear to a certain extent, I don't really care much if its to the approval of others. I wear boots. Cowboy boots mostly. And I wear them all the time if I have pants on. Suits, jeans, slacks...heck, I don't care. I like boots. And in the summer, shorts and sandals only. Its me. Its who I am and it makes me comfortable.
Fortunately, I can afford this stuff now. And my kids get what they want also for the most part. One is eleven years old now and hasn't quite gotten to the point of being aware of what the culture says she should wear. And that's good. One is sixteen, and is thoroughly self conscious about her looks, but not because of what others will think about her, but how she wants to look. She is very comfortable with herself, something I really wasn't at her age. And the self confidence of both of them makes me proud. They don't follow the crowd or the culture or the marketing overall. They totally dislike Hannah Montana clothing. YEAH!
I'm not sure if its harder being a kid now than it was for my generation. In some ways its seems so, in others not. I guess its all relative to the situation. Times seem more complicated, but kids seem cooler. The seem to be more comfortable with who they are. More accepting of others. More into social activities. More concerned with the environment and food drives and "race for cure" activities and saying I love God on their MySpace pages...
More Aware.
Good for them.

Sweet 16

2009-01-22T16:33:00.004-06:00

Sixteen years ago today my life was forever changed. Entering the world was my first child. A daughter. Now I have been scared plenty of times in my life. From getting shot at to car wrecks to fist fights to getting caught doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing.
But nothing, absolutely nothing could prepare me for that day. There are no words to describe the anxiety and fear I was feeling with concern for the birth I was about to be apart of. Oh yes, I got to go into the delivery room of a C section. I hate medical stuff. Seriously. Freaks me out. Mainly because I am not in control and I have to rely on other people. Total trust. I have this problem with God sometimes as well. but back to my story...
So we are in the delivery room and "surgery" starts and I get quizzy. Of course my wife is put under and is being cut with a sharp instrument, but all I can think of is "Oh my God don't let me pass out!". Within a couple of minutes a little nasty looking thing gets lifted into the air (never ever looks like that on the television does it), and a child is born.
I freak out. Is it breathing? I run over and for some wierd reason start counting fingers and toes. Great! they are all there as they should be. Oh my God something is wrong cause they are putting her in a basket! Stop worrying dad, we are only going to weigh her. Oh.
Whats the name dad? Crap - I can't remember. I blurt something out.... It sounded right when it came out so they wrote it on the side of the see thru plastic baby box. I then remembered my wife. They say she is okay too. Good.
I want to throw up. I want to set down. I can't do either. They hand me a baby wrapped up in a blanket with a little pre-mugger stocking cap on its head. I hold my daughter for the first time. Geez she is small. I'm afraid I'll break her. I give her back really quick.

that felt like yesterday.

Today she turns 16. She is a beautiful person. Inside and Out. I can't believe I've been a parent this long. She has two younger sisters that are as endearing as she is, each in their own unique way.

I am going to give her a hard time tonight as we go out to eat for her birthday. Each of them get to pick where to eat for their birthday. Its getting expensive. I am going to be the dorky dad. Its my job to be the dorky dad. Hopefully, one day, someday, she will look back on her life, and these moments together will be as meaningful and special as they are to me.

Happy Birthday Sweet 16.

"I'm Fine with God...It's Christians I Can't Stand"

2009-01-19T20:02:00.003-06:00

Okay, so the title of this post is actually a book I am reading. Of course the title of the book enticed me to buy it, and I'm glad I did. It is written by Bruce Bickel and Stan Jantz, neither of whom I have heard of before.

But it is good. An easy read, nodding your head in agreement page turner. I can see a good study based on this book. It is subtitled, "Getting past the Religious Garbage in the Search for Spiritual Truth".

I think if you read this and see a little of yourself in the pages, then maybe it'll give you pause to think and reflect on just what it means to be a Christian. A real christian. Not the "Norman Rockwell" painting of your mind's eye of what a christian is. Parts are serious, parts are cras, parts are downright funny.

So, if you do nothing else this week. Go buy this book. Or at least go by Barnes and Noble or Books a Million or wherever you like to go, pick the book up, set your butt down and read Chapter 8, pages 135 - 151. I could do my whole study on this one chapter.

Communion for five please...

2009-01-04T09:16:00.003-06:00

After teaching last sunday over evil and chaos, and using the brilliant new Batman The Dark Knight movie scene where Joker is in the interogation room of the police station and Batman is forced by Joker to break one of his rules... and its brilliant... and some people got it and others didn't...

and so goes the church.

Its seems that some people get it while others simply don't, and I struggle on what approach is the best approach to herd them along into a more meaningful and HONEST relationship with Jesus/God. It appears that many are content with mere showing up while others are not. I know that it is a progressive walk and this is one of many steps on that walk, so I'm hesistant to push. I know this because it was part of my walk. In the southern united states, it is a cultural and social thing to do: go to church. Its not really because you are a christian and just love to get up and go worship, its sort of the expected thing, and hopefully, somewhere along the way, something "clicks" in your little head and heart and it becomes meaningful and expressive and relational.

but we have to slow down and be purposeful don't we, and that is very difficult in this society. A society of cell phones and text messages and internet and schedules and deadlines and...

so this thought came to me this morning. To accomodate the busyness of every day life, maybe we should put a drive thru window at the church, like Bon Qui Qui at King Burger, with a menu of what's available and you can order it there (and leave your monetary donation of course).

"Communion for 5 please", I ask over the intercom at the drive thru window. The red LED display confirms my order for 5 communions and flashes a "do this in rememberance of me" quote...

God i hope not. ~npp

The last day of 2008

2008-12-31T13:35:00.002-06:00

I was so busy this morning with my 6am meeting and getting to work where things were already happening that I had forgotten this was the last day of 2008. I mean, I new it was New Year's Eve but it didn't really register that this is the last day I will officially write 2008 on anything.
I've been reflecting on the year and overall its been pretty good. It is hard to believe that it is gone and another starts tomorrow. Of course the older I get the faster they do seem to go. And thinking about this year, I can honestly say its been a positive one for me overall with some bumps in the road.
I have made a lot of new friends through civic functions, this blog, and I am also on Facebook (as my real self and not NPP) for the first time this year. I got to spend a lot of time with my family. Went to Galveston Island before the hurricane hit, went to Boston MA which I enjoyed alot, went to San Antonio Texas and to SeaWorld with the kids (you may remember my post about that little trip), Austin a couple of times where I always visit with my brother-from-a-different-mother Rick Diamond who is pastor of JOURNEY Imperfect Faith Community in Austin Texas www.journeyifc.com. We were blessed with good health overall and enough food and finances, which was more than a lot of folks.
I witnessed a truly historic presidential election which shows how far this country has come in race relations. I got a new senior pastor after my numerous petitions to the Lord and after a long wait in the desert He finally delivered.
It has been a while since I blogged anything but I wanted to do so on this last day of 2008. I felt like I should have at Christmas, but you know what? I actually tried to just slow down and enjoy it and not feel pressued to have to do anything. And it worked for the most part. So I didn't blog. Didn't have anything useful to say.
I have some thoughts for 2009 that I have already jotted down to blog about, so I will start working on those.
Wishing all of you a Great New Year and many of the Lord's Blessings,
~npp

night and day

2008-12-19T14:23:00.002-06:00

i have a new senior pastor. as you recall, the former senior pastor and I had differing opinions on, oh, just about everything that dealt with people and ministry. He left and we got another.

and thank GOD for that. this guy is total opposite of the last guy. humble, mild, personable, not pious, people person. Like i said, total opposite of the last guy was was passive/aggressive, control freak, arrogant and condescending... and some other descriptors i won't put here.

and you can tell it is more than just me. the whole church has a different feel about it now. the staff are actually smiling. people i haven't seen in ages are coming back. their is laughter.

so last saturday night myself and one of the associate pastors take the the 6th grade confirmation class to the Catholic Cathedral to attend a mass service. The new senior pastor goes as well. he went with us as we visited the jewish temple several weeks back. after the "fun" of doing that, we take all the kids to CiCi's pizza to eat...

and the senior pastor looks right at me and says....

"I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to your sunday school class' christmas party". Kinda caught me off guard and I replied, "I didn't know anyone had invited you". Not mean like, just off comment. He responded "well, no one did". So i was honest with him. Told him "well last time we invited a senior pastor to the christmas party - they showed up!" He laughed. He got the joke! wow! i was impressed.

I told him we like to actually enjoy ourselves at our socials and we have some adult drinks and a little wine and lots of great food and he said that was fine with him. Didn't bother him if people drink or not in social settings. So we got into the moderation topic and a whole lot of other stuff, like divorce and forgiveness (we had just come from the Catholic church so guilt came up as well). and i actually enjoyed the visit. Sat there for an hour with them while the kids ate pizza and played video games.

finally. maybe, just maybe, we have a pastor again.

Wisdom from Kung Fu Panda

2008-12-05T16:47:00.003-06:00

Well I got the all clear from my Cardiologist. There is nothing wrong with my heart. Yes, for about two months I was having chest pains and was thoroughly convinced that I was having heart problems and that the doctors were going to crack my chest open and do bypass surgery and I would never be the same again... I had stressed myself out so much about it that it actually made things worse.
Now, to be quiet fair about it, I was under a lot of stress at work and other places anyway, so that brought on the chest pains to start with, but was not the underlying cause.

But for some reason I could not put it in the hands of God (as many suggested) and continued to stress and worry. Not so much about dying over it (well, maybe a little) but leaving behind a family and kids and whatever. I also have "whitecoat syndrome", which is a fear of anyone wearing a white coat who says they are a doctor. Can't stand medical stuff.

When faced with real, scary medical stuff, I crumble. I can't just give it to God and go on. I worry. And I also live in the past at times. If I had done this or married her or said that or went into that occupation. And I stress about the future: How do I afford college for the kids, when can I retire, Will we have enough income, blah blah blah.

So I'm watching "Kung Fu Panda" with my family last week, and in one scene the Kung Fu Master (wise old turtle) says, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called a present". Wow. Such wisdom from an animated movie. And its pretty funny on top of that!

Yes indeed. Today. Its all we are assured of. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow, or heck, even the rest of the day the way some of us drive. And I started appreciating each day even more. And I tried to not worry. And the words of Jesus in Matthew came to mind (Mt. 6:34). "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Sure enough, he knows what he is talking about. It certainly does have enough troubles all its own.

So I am trying to take things more leisurely. And to put the past where it belongs (behind me), the future where it belongs (wherever) and just enjoy the day I have. It'll be hard to do. Harder than writing this post, but I'm giving it my best.
Thanks for listening, today, to this.

something about prayer this week

2008-11-25T15:31:00.002-06:00

I haven't been blogging much lately due to some health issues that came up. though i am not in the clear yet, I am feeling much better. Some of that has to do with some nice little pills the doctor gave me for stress. The other has to do with getting over the lil' viral bug that has been going around

but something else is also in the mix. a little peace of mind. maybe the pills are working or my irrational fears of the uncontrollable are diminishing. Either way, I'll take it.

I noticed something when I was praying about all of this and for others that are going through whatever life is throwing at them: I was always praying to God for Him to be with me. You know, "God be with me as I go through this test" or "God be with _____ as they go through ______". And I did this for a couple of weeks before I realized something: God Is Always With Us!. I know, not much of a revelation, but I was praying for Him to be with me during this or that and it just seemed stupid after I thought about it. I was praying for something that already exists. And I realized I've been doing this my whole life, even in church when I do the closing prayer, "Dear Lord, please watch over us and guide us and keep us..." and He is always watching over us.

So I changed my prayer this week. It now goes something like this: "God, please make me aware of your presence during these times of trouble and stress". I acknowledged that I do not Practice the Presence of God (to steal a book title from Brother Lawrence). I was asking Him to be with me when I needed Him, OR when I felt like I needed him, and was ignoring His presence the rest of the time.

Now I don't ignore that fact all of the time, its just i forget. And I think we all forget at times. Its hard to practice the presence of God at all times. Heck, if we actually did that we would probably not behave as we do at times. hmmmm. So there it is, my revelation of the week. I have been praying for something that I already had. Now I pray for awareness. ~npp

44 Things about the 44th President

2008-11-07T15:50:00.004-06:00

I was tagged by journeyrick at http://becauseisayyes.blogspot.com/ to be a part of something involving writing 44 things about the 44th presidentelect, Barack Obama. After reading his 44 things, I am hard pressed to do anything different. I actually do not know enough about him to list 44 things. There are too many unanswered questions for me, too many unknowns, too many variables at play. I am a bit cycnical by nature, especially when it comes to politicians. Or preachers for that matter. I don't trust folks very deeply becuase most have proven themselves untrustworthy.
For those who know me, and really know me well, there is a certain amount of "wall" that I keep up for defensive/safety reasons. I don't know where that trait came from by I have it. I'm sure some of it is part of my profession, some just me. BUT BUT BUT if you get into my confidence and friendship, I am too loyal. Fiercly. I trust you all the way. And will defend you to the best of my ability. Its hard to get that close, but once you do, its a done deal.
So politicians have a really really really long way to go to gain my trust. Actions speak louder than words.
That said, here are some thoughts on the 44th without trying to repeat what rick said:
1. He inspires by his oration skills.
2. He is to be admired for his accomlishments.
3. America should be congratulated on this milestone from where we have come to where we are.
4. He is statesmen like.
5. I pray for his safety. There are stupid people in this world.
6. I hope he does such a good job he is reelected.
7. I hope he gains the trust and the confidence of the USA.
8. I hope he gains the trust and the confidence of the world.
9. I hope that he is more than his words.
10. He seems to think outside of the established box. That could be good.
11. I think he needs to communicate with our enemies as he proposes. Communication and understanding might solve problems instead of postering. Just don't be too naive about it.
12. I hope he picks the most non-partisan people to help him.
13. I hope his own party doesn't turn on him if he rules as a centrist.
14. I hope the republicans and the media and others do not tear him down constantly as others did Bush.
15. I hope they pray FOR him and not AGAINT him.
16. I hope he makes wise choices for all of the people. He talks it, lets hope he can walk it. So many of the politicians don't.
17. He knows the issues we face. Lets hope there are good answers to solve them.
18. He has brought people together. Lets hope others don't tear that apart.

Thats really about all i got for now. Most of it is HOPE for him and his presidency. I want him to succeed. I would have wanted John McCain to succeed. But I am to wary of the world, and the media, and the partisans to have much faith they will let him, or any president for that matter. He will have his work cut out for him if he is to maintain the image of the campaign.

I am hopefully optimistic for this president. I am pleased that America seems to be past its racial issues. Even if he is not a good president, America has passed a major test of its abilities in regard to people. I think maybe this election says more about the American people than it does Barack Obama. Maybe we should list 44 things about America as well.

A Wish

2008-11-04T21:04:00.001-06:00

"For all things hoped for, and nothing feared for".

another political season comes and goes

2008-10-31T11:13:00.004-05:00

I was watching a young friend's facebook yesterday and she was excited that she was going to vote for the very first time. And she makes it very clear that she is a fan of Barak Obama. I remember my first time to vote and how excited I was about it. I am not so excited this time.

