I'm never sure what to think about LENT

I always want to make a joke about Lent. You know like Lent in my dryer or something. I should probably be more reverent of such an important season of the church, but somehow I just don't FEEL LENTY! I'm not really sure why that is.

Each year I know its coming. It follows the Christmas stuff and takes us to the Easter Tide season. Forty days (not counting Sundays of course because they are already holy enough I guess) of something leading up to Easter. Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, etc.

And each year I hear people say they are going to "give up" this or that. You know like cheeseburgers, cold beer ( I have no idea why anyone would give up this ), sodas, golf, or something important like that. I usually joke that I am going to give up cigarettes for Lent. I don't smoke cigarettes. Not much of a sacrifice huh?

So what is the big deal anyway of giving something up? I think as a child or younger adult I tried on occasion to give up something, only to fail miserably. Sort of like New Year's resolutions - doomed to failure. So does this make me a bad christian? I can't even give something up for forty days for Jesus? I guess it does in some respect. But somehow I think it has something a little deeper in meaning that we aren't grasping by giving up something so irrelevant to our spiritual well-being as a soda.

Matthew 4:1-11 tells of Jesus' time fasting and praying in the wilderness for a period described as 40 days. Yes, the same time period as Lent. Whether it was a physical 40 days or just a biblical way of saying a long time (40 days is used a lot in the bible), it tells of Jesus denying himself food, focusing on God, and not giving in to the temptations presented to him. This is a little larger than a soda huh?

I think that if one was really wanting to give up something for Lent, it should be something meaningful. Something really sacrificial beyond self. For me, that would be time. What would happen if I gave up, say, my Friday mornings to go work on a horse ranch to help disabled/autistic kiddos? My best friend Rick Diamond does this every week. What if I gave up my Thursday evenings to go help at a crisis center? What if I gave up Saturday mornings to help at Habitat for Humanity? What if I gave up something that is meaningful or selfish to me (time) and gave that to someone else?

Lent. My forty days to consider the ways of Christ. The temptations to give into, the things to overcome. My selfishness. I still have a ways to go I believe. ~NPP

cheaters, liars and the rest of the story

I miss Paul Harvey and his radio program "The Rest of the Story" where he talks about something the listener is familiar with but gives you the part of the story you probably didn't realize. And this is what this post is. The rest of the story.

And some of you will not like it.

Its about relationships. More so your responsibility in your relationships. And its the truth, no matter where you wish to take aim and fire the blame bullet.
This came about after years of listening to conversations about "he cheated" or whatever that means in a relationship, and most recently came to light after the separation and divorce of my cousin. This post is truth. It is intended to help you.

Here's the story. Boy meets girl. Boy impresses girl. Girl impresses boy. They date and are on their best behavior. They dress up. They smell good. They pay attention.

They are nice to each other.

They get married.

Now here is where the story splits. One ending is they keep up the above and live happily ever after. The other ending is someone drops the ball and the whole damn thing unravels. Not that anyone intended for that to happen, but just like a pot of water on the stove that is left unattended, it boils over.

I used to work inside the Texas State prison system investigating internal corruption. One of the issues that was prevelant was female officers becoming "involved" with inmates. And it wasn't just physical, it was relational. And almost always those women were married and they had the same story: got married and then the man quit paying them any attention, as he was content to come home, drink beer and get a gut, set in the chair and fondle his remote control. So they get lonely in the relationship. And yes, inmates have nothing else to do all day except give attention and compliments. And a lonely person will respond. Who is at fault here?

Cousin meets firefighter. Cousin gets married. Cousin quits fixing herself up, wears sweatsuits all the time, has a continual cold and dolts on her little dogs. Firefighter is good looking and stays in shape and a good looking girl who pays him special attention finally succeeds. He is labeled a cheater. Who is at fault here?
The answer: Everyone. Yep. You. Me. Her. Him.

Somehow the idea got out that marriage vows were mainly symbolic and really don't mean anything. And what about those vows anyway? Do we just pick one of them too adhere to "Foresaking all others till death do us part"? What about the other ones. The seemingly lesser ones: To have and too hold. In sickness and in health. For better or worse. How about that lovely little chapter in Corinthians where love does not boast or envy or hold grudges.

What makes you think you are so special that once the magical ceremony is complete that you can quit working on your relationship? That you can let your looks fall apart. That you can ignore your spouse's needs. That someone else is responsible for your well being but not the other way around. That you can be cold and distant and aloof and think that temptation will not come knocking on the door of your relationship? And when it does, who will you blame?

They say many a sports game is won because of the passion of the players and not necessarily just the skill. And when I think about this, I think of football games or basketball teams I have watched and rarely do I see them go into a game lukewarm. Are you engaging the other team with passion or are you merely going through the motions?

There is an "inside" man joke about what food substance has been proven to stop sex. Answer: Wedding Cake. Why is this joke so familiar to many men? Because unfortunately there seems to be some truth that women no longer find sex a necessary component of marriage once the deal is done. Now not all women of course, but enough that every man knows this joke. I do not know what the equivalent joke for women is, but i'm sure there is one. Guys, I bet you used to bring her flowers and take her on dates or out to eat or something and you stopped.

In a book entitle "His Needs Her Needs