The bulk of the comments were from her friends, both sides of the political spectrum, who were saying this or that about her choice of candidate and she became very defensive, very fast. And the name calling and labeling began. Stupid Republicans, dumb democrats, sarcasm, the country will go to hell if you elect so and so... and I just sighed.

I wanted to tell them that this stuff has been going on since I first voted. The claims that if you vote for the democrats the country will go to hell and if you vote for the republicans they will starve little children. I wanted to tell them that the personal attacks and fear mongering from both the left and the right means nothing. I wanted to tell them that in my lifetime, both parties have held all the power (executive and legislative) at some point and we are all still here. I wanted to tell them, but I didn't. I think this is something they may have to find out for themselves.

In my spiritual growth over the last decade, I have learned a few things. Democrats are not evil. Republicans are not always right. That if you vote out of some misguided party loyalty, then you are doing yourself and your country a disservice. I have learned that liberals and conservatives and moderates and independents all have something to say. I have learned I don't have to agree with any of them. I have learned to value all of them. I have learned to "agree to disagree". I have learned that if you honestly believe a certain thing and can back it up, you should vote your beliefs. YOUR BELIEFS. Not something someone else has taught you. Something you have come to believe yourself out of your walk. It is important. It is powerful. It might make a difference.

I wanted to tell them that neither party is going to solve any of the problems we face. They are not interested in that. They both have agendas and power trips that they are fueling and feeding. Meanwhile, the issues we face are still present. Poverty, terrorism, the economy, health care, crime, life, whatever. And four years from now they will still be present. But no one will remember the promises that were made. No one will hold them accountable.

Don't get me wrong, I do have my own convictions, beliefs, theories, preferences. I think there are certain things that are right and certain things that are wrong, certain policy approaches that are better than others, and I will vote that way. But not because I think one party or one person is going to descend from the heavens and establish Utopia on earth, but because I feel that is the right thing for me and my country. Jesus tells us in Matthew that the poor will always be among us, and that is true. He also says whatever you do for the least of these... So we have our work cut out for us. We need a sense of balance. We need statesmen who will stand on principle. We need a government "of they people, by the people and for the people".

Hopefully the fear mongers and haters and nasty pundits will go away for another four years so we can get back to doing what is important: Loving one another.

Now go vote.

"dad, you are soooooo shallow"

2008-10-16T20:59:00.002-05:00

These are the words spoken to me by my oldest daughter at dinner. She doesn't know I'm the wise nonprofitprophet. To her, I am just dad. And one of my jobs of being "just dad" is to annoy her.
My daughter is 15. She is very beautiful, both inside and outside. Both her mother and I wish we could have been more like her at that age. She is very confident and comfortable with who she is. I was miles away from that at 15.
So she has a boyfried. Okay, she is into recycling because this boyfriend was her original boyfriend from 8th grade. They broke up, she got another boyfriend, they broke up, now she's back with the original. Like I said, recycling.
And we are eating dinner and she tells us that another girl friend of hers from youth told her that one of the boys at youth really liked her... and the story goes on. I hear said boys name. Said boy comes from wealthy family so being my typical dad self, I say "what's wrong with that boy". And she just looks at me. I say, "hey, have you seen his grandparents checkbook?" and something to the effect that you can love rich people just as easy as anyone.
She just looks at me. Yep, that look you are imagining is the exact one. Like "what are you saying too me?" look. And she utters the words: "You are so shallow".
Of course, I say "what?" like a good dorky clueless dad should do to his teenage daughter and she just huffs and says something.
Secretely however, I am very pleased on the inside. Somehow, somewhere along the way, she has learned that money isn't everything. To follow your heart is important and not to like someone because of status. She hates labels and mean people as well. Just like her dad. And I like to think I had a little part to play in that. You know, as much as a dorky uncool shallow dad can.

paths

2008-10-16T16:40:00.002-05:00

It has really been busy and stressful for me the past several weeks. I quit a job a long time ago for many reasons, one of them being too darn stressful. For some of you who know me, I have stuggled for about a decade (and if I had been listening better probably my whole life) a calling to ministry. Its not something you really want to happen to you. I mean, you don't wake up one day and say, "Hey, I think I want to be a minister!". Who would want that. Good grief.
So I try this occupation or that job and it seems to work for a while, and then this little, uh, i don't know, pestersome feeling nags at you ... kind of taunting actually. "so you thought this would fill that void I created?"... etc.
and its frustrating. i am getting too damn old to change occupations. i actually did the official process in my denomination twice, got hired once, but had to turn down the position because, can you believe this, they lied about the salary. Some very wise pastor friends of mine gave me great advice, and i declined. Truthfully they told me the church would starve you if they could. Kinda crazy I know, but it was true. They also said you had to have the calling and you would know it. Well I do and I know it. What to do is the problem.
I live each day wanting the best I can get out of it. Doing something I am passionate about. And guess what? Its ministry. I envy those folks with jobs that don't feel like jobs. They say they love what they do and it doesn't feel like work. That'd be great.
so I ask God each day to just either help me get through this day or show me a path to take. it isn't always easy. sometimes I think god is waiting on me to get over whatever it is. leap of faith? trust? timing? who knows.
whatever it is, its frustrating.

made for work?

2008-10-09T21:12:00.002-05:00

I found myself the other day listening to a preacher who said that "we are made for work". I don't exactly recall how he backed this up, but his premise was that God made us for work. We were designed for certain functions, gifted in various ways, made for work. I guess being responsible, productive citizens was a large part of it as well. And casually listening I guess it sounded okay.
But for some reason it has stuck in my head, we are made to work, and I can't let it go. Are we made to work? Really? The more I thought about this the less sense it made to me. I guess God raises certain people up for what the moment calls for, like Churchill in WWII, Ghandi in India, and others... But is this what we were really intended/made for?
So I go back to the creation story. I play back the creation of man/adam and woman/eve and the garden scene and walking together, and I just can't see where one would gather that "we were made to work". It seems too me that we were made for relationship. God created us. God cherishes time with us. Just because we screwed it up doesn't change the intent of why we were created. I didn't create my kids because I wanted them to work, or get a profession, or whatever. They are created to be in relationship with their Father/Parent. Yes, they will work, but thats not why we are here.
I don't really know why this is bothering me so much. Maybe its because I am understanding that this, this life we live, is not what God intended at all. We are tied to systems and cultures that expect this or that and we dutifully comply with in order to survive the nightmare we created. And it didn't have to be this way. It could have been so much more. It could have been what God intended for it to be. And that makes me sad.
But man has created these systems for himself. To accomplish things himself. To put himself in a system where he can measure his worth. Where he can measure others worth. And sometimes we just don't measure up.
I wonder what God thinks of all this? And the older I get the less I think of it. God is working something within me all the time, its just hard to hear what it is. I get the impression, however, that he is trying to instill in me another way to view work. Possibly as a calling. To shed the old definition of work as a means to survive, or whoring out for a paycheck as I like to say. And work toward being a positive influence or helping others, not just to make money. But that goes against our system we have created doesn't it.
Created for work? I think not. Do a good work? maybe so if its relational centered. I'll have to give this some more thought.

God of Wonders

2008-10-01T16:15:00.004-05:00

This week has been busy. Really busy. With work and life and sick kids and stuff to do, you just get overwhelmed with it all. And on two separate occasions this week I have looked up to the heavens and saw the awesome wonder of God's expansive creation, and it brings me a temporary peacefulness. One was late at night when returning home from a meeting and the other was early this morning before 6 a.m. There is a certain crispness to the air, a clearness of the stars, and a fall-like coolness that seems to awaken something deep inside that says to me that I am part of a great and ever developing creation, an ongoing love song from God. And, well, the lines of the song "God of Wonders" echoes within me. And I catch myself singing the words of the song, rising from somewhere inside, to voice my adoration of it all. I have placed most of the words here for you.

Lord of all creation
Of water, earth, and sky
The heavens are Your tabernacle
Glory to the Lord on High

God of wonders, beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe declares Your majesty
You are holy, holy

Early in the morning
I will celebrate the light
And as I stumble through the darkness
I will call Your name by night.

This is my 100th post on this blog. And it seems like a significant moment. In relation to it all, I am still humbled to try to understand that I am significant to God. Me, an ever so small being, whose time will be measured by years, which are but a blip on this current we call time which exists in the great unfolding universe.

Go outside. Look up into the heavens, and marvel.

God of Wonders.

Cigarettes, Soda Water and Jesus

2008-09-19T14:25:00.006-05:00

I grew up in the 1970s basically. Those early formative years before reaching puberty and being distracted by girls wearing jordache jeans and coming into their womanness. It was a time of playful innocence, where awareness of things of the adult world had not yet raised its ugly head, and we were allowed to explore the limitless adventures our young minds could conjure up. Cowboys and Indians and Army and Bonnie and Clyde (I will not mention who was forced to play bonnie some times due to the lack of any girls in our group!). Little did I know of the world of sex, drugs and anti-war sentiment. For me, it was Sesame Street and Captain Kangaroo and Saturday Morning cartoons. It was 3 channels on a TV with a manual dial. Life was good.

And in the summers, I would be transported into another country for a week or so at a time to visit my grandparents on my mothers side. They lived in Southeastern Oklahoma and this, though only a few hours away from my little town, seemed like an entirely different universe. And they were poor, but I didn't know it. As a kid, I never really noticed that some people lived in big houses and some didn't. Some lived in brick homes while some lived in trailer houses. And I was family and friends with them all. My grandparents lived in a four room house. Literally. If you take a perfectly square box and divided it equally into four parts, that's the house. And you can see each room from the other room by leaning this way or that.

My grandfather was German and my grandmother Native American. We don't know which tribe due to records being burned up in a fire of some sort. But if you look at her photograph, she looks just like Geronimo, but with boobs.

And grandfather was an alcoholic. Not a mean one but one nevertheless. He amused us as kids, with his wisp of white hair piled up on his head, he was a sight to behold. He was a logger in his early days and a tree fell on him. He walked with a cane the whole time I knew him and drew a disability check from the government. And they always had the best butter, cheese, peanut butter and honey. I didn't know that it was food subsidies. It tasted great and they always let us have all we wanted.

And he drank and cursed the whole time I knew him. And I didn't care. He and I would wait inside the house as my parents left, watching through the screen door their Chevrolet Caprice station wagon with the wood grain sides traveling down the limestone road, creating a dust trail that wouldn't settle for hours, and he would tell me to get me and him a beer. He drank Miller High Life in the bottle and man they were cold. He would then roll a Prince Albert cigarette, and then feign he couldn't get it to light. So he would have me light it for him then go ahead and smoke it with my beer. Man, that stuff was so tasty to a 10 year old, and it was our little secret, our little rebellion against the good wishes of my parents. And I loved it.

One day he ran out of beer, wine and whiskey, so he asked me and my cousin of the same age if we wanted to "go to town". Going to town in those days was a big deal because Grandad rarely left the forty acres he lived on. We loaded up in his old ford pickup and headed down the dirt roads to town, where he would buy us a "sody water" and a snack. City boy me would always ask for a Coke and a Snicker Bar, while my Oklahoma cousins would opt for a Orange Pop and a Moon Pie. And of course we would have to eat and drink it at the gas station so we could leave the bottle and not have to pay the deposit!

and somehow, we ended up at the liquor store. Now me and my cousin didn't know it was a liquor store, as grandad told us he was going in to see his girlfriend and get us some Arkansas Soda Pop, which sounded pretty good to me. He returned with two huge bottles of what can only be described as the best tasting grape juice that had to that point touched my lips. Now grandad made us drive back home while he sat on the passenger side and drank. Okay, he didn't really make us, we eagerly agreed to his arrangement. Anything to get to set up on the Sears Catalog and shift that 3 speed on the column. While one of us drove, the other drank. Then we switched places. I can't tell you how many peanut crops were ruined that day, but I'm sure somewhere there was one unhappy farmer.

Luckily, we made it back. Glory hallelujah. I went into the bedroom and fell out under the swamp fan on the bed and passed smooth out. As luck would have it, mom and dad returned a few hours later and found us all passed out. Jesus, the stuff hit the fan and off we go, me in the rear of the station wagon, bouncing around the back roads of Oklahoma, sticking my head out to rid myself of the contents of my stomach.

I'm not sure mom ever forgave him for that. I still can't believe we survived that and many other episodes. Every visit after that, I noticed that mom would make us go to the little baptist church that was close to granddad's place on Sunday morning, even though we didn't know anyone there. I would listen to the old time preacher screaming about sin, and I would think he had me and grandad pegged. And the best part is that the pulpit had a box in it, like a diorama box, with a three dimensional Jesus in it that would stare holes through me, no matter where I was setting. It was kind of creepy. Did Jesus know about the cigarettes? the beer? the Arkansas soda water? I'm sure he did.

I miss those moments. They come and go in an instant. Those experiences that are "once in a lifetime". Those people who loved you in their own way are also gone. And I miss them deeply. But I have those memories, memories of cigarettes, soda water and Jesus.

whatever you do for the least of these...

2008-09-13T09:45:00.004-05:00

My last post was about going to a "Leadership" retreat for two days and, of course, I was a little apprehensive about it. I'm really not exactly sure why, but there are certain categories of folks I just don't feel comfortable around.

One of those categories is Superficial. I don't really care for superficialness or casual conversation about the weather or politics or designer clothes or cost of gas. I can talk about it with folks, but its boring. Those topics to me are just facts of life that you deal with and not get you down. There are enough worries for the day, so why focus on the trivial.

And I was wondering what God had planned for me on this path, this retreat, this spending exclusive time with what I feared would be superficial. You know, how to be a good leader according to worldly standards, making business contacts, which fork to use, blah blah blah. None of this I care about. So I was wondering what on earth I was doing signing up for this and participating outside of my comfort zone.

God has a sense of humbling someone just at the right time, doesn't he.

It was a reminder to the nonprofitprophet to not prejudge people. It was a reminder that all people, no matter their walk, socio-economic status, gender, ethnicity, position, whatever, have their own story. Their own crap they carry with them. Their share of burdens and concerns and life experiences that they bring with them to their daily walks. That no matter what we look like, or the appearance we wish to display to the world, there is an inner person, a soul, that is aching and seeking something larger. God. A community. A fellowship. An understanding. Someone to say, "hey, you are not alone in this mess!".

and I was glad I went. It was similar to my Emmaus Walk experience in a sense. It was an exercise in trust building. This group of 35 folks opened up in ways I never imagined would happen. People with addictions, breast cancer, alcoholic families, homelessness, poverty, welfare moms, race issues, expressing themselves and where they have been and where they are today.

And a common thread emerged throughout the weekend. Its not all about me! I was shocked. Many spoke of when they realized life is not about them. It was like listening to people talk about when they got saved. Some had a date and time moment. Some have a lifelong experience with this. Some stories had the tissues passing around. And we all have a desire to give back to the community, the world, in some fashion. So this experience, program, dare say fellowship, is helping each person explore ways that they can do this.

and I was wrong. Its not superficial. It was real. Very real. And I was glad I was wrong. And I am glad I am a part of this. It is the hands and feet of Jesus at work (okay, there is one Muslim in the group that bunked with me so I guess I need to include God/Allah in there as well) because, despite the perceived differences that I had assumed seperate us, I learned, no, was reminded that there are more things that bring us together. And to know that others have recognized a broken and hurting world gave me hope. And perhaps, a renewed sense of goodness in people.

So I am humbled and reminded by an awesome God that we are all children, stumbling our way through this world. And sometimes, when least expected, one of them well reach down and help you up when you stumble.

Whatever you do for the least of these my brothers, you do it to me. Matthew 25:40

Leadership

2008-09-11T07:03:00.005-05:00

Today I leave for a 2 day retreat. Its not a spiritual retreat. Its a Leadership retreat. In certain cities, large or small, there are organizations which call themselves "Leadership (fill in the blank your city name)", and is affiliated with civic, government, nonprofit, and the business community, to promote leadership and future leaders in the areas listed above. Its about giving back to the community, being a civic leader, and, uh, I imagine networking overall.
And somehow I got accepted. You actually have to fill out a 3 page essay and go before an interview board comprised of former Leadership CITY class members. Each class has its own number, like Leadership CITY Class of 12 or whatever. And their is an alumni association and on and on. Regardless, I passed and was accepted.
and why am I posting this? I'm not sure.
I think its because this is so out of my comfort zone. I don't really know what God is up too with this because its something I would normally make fun of, poke fun at, sort of like I do with Junior League stuff sometimes. Not that they don't do good stuff, its just how they do it I make fun of. But hey, at least they are doing something. So what is God up too? Is this another door I am going through that will lead to something else? Has it got anything to do with me or maybe I'm supposed to affect someone else on their walk. You never know.
So off I go with 34 other people to a ranch where they have hired a chef to cook and we get to work on this and that. Should be interesting - for them or me at least. I can be quite entertaining when I feel like it.
So I shall see you fellow bloggers and readers later.

for those who have ears...

2008-09-05T15:26:00.003-05:00

I have always found that bit of scripture a little weird. I know what Jesus was saying, it just sounds weird to me. I get a mental image of someone with and without ears and its just unsettling.

And I wonder, do we actually see or hear what we think we see or hear?

I have read a few blogs today, a few news articles, and listened to a few reports via radio about both conventions. And I wonder, "what were those people listening too" when they talk about what they saw and heard? Because what they saw and heard is different than what I saw and heard. I have friends on both ends of the political spectrum and I can ask them what they thought about X's speech, and they give me two completely different responses. Now I know the speech they heard wasn't altered in any form or fashion - so they both heard the same words and got two totally different things from it.

For the first time in my life, I actually watched both conventions. Not out of nothing else to do, but because I was not thrilled with either party nor their candidates, and I really wanted to hear what they were proposing. The Democrats had control of congress for 40 years and the white house off and on during that time, and did absolutely nothing that they say they want to do now, which begs the question "why didn't you do any of it when you had the chance?". So the Republicans promise that they will change politics as we know it if they can just get control of the white house and congress, and it happened. And then they acted just like the democrats before them. And the American people were once more left out to suffer.

So I am approaching this as a clean slate. They both sucked in the past in their own egotistical, selfish, and power hungry ways. And I heard John McCain say that during his speech. He blamed both parties for their failures. I did not hear that from the other side. I do hear both saying they are the agent of change. Am I seeing and hearing what I think I am?

My theory is people are going to see and hear what they are predisposed to think about one side or the other. So those listening to hear how the democrats/republicans are going to save the world because they are so much better will hear that. Those listening to hear how the democrats/republicans are going to ruin the world will hear that. Because the same words are being heard by different audiences and what each person hears (based upon their own notions of how things should be) is what they believe the other party is saying.

And for the first time in a long time, I think the swing voting, truly independant people will decide this election. Because maybe, just maybe, they are the only ones who can truly listen. For those who have ears...

so bad we called in the national guard

2008-09-02T14:42:00.003-05:00

In my area of this tiny planet a big ol' nasty hurricane named Gustav came blowin' and howlin' up through the gulf of mexico threatening to knock down anything and everything in its path. As a species, we learned a lot from Katrina and Rita and were much better prepared this time. Evacuations were quick and effective, relief areas were set up and transportation was no issue.
and the National Guard were deployed effectively and early.
and they set up shop in my church. Yep.
so i get the call saturday night that we were expecting 80-85 national guardsmen who were setting up opps from my church and were going to be using various rooms to muster in, sleep in and whatever else they do.
So sunday morning they are everywhere. and it was cool watching them give selflishly as their country called on them, even though i knew many of them probably had families of their own to take care of, but were instead protecting and assisting all of our families.
so we made coffee for them and tried best we could to make them as "at home" as possible.
another class had no room so they joined with us, giving a total of 42 folks in our room. it was kind of fun to have that many folks discussing the topic. And I wasn't teaching, which was even better, and the guy who volunteered was shocked when he walked in the room! I told him everyone heard I wasn't teaching so they showed up.
and the senior pastor had his last day before moving on to ruin another church. some of the class folks went to see him off, the others said they went to make sure he left. either way, its all good.
but before he left, he had to send out a bye bye letter. he thanks this person or that person and this group or that group for whatever reason, then he added "and the little groups in the church with axes to grind who find themselves the center of the universe". I got 2 calls that evening from folks laughing and saying "Hey, isn't that you and your little group!". Oh the joy of notariety.
So on his last day, the National Guard is here, my center of the universe class has 42 folks in it, and he is getting sent to the eye of the hurricane area where devastation is expected... Metaphor?

my thoughts on current politics

2008-08-27T13:04:00.003-05:00

I am perplexed.

Donald Miller gave a decent prayer at the DNC. I was suprised by sanctity of life comment given the audience. Admittedly, in political arenas and policy matters, I am conservative. Regarding social issues I am a bit more moderate, to a point.
Oh yeah, and I love "Blue Like Jazz".

First off, I found it odd that there would even be a prayer/benediction that addressed a God, especially a Father God. The ACLU Liberal Wing has found its home in the DNC and are consistently pushing the anti-god agenda in all public arenas, and scream "separation of church and state" out of context to the reality of where that clause is located and its intent.

Then he goes on to invoke poor folks and fatherless children and single moms and corporate greed. Was he pandering? Does he feel this is the only political party that addresses these issues? Would he feel comfortable giving the same prayer at the RNC if asked? Does he really think that any party really cares or is the answer?

Now admittedly, the RNC would probably ask a more evangelical type like billy graham or rick warren in the first place. Cameron Strange is a cool guy and a great editor of Relevant Magazine (of which I read and was an original subscriber) was an odd choice anyway.

I guess i really felt that maybe this new emerging church movement would not be taking political sides and would, instead, be focusing on solutions and holding both parties accountable. Because neither one has delivered on their promises and people are still hurting while the bureaucracy moves right along.

If, somehow, this is going to turn out to be the other end of the spectrum, you know opposite of the religous right, i.e., the religious left, its not going to be helpful.

It is difficult for me to digest that anyone proclaiming the good news of the gospel would put their faith in a political party as some sort of solution. The religious right did it with the Republican Party and it got christianity nowhere really.

Can we quit throwing the stones? I am hoping we are bigger than that.

The Shack by William P Young

2008-08-24T20:57:00.003-05:00

I have just finished the book titled "The Shack" by William P Young.(www.theshackbook.com)
Now I can't tell you much about the author. He was unknown to me before reading this book, but apparently was not unknown to God as it is evident that some message is being spoken here, through this fiction, that isn't fiction. I won't tell you about the books content because that will ruin it for you. I can tell you its worth hours of your time.

Originally my best friend Ricky D called me and said "you have got to read this book" and delved off into its content and coolness and read me an excerpt over the phone. Now Ricky D is one of the most interesting thinkers of modern jesus stuff I know, and is always reading this or that and getting entangled in something or the other. I, however, can't keep up with him for the most part and have to selectively figure out which book to read or movie to watch. But in less than a week, our associate pastor came up to me and asked, "Hey, have you read The Shack?"...

so okay, I get the message. No, not The Message bible, the message from the Holy Spirit or God or whatever it is that reinforces that you should do something. So I buy it. First my spouse gets it and is completely enthralled in the content. This is fascinating because she typically doesn't read much and especially theological/spiritual/christian dominated stuff. But she read it all quickly and liked it.

Back to my opening paragraph. I just got through with it. And though it wasn't a total eye-opener in my terms of how and what I see Christianity as being, it was presented in a way that evoked emotional responses from me. This guy Young has some really good insights on the nature and interactions of man and god. Parts of the story forced me to deal with some of my own stuff, reminded me of segments of my own spiritual journey dealing with tragedy and understanding and anger at God and questioning... and the list goes on.

So, if you have the time, I would recommend "The Shack". Go to WalMart or Sams or wherever and get a copy. Its under $10 bucks. Do it today after work. Go soak in a hot bath and start reading. The first part is hard to get through - but totally worth it. Kind of like life. ~npp

clean or used

2008-08-18T15:51:00.002-05:00

I used to sell books on ebay. I had a ton of them. Everything from college books left over to novels to non-fiction to whatever... I had too much. So a friend told me about half.com, part of ebay, and I would list the books there and sell them around the country, and pocket a little money.
This book selling thing had guidelines on how to judge the condition of the book. A "like new" copy would have no writings, cover in great shape and show no wear/ useage. It would be, for all appearances, new, hence, desireable and bring more money. Then the categories and values decreased from there. This many writings in it or highlights or notes or worn cover or messed up binder or whatever. The more visible usage, the less value it commanded. So for a long time, I would read a book, being careful not to hurt the dustcover or bend the binder and never, ever write in it. It would look as good as new when I was finished with it, and I could get a good amount of money for it.
But as time has passed, I no longer find value in "like new" condition. I like to see a book thats been appreciated, read, writings in it. Some highlights for emphasis. I will now underline those points I find interesting in my books... will make little notes to the side of what my response to a certain statement was. And I keep those books. Years later to pick them up, reread, and enjoy my thoughts for the moment.
And sometimes, I see people like this. I think I used to judge people like I did a book. If they looked clean, had no visible wear and tear, no rough edges, no "highlights"!, then they must be "like new". Valuable. Desireable. You know, clean cut, nice suit, polished appearance.... kind of like a pharmaceutical sales rep or executive of some sort. My hometown banker always looked like that. But over time, I have developed a fondness for the used books. I like the way they feel, their binders giving just a bit to the pressure I put on it. Maybe a few wrinkled pages from some earmarking, noting something interesting has happened here. They take on a character all their own and seem to gain in a value something can only receive from being used.
and I wonder.
I wonder if that's how God sees us. Does he see us as valuable if we are neat and presentable and have that "like new" appearance? Many I see dressed up in their "Sunday Best" give me this impression. Its like showing off for God. Maybe he'll thing more of us if we look presentable! But I really don't think so. I think that God sees us more like a used book. Something that has been handled, a little rough around the edge, maybe an earmark here or there or some lines have been drawn under the words for emphasis. Maybe he sees our worn cover and bent binder and understands that we have been bent this way or maybe not handled with care sometimes. And all this God sees, and God enjoys, because we, like a good used book, have gained in value to Him, because we have allowed ourselves to be used.
I hope someone picks me up one day, thumbs through my worn and written in pages, and finds some comfort, and value, there.

Is Church It?

2008-08-08T16:08:00.003-05:00

Saying Goodbye to Guilt Ridden Christianity http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7550
was the topic sunday morning. If you go to the link and read it, it pretty much boils down to the motivation of why you are doing what you do.

Are you motivated by a passion for Jesus Christ? God? Your own ego? Are you motivated by guilt? Guilty that you should attend weekly services or guilty that you should either tithe or tithe more? Guilty that you are asked to be on a committee or other such venue and you really don't want to and you say "yes" anyway because you feel bad telling people, especially church people, no?

So this was the topic and it was a good discussion. From the discussion came the following. There are two stages we christians/church goers experience:
1. Churchyness - Encompassing doing all the stuff that falls within expected social norms: attendance, tithing, serving, whatever. Stuff that has to be done for the organization to accomplish its goals/mission. I fondly dubbed it "trying to DO IT right!". Meaning, doing church right.
2. Spiritualness - This I dubbed "trying to GET IT right!" meaning that at some point your motivation changes. Your awareness changes. The process of church may not do it for you anymore. You are aware that, as the old saying goes, "going to church makes you no more a christian than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger". You actually have to live the christian faith, not just take part in its process. Get your spritual side in shape!

I also think many people are stuck in #1, either blissfully or just unaware that there is more. Not everyone mind you, but more than one thinks. So my thought is - is church attendance more important than feeding the poor? obviously not. But do we feel personally guilty for not going out to feed the poor? Many do not. Because we are part of a larger organization that we give money too and "they" (whoever they are) go out and do that stuff. We donate fans in the summer, blankets in the winter, food all year long, and someone else distributes those needed items. Its christianity from a safe distance.

But many think of christianity and church attendance/service as synonomous. And it is not. You are a good christian because..... "He is always in church". "She is always serving on committees". "He teaches sunday school". "She is always dressed nice and so are her children". But why?

If your answer is "because I have a passion for people and God has called me too serve in this capacity" then you are coming from a place of positive motivation. If your answer is "because I feel like I have to" or "I just couldn't say no" then that is not a healty place of motivation.

Even worse, however, would be this answer. "I do not know, I guess its just expected" or "because I was brought up that way and I am bringing up my kids that way". If church has become a social norm for you then please, reconsider what you are doing and why you are doing it. In the new testament, Jesus wasn't really all that concerned overall with the processes or then social norms of the day. He knew them.. as a boy he participated in them... but he always challenged them. He always put them in the proper place, which was beneath the needs of the people. People always had more value than rules and processes to Jesus. Still do.

So, say Goodbye to Guilt Ridden Christianity. Say Hello to passionate service. Oh yeah, and how do I come to these conclusions? I was in stage one for oh, so long.

my years of wandering in the desert are over

2008-08-03T18:21:00.004-05:00

Five years ago the United Methodist Church felt it necessary to send a narcissistic, passive/aggressive manipulative control freak to my church as senior pastor. Now I am not one of those folks that can't get along with clergy. Good lord. I have known pastors for 40 years in the UMC and other places, and have gotten along, dare say are friends of most of them. But this guy, hmmmmm...
Shortly after arriving, this PhD. Titled Senior Pastor began alienating everyone around him in his quest to "straighten this church out" and membership and activity plummeted.
Now, as you can surmise either from earlier writings or just if you know me, I could not set by quietly as this guy ran everyone off and ruined what spiritualness was there. Now to be fair, he didn't run "everyone" off. About five people rallied around him and his authoritarian management style and took over the church, in a manner of speaking. Of course, I noticed that they tended to possess the same character qualities. Many others simply refused to fight, preferring "nicety and civility" and stood idly by as it became a mere ember of its former flame. This made me even angrier. I recall Revelations, "I would rather you run hot or run cold. But this lukewarm is going to cause me to spew (read vomit) you from my mouth".
Now, if a church is on the wrong track and a pastor has been tasked by God to make it shake up and ship out and get too moving, then that's OKAY with ME!!! Who am I to argue with God? But let me assure you, this was not the case.
So each year in May I have prayed that he would get reappointed by the Annual Conference, and each year nothing. So this past May came and went and I resigned myself that the UMC is actually trying to commit a form of membership suicide if this was the best they could do.
So today, I go to teach my little group and first thing I hear is that "the Senior pastor is being moved to...". My heart skipped a beat. I felt like Moses looking at the promised land. My wandering in the desert has come to an end.
Then I thought about it. This guy just lost his father this week in hospice. His daughter has registered for college here. His son is due to start his sophomore year in three weeks, and now the official UMC has decided to move him. And I don't really think its fair to his family.
of course, my grandfather always told me "never look a gift horse in the mouth".

so....

we donated $75 to help in the moving expenses.

blessed be the name of the lord!

I sometimes miss childhood

2008-07-31T15:40:00.002-05:00

If you are like me, you now have a greater appreciation for what your parents pulled off in raising you. I never knew there was x amount of money or bill deadlines or adult crap that stresses you out when I was a kid. I was fortunate. I was allowed to be a kid. I grew up in little town texas, with lightening bugs at night and playing tag in the yard. Hours on end hanging out with my friends just playing.
Playing. That seems to be a concept that is lost to us adults. I would ride my bicycle forhours all over the place, march through fields and forests with my bb gun, or go riding dirt bikes down trails. And I mean all day long. Not 30 minutes here or there. All day! My mom would have to yell for us to come in the house in the evening.
Times they are a changing. I long for those days when these big decisions were someone elses and all I was responsible for was playing. But alas, I have arrived at the world of adults. Where following rules and deadlines and profits and power plays are the rule of the day.
one of my favorite quotes is from the movie Luther.
"When I was a child,
I thought like a child, I was a child,
I played like a child.
And now, thanks to the adults,
I've had to join
the world of adults.
And I am appalled..."
It seems we could do better as adults at being more childlike. Whats the busyness all about anyway? making another dollar? getting the latest pair of jeans? trying to raise our kids perfectly and smothering them to death? not letting them be kids?
buying them everything the world says they need? I am amazed at how many 10 year olds have cell phones and text messaging and video games and dance classes and ... the list is exhaustive.
And as a kid, my relationship with God was simpler. A child like faith is spoken of in scripture. I think Jesus likes us coming to him in a childlike manner. Eyes wide open and trusting. That seems like an impossibility in the adult world with its own set of rules and demands.
I sometimes miss childhood.

the lesson today is...

2008-07-20T09:07:00.005-05:00

I am discussing today with my little fellowship group an interview with Eugene Peterson, the author of "The Message" bible. In the interview, he is discussing what prayer is and our idea of how to pray correctly, and why this culture is so "enamored with knowledge" and is afraid of mystery.
The short version?: prayer isn't something you do, it is continual relationship with God. He recalls as a kid asking a missionary "how do you pray" and the missionary responded, "I haven't prayed in 40 years". This really impacted him years later, when he realized that the missionary was living a kind of spiritualness that kept him in continual relationship with God. A "pray without ceasing" concept like Paul talks about.
Peterson also contends that this current culture resists the mystery of it all, because it is much harder to live a spiritual life than not. Not really a discipline of sorts (though if a discipline helps you on your daily spiritual walk then that is good), but a continual relationship with God and the mystery of life that surrounds us every day.
And I was thinking about this and have come to some conclusions:
1. I have difficulty living the secular life.
2. I think others do as well.
3. Its not because we are any better than others, but there is something that will not allow us to be comfortable with what the world has to offer, what it is selling. That makes us restless.
Now, for those who are not this way, I would think life is easier. Less complicated. I would not say Life is Better for them, just cleaner. No messy spiritual stuff to clutter up a cookie cutter existence. Makes getting up and consuming whatever the world has set before you easier. Whether it is money or hobbies or vices or whatever your distraction of choice may be. Your distraction may even be the church.
So go ahead. The devil is counting on it. Tune in to the noise of the world. Get enveloped in its business. You will not have time for God.

whats with this hatred of Christians?

2008-07-10T15:54:00.002-05:00

Today I've been working and goofing off a bit as well. Somehow I got off on a yahoo chatroom about religion (yeah, go figure) and I never really get on those forums. But some reason it caught my eye so I said what the hell (not literally), I'll give it a whirl.
It was amazing too me how many people do not like christianity on these things. They literally go to name calling and labeling and foulness. There were a few on there that would discuss in a normal discourse the topic, and they were kind of fun. But overall, there is a hatred of christians and a dissing of God. Of course for the most part they were picking out wierd stuff from the Old Testament (I don't think any of them actually quoted anything about Jesus from the New Testament) and how God was this or that and people who believed the bible were that and this. Basically saying its all a bunch of crap and people who believe it are stupid.
I saw the same type of stuff yesterday about Intelligent Design after the Governor in Louisiana mentioned it on some show. Good for him. The blog-o-sphere went crazy over that, calling ID unscientific and there position (big bang) plausible and using all sorts of cras labels and language to describe the governor. Of course, they loose me there because it is much easier to believe in ID than "oops just happened" but whatever.
Now my question is this: If they believe that God doesn't exist, uh, why do they spend so much time denouncing it and trying to prove that it doesn't? I mean really, I don't believe in the Easter Bunny but I don't go around bashing those who do or making fun of his ears. So why the hatred? Why do you hate something so much that you don't even believe in to start with?
If there is no God - then what do you care what others think? Does the message of Jesus upset you so that you want to throw fits and insults? Yeah, I can see that. Love one another. Love thy enemy. Blessed are the peacemakers. Big Time Threatening stuff. Has spawned much misery, with all the relief aid being sent to disaster areas, red cross, salvation army, food pantries, missions... i could go on and on with the stuff christians are doing in the name of Jesus.
I know! Why don't we form an organization so we can put a stop to all of this nonsense. Teaching kids right from wrong and 10 little basic rules like not killing each other, not to steal from each other and respecting their parents, just where do we get off doing this? This has to end....
huh? whats that? oh sorry, just informed there already is some organization doing that. ACLU.
Well good for them. We need to end this practice of teaching good stuff and making the world a better place. Cause heck, if its good enough for the easter bunny, its good enough for me!

disconnect

2008-07-08T08:14:00.002-05:00

Do you ever feel disconnected? I am feeling that way today. Well, I'm expressing it today, but I feel like that alot.

I feel disconnected from God, my spouse, occupation... just life in particular. Okay, I'm not usually so much drama. I am usually on target and tuned in and on step and whatever term describes on my game. I think this is why I recognize that I'm off somehow. I am not doing my devotionals. I haven't made time for God. I have spent a lot, and I mean A LOT of time with my family lately and that hasn't helped bring down this wall that has gotten between us. I have been traveling and going and doing and ... I just got exhausted.

I haven't spent my energies on getting myself healthy. Been doing too much for the sake of whatever. Relationships, entertainment, my own ego, you fill in the gap.
Pink Floyd (the music group) has a song "comfortably numb" that resonates with me alot. sometimes i get "comfortably numb" to life. Ironic thing is that its not "comfortable" to me. I don't like numb. I like life. I like living on the edge. I like chances. I like spark. I get restless.

I emailed Endlessly Restless at his blogspot about a quote I read in Christianity Today magazine over the weekend. It spoke of being restless, and I am.
I want that "walk to emmaus" experience again or that annual church camp experience of my youth back. I need some authenticity in my christian relationship. Oh hell, lets just put it out there - I need authenticity in my marital relationship as well.
I need to connect. I need it on more than a superficial level. I need to connect to my world like a comfortable t-shirt that has been worn over the years, with enough stains and paint on it to make it unique. Mine. No one elses.
I need to do this. I am not quite sure how to approach it.

maybe this post is like the AA thing. The first step is acknowledgeing I have this problem. I just need to take step two. maybe i should re-read Brother Lawrence's "practicing the presence of God" and see if that inspires.

My daughters Birthday is today

2008-07-02T15:39:00.003-05:00

I just read two blogger friends of mine. theroadlesstraveled.blogspot.com and mizangie57.spaces.live.com and interestingly enough they both hit on memories of the past. With today being my youngest daughters 6th Birthday and the preparations we are making for that, I wonder what memories she will have of this event? Other than pictures, what will rekindle thoughts of growing up in her later years?

We allow our kids to pick where they want to go eat on their birthdays. Well, today my 6 year old decided to dine at the culinary and cultural delight known as Chuck E. Cheese. Yes, a pizza place that features a huge rat as its mascot. I have no idea whats behind that marketing strategy, but it seems to work. So that is what we shall do. Go eat so-so pizza and they play games with tokens.

I do not recall my 6th birthday. I do know that it wasn't at a restaurant. It was at home, like all of my birthdays. My mom would bake a sheath cake (usually strawberry with strawberry icing, all homemade of course) and put those hard sugar decorations on it with corresponding number of candles. I would get to invite the 4 or 5 kids in the neighborhood (one whom happened to be an older girl who I had a crush on and she became a cheer leader and later got married before I could wow her with my charms) and we would eat cake, ice cream, and open whatever presents I got. Then we played in the backyard most likely.

Now we take kids to indoor play places, nice restaurants, trips, whatever, and spend hundreds of dollars on the event not counting the gifts. And I wonder, what memories will they have of this?

Mine are fond. I know my mom took time to make that cake. My favorite cake! To put just the right amount of icing on the top. To put the candles on it, light them, and have my dorky friends (except for the girl) sing Happy Birthday to me while I blew them out while making my wish.... (okay, yes the wish was about the girl).

It took time and effort.

Taking my kid to Chuck E. Cheese does not. But I wonder, will it have the same affect on her as mine did? I think probably so. Of course, we have ten thousand cameras at these events now, with video and still cameras, so it will all be recorded somewhere.

Thats one thing I do not have much of. Pictures of us kids, my sisters and I, growing up. No videos that I'm aware of. So the absence of those resources make my memories even that much more important to me, as they grow cloudier and dimmer by the year. Even so, they were good memories that I'm sure some kids did not have. I took them for granted, as I am sure my kids do presently. But hopefully, sometimes when a familiar smell or sight or sound or even someone else's blog, triggers these memories, after I am long gone, they will look back on these days with fondness... and say mom and dad did okay. ~npp

in a wierd place

2008-06-20T19:50:00.003-05:00

I am in a wierd place right now. Lets just say it has been a stressful several days for many reasons that I can't really put my finger on totally. I work for a passive/aggressive person, who for the most part is okay and we get along, but there are times when his behavior is, well, assholeish. Excelling at making molehills into mountains and being the paragon of all wisdom, he drives me insane at times. More than that, he likes doing it. Its some sadistic pleasure I cannot understand. When I say Teamwork, I mean that I benefit by helping each member of my team. When he says Teamwork, its "the Team Works for me". Huge religious hypocrite as well. Doesn't walk his talk. Funny, we eat lunch at the office almost daily for the most part and we don't pray before eating. We go out to a restaurant and he feels like we have to pray before eating. Show.

So all the above and the inherent stresses of the job have me on edge a bit.
Then my spouse picked some movies to watch. Thats cool. The Bucket List one night where the guys are dying of terminal diseases, then P.S. I Love You where the guy dies young as well. Uplifting. Then I talk with some friends and this person is dying of a brain tumor. A 38 year old mother suddenly died of blood clot. A single mom of three has leukemia. It goes on and on. On top of all this, I work with troubled youth. One we have been working with for about 3 years took his own life this week. 15 years old. And I get home tonight to find out some friends of ours are getting a divorce, or at least splitting up because he is unfaithful and she is an alcoholic and their 10 year old daughter is here when I get home.

It seems there is dysfunction all around me and I can't get a break from it. My perspective on life is intense, and this stuff really bothers me. The crap that happens and the high priority people put on the B.S. we have created makes me want to scream "DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT REALLY MATTERS!!!". It echoes in hollow chambers.

It is begining to weigh on me. I can feel it in my shoulder muscles and in the muscles around my eyes. My sleep patterns have off once again. Stress and depression seem to raising their ugly heads once more.

and my damn motorcycle is in the shop so I can't ride off into the sunset.

and I'm trying to find something to say for Sunday. To teach about. And its just not coming to me. I wanted to utilize the scene from The Bucket List where they are on the plane talking about God and Faith. Yeah, Faith is what I want to talk about. The Faith that things will get better. Personal life, occupational life, relationship wise, health, ...that things will turn out okay. But I lack Hope. So this is difficult for me right now. Faith, Hope and Love. The greatest being...Love. If only.

Where Stupid Collides

2008-06-18T12:49:00.002-05:00

I was with my wed morning group today and we were cutting up as usual. One is relaying the story of going to a local fast food joint to pick up some lunch. He is second in line behind a lady who is ordering for three separate "to go" orders. The girl behind the counter gets one of the orders wrong (murphys law) and has to get a manager and all that jazz.
now, more than likely you have been in this situation somewhere. Mine usually occurs at Wal-Mart. I'll scan quickly for the shortest line and get myself in it. Unfortunately, the reason the line was short is because other exasperated customers have decided to find another due to the incompetency of the cashier and/or the customer in line. I'll look up and the little "i need assistance please" light is flashing. Now this only occurs in direct correlation to the amount of time I have remaining prior to another obligation. The less time the more frequent the occurence.
Which leaves me with this: If you put two certain variables together, the outcome will not be desirable. Hence, Stupid people should not work where stupid people order. Its a recipe for disaster I'm telling you. I'm not sure their shouldn't be IQ meters at least on one end of the deal. Either the worker or the shopper. Would make things go a lot smoother.

just so you can na-na-na-na-na-na!

2008-06-17T17:55:00.002-05:00

This website allows you to leave messages for those who get "left behind" after the rapture. Assuming you are going and they are not (seems a bit judgemental too me, but hey, evangelicals are really good on this soooo....)

www.you'vebeenleftbehind.com

would be cool too leave those folks some "na-na-na-na-na-na's". That'll freak 'em out when your gone and their still here looking down on, well, whoever the hell is left. (no pun intended)

Puh-Leeze!

2008-06-15T18:52:00.005-05:00

Okay. Off and on the Prophet has Word that should be heeded. It is often emphasized at the end of a post by the singular line "Word". So here's one.
Word.
I took my lubberly little family to Sea World San Antonio this past week. They love it with all the cute little animals and sea life and rides. They also love the water park as well with its wave pool and lazy river.
There are, however, a few "attractions" we could have done without.
Ladies (and gentlemen if you find yourself being described here thought I'm not sure how), would you please pass this on to any of your male friends if you find them, ummm, tempted or currently doing this: Men wearing banana hammocks/speedos is not attractive. Guys, let me put this another way: Its Gross. NO one, Absolutely NO ONE cares to see your package. No matter how proud you may be of your little friend, I can certainly affirm that others do not share in your enthusiasm. There are times when discretion is the better part of valor, and dude, some discretion would have been great!
Okay ladies, when I say this please nod your head in the affirmative. Unless you look like Fabio, there's some stuff us guys just should not do. If your torso looks like one of those Budweiser Kegs we used to abuse in college, please refrain from walking around the neighborhood without your shirt on. Yes, really.
Windshorts. They are not for guys. Please refrain from jogging in them. Especially if they have words printed on the back.
Bald is beautiful. If you are experiencing hair loss in an unappealing manner, shave it off. Dude, grow a goatee and shave your head and get a tattoo and a Harley and your wife will thank you while flushing the toupee'.
and just too be fair - ladies, while you are beautiful in your own ways, sometimes I like to leave just a bit to my imagination, which can be to your advantage. Okay, if you are Angelina Jolie then go ahead and flaunt. But if your butt checks are hitting the back of your knees - PLEASE NO THONG (yes, I actually saw this).
and yes, that hummingbird on your left breast is cool for now, but in about 40 years it will be an Ostrich. Think it over.
If you are in the above categories and are totally comfortable with it, I implore you too consider others and how this may affect their mental capacities. When I recall these images in my head, I close my eyes really tight and shake my head violently. Its called "mental etch-a-sketch" and sometimes I can erase the image. Sometimes not.
Word.

a one, a two, a three...how many licks will it take?

2008-06-07T08:48:00.003-05:00

If you know what the subject line above is in reference to, then you are probably around my age. "A one, a two, a three...how many licks will it take" referred to a tootsie-roll lollipop and the commercial featured a kid who sought out a wise owl and asked how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-roll lollipop. The wise owl takes the lollipop and licks 3 times and then just bites into it.
Enter politics.
I was watching both McCain's and Obama's "speeches" the night Obama clinched the Democratic nomination by delegate count. McCain said this and that and Obama said that and this. I will concede that Obama is a much more inspiring orator than McCain. And I'm listening to what each is promising to do if elected President of Our United States of America.
I, my friends, am a left over Reagan Republican. I listened over my young adult life to the promises, the hope, the inspiring message that I got from him in my impressionable days and loved it. I waited for the days that the Repubicans (i.e., the conservatives) would finally straighten out our screwed up world and put things "right" (pun intended). Well, it finally happened and the Republicans took control of the White House and Congress and great things were going to happen. Lower taxes. No more pork barrel spending. No more interpretive judges on the federal judiciary.
They didn't.
The Republican's took office and for the most part - acted just like the democrats, just a different label. Nothing got solved for the most part. I felt let down. Still do.
Now in fairness (or for disclosure purposes for my liberal leaning friends, of which I have many) I am not a Republican. I would claim to be an Independant but I see so many people from both sides of the isle claiming that position that I hesitate to do so, and I can't say that I have actually voted independently in the past. Moderate carries such a bad label now I hate to use that either, and I'm not very moderate really. I am passionate about what I believe. I believe anyone who is passionate about their belief systems should vote and act accordingly. I have no problem with conservatives or liberals as long as they actually believe their own rhetoric and act on it and back it up with intelligent thought.
Which brings me back to my subject. I don't know that I believe the rhetoric of either Obama or McCain. Obama with his "I don't know my friends very well obviously" stance on all of his drama and his hope-inspiring messages (Which I like the sound of but wonder how in the hell he plans on carrying all of this out since he hasn't given any plans on how he would do this, but he sounds good) and McCain with his "I can be a conservative or a moderate when it suites me" and past performances where its hard to figure out what he might do.
So my question is: How many licks will it take to get to the center of these two. One, Two, Three? Like the lollipop, they are in the selling political season and have been polished and wrapped in a way that they hope will appeal to consumers to purchase them.
I just wonder what the actual product will be once I bring it home.
A one, a two, a three... the world may never know.

Somewhere in Time

2008-05-27T13:30:00.004-05:00

There is a great movie titled "Somewhere in Time", starring the ever beautiful Jane Seymour and the late Christopher Reeves. Rent it sometime and watch it with your spouse. However, this post isn't about that movie.

This weekend I went back to where I was born, raised, and raised hell. It was Memorial Day weekend, and like most American families, we had our big cookout saturday at the home of my sister. I am so proud of my sister. She made a lot of mistakes growing up (choices of boyfriends, husbands, careers, teen pregancy, financial struggles, poor self image) but has really turned her life around in the last decade. Has two great daughters and her husband is a good guy. They just built a nice pool and are doing well economically, so she had the whole family come over and enjoy the day.

Her daughters are in college and all their friends came as well. It was quite humorous when they started drinking lite beer (yuck) and I pulled out my Shiner Bock. They didn't even know what kind of beer it was. They were smoking cigarettes or swisher's, and I pulled out my Punch Primo cigar, lit it up and kicked back like the wise dude I am. When querried about my brand of beer and smoke, I told 'em I'm getting to the age where I don't know if I got minutes or years left, and by god I aint' gonna be caught dead with cheap beer or cigars. They just laughed. And kept laughing even after I drank 'em under the table with Padron Agave Tequila shots. I told 'em I have had more practice so it was kind of unfair.

Anyway, before all of this, I awoke at 6:15 a.m. My great aunt was celebrating her 95th birthday at her church some 20 miles away from where I was staying, at 8:30a.m. with a breakfast (I guess as this age they didn't want to chance doing it at lunch time in case she didn't make it those next few hours of the day). So I got up and left everyone sleeping at the house and took off.

This is where I grew up. My hometown area. Lots of memories. The quietness of the countryside and little east texas towns was striking. Locals cautiously watched me pass with a kind of who-is-that-look and a glancing wave. I was driving a "fur-uhn car" as they call it in their East Texas venacular. Its a Toyota Camry. You don't see much of those around that part of the country. Fords, Chevys and Dodges dot the landscape. Trucks mostly. Old Union yellow dawg democrats still control the mind set of this area, and the lack of ecomonic development and the dying steel mill does much to reinforce this. The slogan "Buy American" carries a whole different meaning here. I don't have the heart to tell them their Fords have over 20% of parts made in Mexico.

I stopped by the graves of my great grandparents, my great uncle, and others. I drove to my grandparents old place just outside of town. They have passed on now, but it is still amazing to me how these sights and sounds and smells can trigger long forgotten memories. I looked over the house and the pasture (which had grown up, as young folks don't tend to keep them up like the older generations did) and then drove backroads I haven't been on in almost 20 years. I had the window down and my left arm hanging out while just driving slowly, taking it all in. The old houses I had forgotten about. Some new ones that were placed here or there over the years. The smell of cows and cut grass met my nose in a familiar, comfortable way. I turned a corner to find four or five horses walking down the road toward me. It was an instant game of chicken. They weren't budging. They just looked at me like "dude, your on our road". They finally stepped aside and let me pass. I stopped by my mom's gravesite. It is always sobering for me. I had no words.

I make it to my aunt's breakfast at 8:15 a.m. and am greeted by people I haven't seen in decades and they still remember my name. Amazing. I know I'm supposed to know them, but time and distance has darkened my memory some. They were here when I grew up. They are still here. They are the earth of this place. They came from it, toiled it, live on it and someday will return to it. I feel like an outsider, mainly due to my own self consciousness. But there is some comfort in the familiar, and it is hard to shake. I felt relaxed. Safe.

I visited, shook some hands, hugged some others, told 'em what a big success I have become away from them and they seem so proud that someone actually moved away and is fairly successful. For them, time is standing still. They do not get out much, being content with what the lord and the land has provided them. The times are tough there, but so are the people.

You can still see the past in the present. It is haunting to me. And my memories linger....somewhere in time.

CHURCH is a NOUN

2008-05-21T21:20:00.006-05:00

I have absolutely no idea why this thought came to me while watching American Idol. Some lyrics from the song George Michael sang triggered the thought.
Church is a Noun. Christianity is a Verb.

From what I recall of grammer, a Noun is a person, place or thing. It really doesn't do anything. It just is. A Church is a Noun. It a place. Its a group of people if you like the sunday school song version. Its a thing where organized religion keeps itself together. It in and of itself really doesn't do anything.

Christianity, on the other hand, is a verb. A Verb is an Action word. A Verb, according to my dictionary, "expresses an act, occurence or mode of being, that in various languages is inflected for agreement with the subject, for tense, for voice, for mood..." A Verb does something.

And for some reason this struck me: I am a member of a Noun. Not a Verb. If we define ourselves as Christian simply as a result of the fact that we attend or belong/support a Church, then our self definition is incorrect. We are a church member. A church is a noun. It doesn't do anything. It is simply practicing Churchianity.

If I were a member of a verb (that being the hands and feet of Jesus), then I would rightly define myself as a Christian (one who follows Christ) only if I "express an act or mode of being that is inflected for agreement with the subject", the subject being Christ's teachings to love one another, feed my sheep, and whatever you do for the least of these you do unto me.

And I openly admit I fall way short on this. For am I more of a Christian if (1) I am working at the food bank once a week or (2) setting in a pew once a week? Is it motivation for one or the other that separates the issue and defines it more clearly? I suppose an atheist could work at the food bank and not claim to be a christian - BUT - that person would still be doing the work Jesus called us to do. Could I conversly claim to be a Christian and attend church, but never take time to help those less fortunate?

I think at times we (the church) schedule the once-a-year Habitat House or take the youth to the Food Bank just to make ourselves feel good. Yes, it is helping, but there is not intentional consistency. We are intentional about Church attendance, but I can't find that in the teachings of Jesus. We are to be about being intentional toward loving one another,
Yes, Church is a Noun. Christianity is a Verb.

I had to enable moderator mode

2008-05-20T11:13:00.003-05:00

Sorry guys and gals, but I had to enable the moderator thingy on this blog due to some idiot who decided to post a comment about making money to get you to click on his site ...
It sucks there are idiots out there like this but then again, its not a perfect world.
So, please continue to comment as before because I will approve all posts - just have to screen out the idiots. ~npp

well sunday didn't go as planned

2008-05-19T14:58:00.003-05:00

if you read my really cool and inspiring post from sunday morning, you knew what i was going to talk about. of course, not all things work out. I got to church and had forgotten that there was a guest speaker from the local college talking about college ministry and that it was a sunday school wide thingy... Of course, everyone else in my group knew it, because only 7 people from our group showed up. Anyone think there's a message there somewhere?
So, I didn't want to waste such a brilliant lesson on just 7 folks, so we listened to the boring presentation. I will wait for a larger audience to dazzle with my brilliant intellect and spiritual insights.
however, the day wasn't totally a waste. I went and saw IRON MAN. Took the whole family and it was a pretty good movie. some IRONY however, as Tony Stark upon returning from being held captive says, "I want a cheeseburger. An American Cheeseburger!". Next scence shows someone handing him a Burger King paper bag from which he produces a cheeseburger and commences eating. Irony being that Burger King is a United Kingdom owned company... so he still didn't get an American Cheeseburger. Oh well, I imagine Burger King paid enough $$$ to get that little spot in the movie, they'll call it whatever they need to call it. The IRON MAN CHEESEBURGER complete with action figure. Hey, that sounds pretty good.

This mornings time with God

2008-05-18T08:42:00.004-05:00

I awoke at at 7:30 this morning to sunshine and 64 degrees. As is my custom, I get up, throw some shorts and a t shirt on, grind some Eight O'Clock coffee beans and brew a pot of java. I get my materials together that I am teaching over and either set at the dining room table or go outside to the patio table.
This morning was a patio table morning.
I am going to talk about what "authentic" worship is as opposed to what we have made it. I am using an article from "Relevant" magazine for info, and also Isaiah where he talks about people "professing with their lips while denying with their lifestyle" and Jesus' reference to this in Matthew.
So I'm reading the bio of Isaiah, about how the prophets (so you see why this interests me) are placed by God but no one listens (sound familiar?). Isaiah, turns out, didn't seek to be a prophet either, but hey, God doesn't always seem to care what one wants to do. So off goes Isaiah, propheting away and no one listening. But generations later, lots of folks are listening. I guess its like an artist whose work isn't appreciated while they are alive and penniless, but sells for millions years after their death. Go figure.
So I am setting there, in my shorts and t shirt, drinking coffee and reading about Isaiha, when a gentle breeze envelopes me, surrounds and comforts me and causes me to feel the presence of God. It was a sustained breeze that searched me out, covered my ever contour and brought me into communion. I closed my eyes and took it all in, thanking God for the moment.
The breeze stopped as it had started. Slowly and completely. I had my time with God, now I'm going to go share it with others. Like Isaiah,they may not listen, but I'm going to speak it anyway. ~npp

What if...

2008-05-16T10:10:00.003-05:00

I was thinking, what if God operated like the government? I know it seems silly, but just what if? I have come up with a few things I think it would be like, and if you'd like to add yours, please join in the fun! (Just keep it light and no political party commentaries please.)

WHAT IF GOD OPERATED LIKE THE GOVERNMENT?
1. God would have sent a committee instead of Jesus.
2. You could not longer send in 10%, but instead would need to fill out complicated forms, although you would receive a tithing credit (not a full refund mind you) if you did improvements to your soul for better insulating against heat.
3. Instead of just 10 commandments that we can't seem to follow anyway, he would create a regulatory agency to oversee christianity and make sure we were in compliance. (or maybe Man already did this in the form of church)
4. Sampson would not be able to kick some major ass with the jaw of an ass as military regulations require a "high and tight" haircut.
5. Jesus would be required to secure a liquor license prior to making and serving alcoholic beverages at any party.
6. Armageddon or The Second Coming would be seen as dangerous to the environment, and a "environmental impact study" would have to be conducted prior to the event.
7. God could no longer feed 5000 people with a few fish and a couple of loaves of bread without first securing the proper permits for food handling and prep.
8. Jesus would have set on death row for 10 to 20 years, thereby delaying salvation for countless thousands.
............ ~npp

Love me like a river does...

2008-05-08T09:28:00.007-05:00

If there is a basic underlying theme or pulse to humanity, it would be love, or the lack thereof depending. Nothing inspires humanity more than this. From poetry to literature to film to music to intimacy to passion to compassion, nothing grasps hold of the human heart, soul and mind more than love. It ignites and stirs feelings that words are not adequate to describe, and causes us to respond to its calling in ways we never would otherwise. To reach beyond our mortal selves and touch the soul of another, a lasting legacy of who we are and who we strive to be. Love carries risks. No, love makes it possible for us to take risks.

Love can be awesome and devastating at the same time. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and so with this also comes the negatives of rejections, loss, frustration, guilt, anger, resentment, which plays out through the same venues listed above. But at its core, it is Love that defines us. Love of others, ourselves, our neighbors. The absence of this love can also define us.

Thanks to endlessly restless at endlesslyrestless.blogspot.com for introducing Melody Gardot, a beautiful young lady who has a very sultry voice which stirred me when I watched the video link. It is very passionate. My favorite video with her singing "Love me Like a River Does" is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFjoEl1sk1Q. Very stirring. Very beautiful. Very passionate. So pull up a chair, have a glass of merlot and enjoy!

I think I could actually live a major part of my life off of the philsophy of the words of this song and the words of the video.

~npp

I'm Back Ya'll

2008-05-04T19:30:00.002-05:00

I didn't hear "ya'll" much in Boston. Of course you knew that already. Just got back and am relaxing. Ate breakfast in Boston MA this morning, lunch in Atlanta GA., now dinner in Dallas TX.
I really liked Boston. It was my first trip to the east coast and I was a bit apprehensive. But it was all good. The people watching was the best. Little Italian folks buying their produce and fish in the street markets, twalkeeng like dis' here ya know... "when's its gonna be summuah..." and the like.
I did the tourist thing of course, cause why else would you go to Boston anyway? I highly recommend the Freedom Trail which consisted of such historic places like Paul Revere's home, Fuenial Hall and the Union Oyster house where the sparks of independance got started. The Old North Church where the two lanters were hung to warn the red coats were a comin', the USS Constitution tour was awesome ...
BUT...
my absolute favorite tour was (drum roll please) ... SAMUEL ADAMS BREWERY! yes sir ladies and gents - it was a great tour and lots of free beer. It was an excellent research project if I say so myself. The hops. The barley. The wheat. The explosion of fantastic proportions of beer tantalized my taste buds and quenched a longing for something that would connect me with my country.... Samuel Adams. It was very patriotic! ;)
The Boston Red Sox were playing at Fenway Park but we didn't have a chance to go. Okay, we had a chance but it was in the 30s and we whimped out. It was also raining off and on. Beautiful Bwastun weaduhr. We took a day and drove up to Maine through New Hampshire and back to Boston. Very pretty country up there. Not what I was expecting really. I had heard that the folks in the area were sorta, well, by southern standards - rude. I did not find that to be the case. There were rude folks just like where I live, and nice folks just like where I live...so no biggy. Talked to a fellow that looked like a godfather and had the heavy Italian accent... was interesting.
I'll blog more of my thoughts on this trip later! I'm beat.

goin' to bwaston

2008-04-29T15:56:00.006-05:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am forageing into yankee territory this week. Taking my first trip ever to the East Coast. Boston Ma., leaving tomorrow and not returning until first of next week.
Pleasure trip. Free trip. My beautiful cousins take myself and spouse somewhere almost annually. It started as a way for them to express love to me after the tragic death of my mother. First we went to New Orleans (they thought I needed the bourbon street experience), then to New Mexico where we went to Albequerque(sp), Santa Fe, and Taos. Then we went to San Francisco. There is somewhere else but its not coming to me right now. Writers block.
Anyway, this time its Boston. I picked it. I like history. We are going to do the Freedom Trail (consisting of Revere's house, the Old North Church, Bunker Hill, The USS Constitution, etc) stay at the Marriot on the Wharf, eat some great seafood, and just hang out. We will have drinks and some nice cigars and watch all those yankees walk around with their wierd accents.
I think I'm wearing my boots. By golly I'm from Texas and we wear boots here. Of course there is a lot of walking involved, so, maybe not.
My first stop after landing, however, is for my research project. I research micro-brewerys. I like to compare them. So I'm paying a visit to Samuel Adam's Brewery. Its totally a scholarly endeavor so its all legit. wink wink.
Anyway, will not be checking the internet for about 5 days. I am trying to quit. Its an addiction.
So I shall return back May 5th and give an update.

stupid christians

2008-04-27T13:53:00.003-05:00

We finished up the Bill Hybels' "Just Walk Across the Room" book today. Though my group really didn't "get into it" overall, it brought up some interesting topics. (This book could have been condensed into a 15 page 'what not to do' guide for dummy's thing, but Bill probably couldn't have bragged on himself so much).

One of the topics centered around 'putting people first'! What a novel idea. I'm glad Bill pointed this out to us. Actually, its sad that he needed to point it out to christians, but truth is we as a group sometimes do a lousy job of putting people ahead of agendas or personal stuff. The pastor at my church hasn't even gotten this concept down, so obviously its not a lay person only issue.

One story was of a waitress that went to Willow Creek Church and she wrote Bill a 5 page letter detailing how the wait staff rotated on Sunday's having to wait on the Christians so no one got stuck with them all the time. They, as she said, are demanding, rude, and lousy tippers. Go figure.

So today after church, we go to a McAlister's Deli (where we go every sunday) and I am ordering this and that. The young girl taking my order says something to the Manager who responds 'well just do your best', and she replied that she had already gotten griped at. I asked her if the customers were giving her a hard time and she smiled and said someone was griping at her because the restaurant was low on straws or something that she had no control over. I look around and its obviously a church crowd in there, and this is beginning to look so familiar to the story Bill Hybel's spoke about. I responded "whats wrong with those christians anyway?!" She just smiled, leaned over the counter and whispered "Sundays are the worst".

Now, for arguement sake, it may not have been a Christian. Let me rephrase that: May not have been a person who claims to be a christian and attends church. But given the time, day and crowd I'm pretty sure it was. And I hope this girl doesn't judge Jesus by His so called followers.

So my question to you fellow Jesus freaks is this: When you are out and about town, when you see a cashier, public servant, custodial staff in your building, do you see them as a valuable child of God, a person on a journey in life? Or do you not even really see them at all? Do you know any of them by their first name?

Show me a parable where Jesus didn't have time for these folks. Tell me why you don't.

Introduction to Christ

2008-04-22T09:53:00.002-05:00

I would love to go to church and see this, either in person or on the big screen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzJD6mpFnXg

random thoughts

2008-04-21T21:26:00.006-05:00

I grew up in the middle of nowhere. Literally. Two highways intersect there to form a four-way stop. If not for that you would pass right on through. Its one of those little towns you think of when listening to a John Mellencamp song. I lived within four miles of where I was born, including my residence, my entire 1st through 12th grades of public school,and my church. My entire universe was centered around this part of the world.

I can still recall my best friend John and I (we were neighbors) riding our bicycles from our houses to the downtown area, and riding all over the sidewalks and secret trails behind buildings that only we knew. We would walk the streets some days, picking up coca cola bottles or dr. pepper. You could take those to the local grocery store where they would pay you a dime for each bottle you brought in. We absolutely could not figure out as 12 year olds why someone would just through them out the window, but we were glad they did. We would collect enough money to buy us a coke apiece, a package of gum and maybe some of those pop rocks that we heard if you drink with coke your stomach would blow up and you would die. My friend John was a tester of life. Not afraid of anything. I still remember him eating three packages of those things and chasing them down with an entire coke, just daring the damn things to do anything. I set on the bench next to him in front of the store, waiting for his stomach to explode. Nothing. I was sort of disappointed, but a little glad all the same.

I went to the small United Methodist Church my whole life too. My whole perception of God and church was formed there. It wasn't too bad. It was small town values and routine that formed some of my personality. You could count on the Doxology, the same three or four hymns, and the newest out of seminary pastor trying to get these old people off their asses and do something for Jesus. It was amusing. I recall my confirmation class, which consisted of exactly two of us. And we weren't really willing, we were forced. Yes, forced religion on the two of us by our mothers. So we went, did the thing, got baptized, and moved on. Didn't seem to make any difference to either one of us, but it did our mothers. I was the youth leader, and for a while I had some kids coming to it. Not really for spiritual purposes, but the church in their wisdom had given me a key, so I set up a pool table in one of the non used classrooms (there were many of those) and we put a stereo in there and hung out. Seemed safe enough, hanging out playing pool in God's house while listening to Black Sabbath on the turntable.

I was fairly content there. My world was safe. Everyone knew everyone. Andy Griffith could have been our sheriff. But sometimes, when I was alone, I felt as if something was missing. I was not quite complete. That for whatever reason, this life I was in wasn't really who I am. It was hard to explain or even internalize. I felt, even though I was okay where I was, I wasn't okay with WHO I was. I felt out of place, like I just didn't fit in. The things my friends were obsessed with really didn't interest me a whole lot. I hung out, went to concerts, drank beer on the Dairy Queen parking lot, cruised the streets, all that jazz, and still something, out there was calling to me.

I got that same feeling again last week at work. I was standing in front of my office building watching people come and go ... and I thought "who am I?". Who is this person I have become with a nice tie and slacks and title? What will it all mean in 50 years anyway? And I wonder if others have this thought as well, or are most people content with the roles they play in life? I'm convinced there is more out there, just beneath the surface of our facades we call life. Just past the daily routines and golf games and business deadlines and rules and regulations, there is something stirring just beneath the surface of humanity. Something wanting to scream out "This is not who you are supposed to be!", and there is more too all of this than what you have made of it.

Better than I thought...

2008-04-14T08:39:00.003-05:00

What a gorgeous weekend! Not hot, very sunny, a cool breeze each day. The world around me was alive with new awakenings. Songbirds proclaiming their presence in sound and color, their plummage of blues and reds and browns and blacks dotting the landscape. A bird's nest just under the eve of the porch contains new life, which will no doubt continue this annual pilgrimage to our front porch as there parents before them. Flowers in full bloom and grass a rich shade of green, with trees engulfed in the youngness of their unfolding leaves, stretching out to catch each ray of sunlight, some of which slips past and darts to the earth in a beam of brightness, piercing the blades of grass and penetrating the soil. There were no clouds, but the moon's image in vague whiteness pushed its way through the blueness of the sky above me.

It was perfect. So perfect that it begged "go fly a kite". So I did. With two of my daughters, we set forth to the open areas and gave flight to our man-made creations. They soared and dipped and twirled about above our heads, giving a spectacular display of aireal acrobatics. My girls were delighted by this simplest of exercises.

I had purposely made no plans for this weekend. It was my birthday weekend. I only had those things to do which I chose to do. The other things merely fell into place as if they originally existed there, awaiting my arrival for completion. To do what they were designed to do. Kites to fly. Songbirds to sing. The moon above to proclaim its presence, both in the light and in the darkness. For me to listen. My soul was at peace.

I received many expressions of good wishes for my birthday, in email, phone calls and in person. I was blessed to spend time with my family, both biological and self proclaimed. My sunday morning fellowship was in rare form and the discussion was lively. I spent the evening with the youth program, getting greetings from them in the forms of the ever popular knuckle to knuckle and "Yo - Mr ___" with an upward headnod.

And last night, as I laid down to sleep, I thought to myself that I really never stopped and spent any time with God. I SPENT THE WHOLE TIME WITH GOD! He was there in all of this, and I was surrounded by Him all day. And I smiled.

This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. and I was. ~npp

Its My Birthday!

2008-04-11T10:45:00.002-05:00

This weekend is my birthday. Sunday to be exact. I will be... well nevermind that. And I wrote this blog solely for the purpose of gettings lots of Happy Bday comments. No, thats not true. Actually, for the first time in my life, I don't care that its my birthday. It just doesn't seem to carry the same excitement it once did. My birthday. Big Deal. Another day out of 365.
And I have been wondering, "Why don't I get excited about my birthday anymore?". Maybe its because I've had a few and it wears off, kind of like buying a favorite movie and after you watch, oh, a thousand times, you loose interest. The movie is still good, just doesn't appeal to you that much anymore. I would like to get backthat feeling as a child about my Birthday. MY DAY! Its ALL ABOUT ME!
Now the world I live in is too busy, filled with obligations and time constraints and demands... it doesn't leave time for My Birthday. Or rather I don't make any time. Either way, its pretty sad. I was asked what I wanted to do for my birthday, and I had no answer. To do nothing sounds bad, but it was the first thing that came to my mind. How about nothing. How about I just get to rest.
So I am just going to let whatever transpires happen. I will just be in the moment. I will make no plans that will inevitably get changed anyway. I think I will look closely at this world I live in, and try and take it all in.

F the Police

2008-04-06T08:38:00.004-05:00

F the Police. I saw this line in someone else's blog, and I have to admit it made me a little uncomfortable. It was in context with a musical festival which featured rap music. I like to think of Rap as missing one crucial letter - C, at the beginning. But I have to admit that I like some of it. Tobi Mac for instance. The "C"Rap I dislike is that which spews the message of hate. F the Police. Or hoes and bitches, a total disrespect for the femine influences in the world. What's ironic is that a majority of these "C"rappers were more than likely raised by a woman, either an aunt or grandmother. Not their dad. I work with these troubled youth and I understand their anger. A lack of a secure and affirming family structure of epidemic proportions in this culture is breeding anger. It is creating a self sustaining pattern of fatherless homes. It is bad. I do not, however, condone their message of violence.

And I was thinking about F the Police. What does that mean? The Police are nothing more than a reflection of the culture at any given time in history. The institutional enforcement of the norms of society. They are not an autonomous group out there on their own. They are legislated, regulated, and given the stamp of approval by whatever governing body who are voted in by the populace. So do we totally label (and you know how I hate labels) Police by one individuals dealings with a bad officer? Do we label all Christians by the actions of One Christian (you can fill in the name)? Do you wished to be viewed by the actions of Rev. Wright, or Jerry Falwell, or Benny Hinn, as representative of what YOU are? (Plug in your profession, and now think of someone who isn't representative of your ethics in that profession, and you see the point.)

I know many police officers. They have families. They attend church. Many are bi-vocational pastors, big brothers & big sisters, deacons, food bank volunteers, givers. A positive influence in their world. Most got into that line of work because they are servant hearted. Like Christians SHOULD be. They are geared toward helping people. Yes, there are some that are in it for the power trip. Met them too. I have also met pastors who share these same traits - both servant hearted and egotistical. I do not hear of many of these young rappers with the aforementioned attribute of servant heartedness. It appears that most come from their own ego's and extremely worldly motivated by perceived power through violence, substance abuse, bling, and the degredation of women. This does not give legitimacy to their anger.

So F the Police? I think not. Maybe its F the Individual who will not take responsiblity for thier own actions. Maybe its F the People who enable others to use excuses as crutches for where they are. Maybe its F the Haters who build walls instead of bridges.

Word from the Prophet: If the message isn't love - then the message is wrong.

Saved Part II

2008-03-30T15:55:00.005-05:00

I wondered last night after I posted SAVED, if I would be offensive to some. It is not my intent. If you are Baptist and that is your walk, I have no issue with your walk. I believe that both walks, Time & Date and Always Accepted, are both valid. My issues come about when others persist that there walk is the only valid way, and they quote some scripture to "try" and prove their point.

By the way, Always Accepted (in my words) means that you grew up knowning Jesus Christ. You knew he was the Savour, Son of God, Light of the World, so on and so on. You didn't have to be convinced at a later time. And over time you internalize this knowledge as truth. You may make a profession of faith statement at confirmation or through baptismal or some other means. As opposed to Santa, who you grew up as a child believing in, but later found out was not real and rejected that previous knowledge (although you secretly wish he WERE real to keep on getting those gifts!).

I was affirmed somewhat today when the first couple of people in the Study came in and they were not liking what they had read. This form of evangelism, where you go up to people and ask about their relationship with Jesus Christ, is a turn off for them as they have had people approach them in this manner. At times it can be offensive. The temperature of this group is one where we demonstrate Christ to others through our lives, actions, outreach, or some other means, and not the overly overt method implied by this study. It may just be what we are comfortable with. We also try and be as authentic as we can, and for outsiders may not look like quote "Christians" overall, but that view is a bad distortion of what Christianity is supposed to look like anyway. Plastic smiles and three piece suits do not a christian make.

So I had to begin the lesson by disclaimer. That both walks are equally valid depending on where you are in life. There is certainly some good to come out of introducing people to Jesus the Christ, there are just differences in how we wish to do this. Some folks were threatening that they would not come to this study if it was going right by the book. I assured them we were not, but we would explore the meaning of Evangelism in the process. It was a lively discussion. I also promised I would preview future studies in the past before signing on to one the church suggests. I should have known better as my church's latest attempts at ministering to the people have failed miserably. But I'm an optimist, damnit.

There are one or two people in this group who came to Christ by being introduced to him by someone else and having the Time & Date moment. I do not wish to minimize their experience. Nor do I like for my experience to be minimized either. The rest of us are still having those moments, where we try and place Jesus where he needs to be daily, as so well put by Endlessly Restless in the comments on the first Saved.

So if you feel compelled to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with someone, please check your approach to people. It would be worse to turn them completely off than to show them Christ by your very being. And to be fair to Bill Hybels, he does use this modified approach, that if the person isn't interested he backs off - but his motive is still there and he just tries another way. Very persistent.

One day I'll blog about the verse in John "the only way to the Father is by me...". Whew, thats a fun one to debate with fundamentalists.

Saved

2008-03-29T21:10:00.003-05:00

This topic bothers me. Constantly. I'm not Saved. There, I said it. The truth is out. I have never been saved. Never said the prayer of salvation or four spiritual laws of this or that or read Romans with any conviction whatsoever. Never, never, never.

I have never had a conversion moment. I don't have a day and time where I asked Jesus into my heart. Don't have a moment where I went down to the front of a church and cried on some pastors shoulder and he gets to score another one in the column for souls saved for Jesus. My fundamentalist friends are sure I am going to hell. They say this is the formula. You must accept Jesus into your heart and make him Lord of your life...blah blah blah.

But how can I accept Jesus if I have never Not Accepted Him to begin with? I mean, its like not accepting the air that I breathe. Is that possible? I grew up in a christian home, went to church and sunday school and youth and camps and stuff from infancy to present. Knew about Jesus my whole life. Figured he is part of the family. Pray, listen, led by His prompting, followed the teachings, etc. What's left? So how does one who has always Accepted Jesus, Accept Jesus again to get saved? Its a strange concept to me. I have friends who did not grow up going to church or in a christian home and never really heard about Jesus and later in life was introduced to Him and accepted him then, but that seems to be a totally different thing.

I was at a conference once where the speaker asked the attendees who had a Date and Time experience when they accepted Jesus and who always knew Jesus. It was about 50/50. So I'm trying to figure out why my some folks put so much emphasis on "being saved". Is it purely a denominational thing? Do Baptists follow some pattern that they see being emulated before them in their worship structure. They are the predominate denomination who seems to require this Time and Date thing. I have been told recently that my salvation hangs in the balance because I have not really been saved if I don't have the time and date thing.

Now if you know me or have been reading my blog for a while, you know how I feel about this. Its a bunch of bunk. If someone feels that the process is the important thing, following the right set of rules, then more power to them. I guess I wasn't baptised correctly either. Somehow I have done Christianity all wrong. My theology is wrong. Just living a christian life isn't good enough without the right formulas.

Whats brining this on is that I agreed to teach a study over Bill Hybels book "Just Walk Across the Room". I was warned it is a bit evangelical, but that there is good stuff to be taken from the study. I read the first 2 chapters and reviewed the DVD and its about taking the time to lead someone to Christ, which isn't bad in and of itself, its just the motive. ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO BRING PEOPLE TO CHRIST AND THE WAY TO DO IT IS TO ASK THEM ABOUT JESUS IN THEIR LIFE AND GET THEM TO ACCEPT HIM AND RECITE THE PRAYER OF SALVATION AND .... Argh@#$%!

I guess I suck at evangelism. I am more in tune with St. Francis of Assisi, paraphrased here "preach the gospel, use words only if you have to." I don't feel it necessary to ask people if they know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savour, cause 1. if they don't they'll think you a nut job cause that terminology makes no sense to non-believers or 2. yeah they do and why is this nut job asking me this? I have had more conversations with people about Jesus and Christianity and changed their worldly walk, and guess what? not once did I bring it up. They come to me. They ask me about my life, walk, whatever and it turns to that. Some start going to church and some stick out their marriages and some say thanks and keep on going... but not once have I felt compelled to say a prayer of salvation with them. If they want to do that its fine with me. That is their personal journey, their faith walk, between them and God. I'm just a middle man.

But my fundamentalist friends persist. They insist they will save me yet. I told 'em someone did that for me over 2000 years ago. If they can top that, more power to 'em.

The Angel of Death - A True Story

2008-03-28T22:01:00.003-05:00

In Texas we got a saying; "You ain't gonna believe this sh**." But here goes.

A friend of mine's wife works in an ER of a local hospital. He tells me the story wednesday morning of this week.
An elderly lady patient in one of the rooms starts yelling "Help! Help! Help!" over and over. Two or three staff respond, asking her what is wrong. The lady tells them the gentlemen in the next room is about to die and to help him.
Of course, the staff find this odd, as there is a solid wall between them and no way the lady would know anything. Regardless, they walk next door to find the guys vital signs dropping ... so they start to work on him ... he dies.
Yep - dead.
They go back into the room where the lady patient is and ask her the obvious question: "How did you know that the man next door was dying?". She says back to them, "You didn't see the man?" They ask what man. She tells them just before she starting yelling for help, a tall man, dressed all in black wearing a black hat and carrying a big knife in his hand had come into her room. The figure startled her by his appearance, and said "Sorry, wrong room" and turned and went through the wall into the next room. This is when she started yelling for help.

told you that you wouldn't believe this sh** ~npp

Expelled The Movie

2008-03-23T15:29:00.002-05:00

http://www.expelledthemovie.com/playground.php

Its about Darwinism and Academia. Ben Stein is behind it. Narrating. I could hear "Bueller?... Bueller?....."

watch the trailer. my interest in peaked.

I think the Theory of Evolution is quite ridiculus. If academia wants to call Creationism a theory as well, thats fine with me also. However, can we not openly debate our theories until they are proven fact? This raises some legit questions: Why is academia so afraid to debate this?

I have thought about evolution before, and just can't rationalize it. I give thought to creation, and though taught this from birth, it still seems more plausible than evolution. Species have probably changed over time, adapted, whatever.... but evolved? from another species? ludicrous.

anyway, thought I'd spark the debate and pass on the trailer..... ~npp

Happy Resurrection Day

2008-03-21T13:58:00.003-05:00

I have no idea how Easter became associated with a "bunny" and what that has to do with colored eggs. There is probably a story that covers the details of this, but I haven't spent any time looking it up.

I am a huge Easter fan. I actually like it better, from a purely christian perspective, than say Christmas. Easter for me is a time of new beginnings, renewal, the end of an old covenant and the entering in of the new. Spring. Life blooming eternal. It is a very spiritual time. "Do This in Rememberance of Me". And I simply love communion at this time of year. This act of bread and wine (or Welch's Grape Juice for you non-drinkers) somehow brings me closer in "communion" with the Christ. Unexplainable as it may be, it is a beautiful thing.

I do not really get so emotional that I start using words like "the blood of the lamb" and "its all about the cross" and things of that nature. I actually am more subdued by it all. I can't relegate it down to a few canned phrases. What I feel cannot be adequately expressed in this manner. It is simply more than I can understand. I remember going to the theater with our church group and watching "The Passion of The Christ" and simply being awestruck. When the movie concluded, somehow it felt disrespectful or at least inappropriate to just get up and leave. I physically remained in my seat for several minutes contemplating what I had just watched and experienced. Somehow it was more than the typical Easter Sunday Sermon that you normally get. It brought reality to this story. Showed what real Passion (suffering) was like. Made me realize that when we used to sing, with gusto, "Are Ye Able Said the Master, to be crucified with me" ... well the sturdy dreamers may have answered yes, but after seeing the reality of it - I would probably have to say no. It would be unlikely I could suffer the fate of Jesus. Even though more deserving in a theological sense, it is much to high a price for me.

So I do not go to church on Easter. Have not for years. I know, it seems kind of out of sync, but I do not. Each year I go camping in the Piney Woods of East Texas with several family members. I walk the trails early in the morning, while the sun forces its rays through the morning sky and penetrates deep into the forest. The dogwood blooms are everywhere here, and they are a reminder of the crucifixion. I am alone with the God of the Universe. We are close here. Much closer than if I were in the Sanctuary. I leave that place for those "Christians" who want to show up on "special days". We call them CMEs...Christmas, Mother's Day & Easter Christians.

So I leave you this weekend, away from this computer and my occupation, and I go to the place where I find God each and every year. And I remember. And am thankful. "Do This in Rememberance of Me".

Happy Resurrection Day! ~npp

Forgiveness

2008-03-10T12:59:00.003-05:00

Do you remember when you were little, and your parents or someone else would tell you that God is watching everything you do? Like Santa Claus and his list of naughty and nice kids. Man, I was always paranoid about this. Especially in my hormone-raging teenage years when I was, uh, exploring the beauty of God's most beautiful and arousing creation - girls!

I got a list of things I figure I'm going to be questioned on when I get up there.
Okay, the house lights go down, Cue me coming on stage from the right with a single light following my person - loud thunderous noise and Cue up God setting in a big ol' chair center stage, with St. Peter beside him operating a power point projection showing one screw up scene from my life after another. St. Peter saying " please explain Sheila and the lakehouse incident." "Please explain pouring salt on a that snail". "Please explain lying to the teacher about the goat eating your homework"... it goes on and on and on. My mouth is wide open. Dang it - He saw all of that.

So I used to try and counter my "mistakes" with some good stuff, you know, like going to church (even when I didn't want to), holding doors open for old ladies, staying awake during history class, you know, the important stuff. That way, when God has me center-stage, I got "yeah, but didn't you see that other stuff too?". I mean, what is this, a one-way street, you only catch the bad stuff?

I had a boss like that. I worked in a grocery store in high school, carrying out groceries, stocking shelves, that kind of thing. I would work after school and every saturday as well. Always working or doing something... but the one time I would get a Coke and a snack, and set down for a break, inevitably the Assistant Manager would walk up. Also had a coach like that. I couldn't hit the ball in baseball, but when I did, he would always be looking the other way. No credit for the good stuff.

Somewhere along my journey, the concept of forgiveness crept into my litte consciousness. We always HEAR about forgiveness, mainly that we are to forgive others, (which is a very healthy thing for us to do) but we hear little about forgiving ourselves. I would ask God for forgiveness for Sheila at the lakehouse or pouring salt on that snail, but I would never really expect it. The formula was to ask. So I did. Jesus says "to love your neighbor as yourself". Dang, thats hard to do when you don't love yourself because of all the baggage, whatever it is, that we still carry.

I think it was my Emmaus Walk that the concept finally set in and held. It is about Grace. Totally. I never got it before. I am one that doesn't except Grace well. You know, something free has to have a catch. And yep, sure enough, Grace does have a catch. Or at least it does for me. I have to accept it. I have to admit I'm not perfect, never will be, and God isn't up there just watching the BAD STUFF. He is watching ALL THE STUFF - GOOD AND BAD. And He loves us just the same.

So I look stage left, and que up my children while the power point presentation of my screw-ups fade to darkness. They are great kids. They make mistakes. They will pour salt on snails and have homework issues and god forbid, lakehouse incidents. And I will catch them, cause thats what I do. I will also love them, cause thats who I am. And that is who God is. I am forgiven. And I forgive myself.

Hi. I'm Jesus Christ and I approve this message.

2008-03-07T16:28:00.006-06:00

In light of the political season and the advertising that comes with it, I wonder if Jesus would have a commercial. Who would pay for it? You know... "this political advertisement paid for by strangely warm sensitive human beings who are basically screwed up but have a relationship with Jesus, who is totally cool with their wierdness". Well, maybe the commercial would have soundbites like this:

http://www.interviewwithgod.com/beatitudes/

cut and paste to browser cause I'm obviously not smart enough to insert the link.
enjoy! ~npp

Lunch with a Linebacker

2008-02-26T14:30:00.004-06:00

I had lunch today with an NFL (National Football League) Linebacker. Okay, former NFL Linebacker, but still...
Steve Grant, Indianapolis Colts Linebacker, came and spoke to a group of kids today. I got to listen. It was for the kids, but I got some stuff out of it as well. No, not just an autographed sports card (which is kinda cool), but something from his message.
He is a speaker for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and had quite a story to tell about his growing up without a father, living in Miami and making lots of mistakes, deciding at age 7 he wanted to be in the NFL and how he got there. It was really great to see him making a connection with these "at risk" kids and giving them some hope that, If this guy can do it - maybe I can as well!
So we went to lunch. He was just as down-to-earth as anyone else and very real. Not blah blah blah religious stuff. Just coming from where he had been and trying to pass some of it on to help out others. Like we all try to do. He has went from unhealthy (spiritually speaking) to healthy.
He has Trademarked a saying, and I will post it here: "You're not born a winner. You're not born a loser. You're born a CHOOSER."
You can choose your path. You can choose to stay where you are, whether it is unhealthy or not, or you can choose to move forward to a better place. Its up to you. No one else. You don't just become a winner or loser. You are a chooser.
I like that.

I Hate Oswald Chambers

2008-02-13T13:10:00.003-06:00

Many of you know of Oswald Chambers and the book "My Utmost For His Highest". For those who don't its a nice little devotional.

and I hate it.

Here's why. It speaks too me. Damnit.

I have used this devotional before. Devotionals have a way of presenting something new each time you read or reread them. Same with this one. They have a way of focusing my day on a certain point. One that usually needs focusing on. Its like Oswald is in my lil' head and saying whatever it is that is on my mind. It challenges, humbles and at times humiliates me about my own selfishness.

I used to do a devotional every day for the obvious reasons of drawing closer to God, but also as a time to reflect on myself as well. It was part of my spiritual discipline. The last few years have been sort of tumultous for me, as it is for anyone who goes through some major life changes, and I kind of put aside my devotional time.

I have recently started it again, and am reading Oswald Chambers once more each morning before starting my busy, bureaucratic day. It seems to help, though I can't really explain it.

Think about God. Think less about yourself. Think of others. Be a good influence. Get over your own ambitions and listen to God.

Thanks Oswald.

of tax returns and bad policy

2008-01-30T16:26:00.000-06:00

I was excited (initially) when I heard that the congress came together to give each taxpayer back 'x' amount of money to stimulate the econony. With spouse and kids that will be a pretty good chunk of change. I thought, "Hey, if they got that much of our money left over - they oughta give it back!"

But then I heard "how" this was going to be accomplished. It seems that the United States is going to borrow the monies from China and distibute it to US Citizens who can spend it as they wish.

Okay. hmmmm.

This seems soooo messed up in soooo many ways. Here's some of them:

1. We are borrowing from China.
2. We have to pay this back in interest.
3. Consumers are going to use the money to by products made in (you guessed it) China!
4. We send billions of US Taxpayer dollars all over the world for foreign aid and then we do not get reimbursed and we "forgive debt". So we "give" our money away and we "borrow" money from China???? anyone else think this weird?
5. People who don't pay taxes also get a rebate. Louis Gohmert, Congressman from Texas, asked President Bush at the State of the Union Address a relevant question: "how do you give a rebate to people who didn't put bate in to start with?"

Call me crazy but this just seems wrong in so many ways. And its all to stimulate an economy created by the Adjustable Rate Mortgage fiasco that people got themselves into. Okay, so we are doing all this to bail out people who weren't smart enough to avoid an ARM? Are we going to start doing this for people who get screwed by a car salesman and get over their heads in payments "cause they were stupid?".

jeezus.

I thought about just refusing the money on principle. but then again.... :)

well it felt like an affair

2008-01-20T19:59:00.001-06:00

Today I went to another church service. A new church that meets in a movie theater. It is just getting started. A young energetic fellow is at the helm. He has a sense of humor and doesn't take himself too seriously. Its full of energy and hope and dreams.
Mine, as you know, has gotten stuck on itself and is more about building campaigns than building the kingdom. I have become a thorn in their side. I can see their demise as clearly as the moon out tonight.
But my passion is teaching. I have a great group there and we hang together. It is alive, passionate, dare say threatening to the pastorate. But we all know, and agree, that if it wasn't for this groups dynamics, most would leave and go elsewhere.
Today, I didn't have to teach. Someone else is teaching this week and next.
I snuck over with my family to this new church. It was good. I enjoyed myself. My family liked it. I felt like I was having an affair on my old church, or at least my little group. I'm supposed to "belong" somewhere else, but my heart isn't in it. I wnat to give it away to another. I know. Cheater.

Between this world and that one

2008-01-17T21:12:00.001-06:00

Today a high school friend of mine was laid to rest. Even typing these words seems odd to me. Brain cancer. 40 years young. Two young daughters and a spouse I have never met.

We are too young to die. This girl and I. Not moments ago we were in the halls of our high school, setting in the lunch room, me cracking jokes and she pretending to be offended. Now she is but a memory. Her children a legacy of all that she was, and passed on to them. A friend who is lost to her spouse.

I thought about her today. 2pm. The time of the funeral. I haven't seen her since high school but we are a small community, and everyone knows everyone and their families as well. It is a small part of you, your past, your being that is being buried with her. We are connected in that respect.

I could not be there. Instead, I found myself at a business expo, with booths and polished professionals and freebies and drinks and ... people going on with life and commerce and superficialness. While 90 miles away a solemn service was being held. A life being honored. An opportunity for grieving and supporting.

Two worlds at the same moment. This world and that one.

And I was caught between them somehow, contemplating the strangeness of it all.
I remember riding in the big black funeral home suburban following the vehicle that was carrying my mother to her grave and watching all of the traffic and people at the convenience stores and kids in their yards with balls and bicycles and I wanted to scream at them "Don't you know that the world has stopped!!!"
But they couldn't hear my inner thoughts - as their world had not. Mine had.

Two worlds at the same moment. This world and that one.

and I think, and I remember, and I smile, as somehow my memory of her still lingers, bridging the divide - between this world, and that one.

Promise Keepers Gone Bad

2008-01-11T15:05:00.000-06:00

As you may remember from an earlier post, I am a member of the Wards Boys. This group started out as a Promise Keepers group, but over the last decade, I have renamed it "Promise Keepers Gone Bad". It is also referred to as Wards Boys. That's another story and I will only tell it while with close friends who have had a couple of beers and I swear them to secrecy.
Tonight, the Wards Boys are getting together at one of the member's little ranch, where we will crank up a good fire, cook some Brauts and Sausages, have some cold beer and smoke some good cigars. I have a Monte Cristo with my name on it.
But that ain't the good part. The good part is being under the Texas skies, with the stars hanging above us, and just relaxing. Fellowship.
It is these moments that comprise the essence of my life.
Friday. It took all week to get here... ~npp

lesson from a golf ball

2008-01-07T09:39:00.000-06:00

I have no idea why I was thinking about this last night as I lie awake, my mind refusing to surrender itself to sleep. My daughter is on the golf team at her high school and so I am having to learn this and that about the game. I found out that there are approximately 336 dimples (those little indentions on the golf ball covering) on each ball. The reason for this is "Dimples on a golf ball reduce drag by creating turbulence as the ball flies through the air." Source: DunhamSports.com.

Okay, stay with me.

My mind was thinking in the middle of the night how each of these little "dimples" represented a hurt, disappointment, failure, rejection, set back in the golf ball we call our life. (No, I'm not smoking anything). And each of these, by the definition above "create turbulence" in our lives. Now turbulence isn't fun by most accounts, but what you learn and how you react determines alot. It is the dimples in our golf ball life that increase our faith and reliance on God and, as the definition above states, "reduce drag" in our life so we can move on to be better people. When we are hit with a 5 iron or just putted about on the green of life for someone elses amusement, this shapes and molds us and at times determines the direction our lives take. As I once read somewhere, golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle... how true of life.

Just like the dimples on the golf ball causes it to perform better, so we too are launched down the fairway of life, meeting resistance and creating turbulance, finding ourselves in the rough or a sand trap, all the while swinging away - dimples and all.

Punctuation Grammer

2008-01-03T09:31:00.000-06:00

Okay, if you have been reading my posts for any amount of time... PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME BY MY SPELLING GRAMMER PUNCTUATION!!! No one has by the way but I'm aware of it when i go back and proof it after posting. Aggravating. But I type this as fast as I can before a thought escapes me and I am not so concerned with the details at times. sue me. I am a detail oriented person for the most part, but here in the blogosphere... i don't really care about it so much. I have Dyslexia of the fingers when i type, for some reason letters get rearranged and whatever my brain is thinking at that moment gets typed. wierd. later.... ~npp

for one more day

2007-12-24T14:36:00.001-06:00

I received the book "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom yesterday. I finished it today. It has left me feeling oddly reflective. Its hard to explain.
You can google it and see what the plot is about. In short, if you could have one more day with someone that has past on...
It goes through the whole spectrum of feelings and thoughts one has when presented with this scenario: guilt. memories. smells. tastes. attitudes. feelings. guilt. oh and did i mention guilt?
my mom died tragically and suddenly seven years ago. huge blow. large guilt. much anger. pissed off at god. I remember our last conversion, the last time I would ever see her alive...and it makes me sad. If I had known, like the poem says, it definitely would not have been "those words" i spoke, "those actions" i took. I would have made it mean more. If "for one more day" I would change a lot.
so I have taken this view and have tried to apply it to my relationships now, with family and friends and just folks I know.
Its hard. I don't feel like doing that all the time. If my spouse were to die before I get through typing this line.... the last words and actions we had were not what I wanted them to be. "for one more day" i would change it....
but its hard.
Life gets in the way, with its weird and demanding self. It is determined that I should bend and respond to its every whelm. Sometimes, it pisses me off as well.
i don't like things the way they are, and yet I feel powerless to change them.
for one more day. if only. in only we got redo's. the chance to say "I'm sorry".
I am trying my best not to need "for one more day". but i'm human. I'm a screw up.
I don't think its possible to get it right all the time and not have any regrets.

stupid emails

2007-12-20T09:13:00.001-06:00

Stupid emails. I get them all the time. Mostly its spam about how I can enlarge certain parts of my anatomy, or I have won the lottery from Nigeria, or some such nonsense. Easy deletes.
However, some of the stupid emails come from people I actually know. (Come on, you know what I'm talking about). The "if you love Jesus you will pass this on to..." or "if you are ashamed of Jesus just delete this like the cold hearted person you are..." or "if you send this to 10 people a cancer patient will get 5 cents from AOL..." or what the heck ever. Please Stop!
I got this one today. "I made a bet with my boss that I could find 300 people who believe in God before he could. So add your name to the list and pass it on to others who are willing to stand up for God."... blah blah blah.
Yes. God cares whether or not you sign an email saying you believe in Him.
I am expecting a similiar email from Santa any minute now.

Here was my response (reply everyone button):
"Of course, the concern is not whether you believe in God or not. The concern is whether or not you are in an active relationship with God and listen. And if you listen, how do you respond?
You can say you believe in Santa Claus, doesn't make him real. You can say you believe in God/Jesus, but if you don't live it, its no more real than Santa.
Just my two cents."
I know, I probably over reacted to this email. but geeeez!

The Nativity Scene

2007-12-17T16:27:00.000-06:00

Often I reflect upon the nativity story and the images conjured up in my mind. Some are based upon my childhood and the stories we were told about baby Jesus, born in the manger, on a cold winter's night. I can see the storybook stars glistening in the sky above, with a rather bright star just over the stable. A small yellowish glow emitting from within - signifying a spectacular, holy event is taking place. My participation in small church re-enactments of this event as an angel, wearing a white flowing robe and a halo, which was made from a clothes hanger wrapped in tinfoil, standing on a piano bench proclaiming "a child is born" seems a bit hokey to me now as an adult - but as a child I meant every word of it. Like I was there and this was actually happening and I was a part of it and all was good.

As I grow older, I learn that it probably wasn't all that cold after all, as it was census time and the people had to travel great distances. And it wasn't on December 25th! And instead of a stable it was more likely a cave of sorts. No drummer boy either. Don't even get me started on the wise men and their gifts and showing up three years later at somebody's house. I swear they are at the manger scene!

I wonder what it would have been like to have been there that night. Admist the cows, sheep and donkeys, and the barnyard smells of hay and manure?
What would it have been like to witness Joseph trying to figure out what he was going to do with this whole situation. And Mary, a frightened teenager who was about to give birth in a strange smelly place, without friends or family to encourage them and assist in the birth a feedings and oh so much more. What would it have like to witness the birth of the saviour, the beginning of a revolution that would turn the world upside-down. I suspect it is much different than the nativity scene I have displayed in my living room.

However you envision this event, either from childhood memories of cute plays or bedtime stories, or factual accounts from historians, one thing seems to be remain constant: Hope. The whole point of the story, the event, is that God sent Hope into the world. If you've seen a baby born, you know that it is a miracle within itself. But this baby being born was more than that. Enter the creator, writer and director of the story, who inserts himself into the play and changes the course of mankind. It was God, at his best, fulfilling the unimaginable. Hope.

Hope arrives in the bundle of a tiny man-child. And I, standing on a piano stool, proclaim "a child is born!"

Left v. Right Christianity

2007-12-07T16:22:00.000-06:00

I have always struggled with this concept of "Left versus Right Christianity", where people label their position on christianity as the right one, based upon their political beliefs. Even worse is when people try to label Jesus as "on their side" as well. I saw a bumper sticker that said "Jesus was a Liberal" and another that read "God is a Republican". Good grief. This is the kind of non-sensical thinking that has a us split by denominations and even congregations within denominations.

What makes one think they can put a label on God? I mean, God is what God is. There is no way to define Him this using our political views. The saying "Creating God in our own image" is not exactly what we are to be about. God created us in HIS IMAGE and we are to be about the teaching of the Christ - if we actually want to call ourselves Christians, or followers of Jesus, or whatever phrase makes you happier.

It appears somewhere along the way that we have defined ourselves by our belief systems. I think that some people say they are Christian (followers of Christ) but what they really mean is they profess the words "Jesus is Lord and Savior" but in reality just believe in God. The imagery of God is more "on a throne, judging, huge, distant". This God sets up morale codes and rules and is an jealous God and demands justice. Then there are those who follow Jesus and his teachings as more of a mystic or rabbi and focus on that aspect of their spiritual walk, and are about the work of feeding the poor, fighting social causes, and just loving on people.

And somewhere along the way we have forgotten that the two are the same, yet distinct. You can't discard the commandments of God or ignore the teachings of Jesus because ultimately they are intertwined.

I find bridging this gap, even amongst so called Christians, is sometimes difficult. We seem to get upset and unhinged on the things of this world that have been deemed "important" to us", that we transpose those things upon the Church. As if the church were a reflection of our political statement!

The situation I find myself in is that most of my spiritual friends tend to be liberal in most respects regarding secular activities. And most of my conservative friends are not right wing evangelical types either. What is interesting is that I enjoy the mixture of these two camps AS LONG AS WE DO NOT BRING UP POLITICS. That only segregates and divides. I was reading an excerpt from Brian McLaren's book "A Generous Orthodoxy" where he talks about these two groups and how the small stuff has divided us.

You know, if a Muslim and Jewish leaders can get their folks together to build a habitat house, which they did in my area... why can't we Christians get past the silly rules and doctrines that separate us and dilute our efffectiveness?

I think a liberal or a conservative can both stand side by side and feed a hungry person. Don't you?

DIVORCED!

2007-12-05T14:58:00.001-06:00

"It finally happened.
Couldn't take it anymore.
Something had to give.
DIVORCED AT LAST."

These were the thoughts going through my mind when a car passed me on the way to work this morning. You know how people write "JUST MARRIED" on their back window and stuff all over the rest of the car?

well...

this one had "Just Divorced!" on the back window. I couldn't help it. I started laughing so hard. I pulled up beside the car and a girl is on the cell phone. Written on the side of the windows are "Free at Last" and "Love U Stupid"...

Awe man, what a contrast. Was I wrong for thinking this extremely funny. I had never before witnessed this obvious mockery of the "Just Married" thing on the window. How cool. Good lordy be. There has got to be someone out there that can relate to that girl's sentiment.

some morning make you just go hmmmm....

2007-12-04T20:51:00.000-06:00

It was cold this morning. Really cold for Texas. 26 degrees I think it registered on the window gadget. Brrrrr. My daughter had her first golf tournament ever today, of all days, and it was cooooooollllldddddd I tell you. So we get up early and I fire up the '66 Chevy Classic pickup I drive and we loaded up and headed to the school where I dropped her off to catch the bus.
I started my 14 mile trek to work and decided to stop in McDonald's to pick up some breakfast. I walk up and order my food "to go" and wait. I am watching the workers there. "Why do they work at McD's?" I wonder to myself. There are kids up to adults and I just wonder about their life circumstances. Was it a failed educational system that leaves them only this option in life? Is it a college job? Did a dysfunctional broken home decide their fate? or do they really like serving people in this type of job?
I dunno why I am thinking about this. I just do. Its not a looking down snobby thing. Good grief thats not it at all. I just wonder what crap life has thrown at people and how they got where they are today. I do it all the time. I mean, if you had turned left instead of right. Said no instead of yes and not got married. Picked this major over that one in college. Hadn't gotten knocked up in high school. just stuff.
So i get my food and I'm off. I drive through one of the lower economic areas consisting mainly of hispanics on my way to work - and I see this guy walking on the side of the bridge with a bag in his hand. Its cold. Still really cold. And his breath is coming out in those little steam clouds. And just for an instant - we lock eyes. Me driving my '66 Chevy and he walking along the side of the road in the coldness of the early morning.
and i wonder.
what got him here? why is he walking and not driving? is he homeless? is he doing the best he can to feed a family somewhere? somewhere in the past, did he turn left and not right or pick the wrong career field?
"There but by the grace of God goeth I" crosses my mind. Did God really bless me better than that guy? Some have more because God graced us more? Really struck me as stupid. Mine is more like the Sherly Crow song "Isn't it Ironic" I think.
I don't know. Just my rambling thoughts.

Games We Play III

2007-12-03T15:55:00.000-06:00

For those of you who read posts "games we play" one and two... here is the 3rd in the trilogy. Its the last as well. I got the promotion last week. Seems things went a lot differently since our last meeting. I am worthy. cool. On to bigger and better things with just a hint of more money mixed in to make it a worthwhile endeavor.
I do have to admit that I am not really sure what happens from here. its more responsibility, more headache, or whatever.... but.... i feel pretty okay with that. I mean, what is life except a series of unknown twists, bumps, and sputters mingled with the occasional burst of laughter and silliness that makes it all the more bearable.
In retrospect to where I have been, and most of you can identify with this, it ain't no big thang. It is what it is and what i make of it. or what those above and around me try and make of it.
I never thought God would have led me here to start with, and who knows, maybe he didn't mean too either... stuff happens. Like the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers". i could have been on staff of a fairly large church serving under an egotistical control freak which would have ultimately lead to bad bad things for one of us... soooooooooooooo.... we shall see. ~npp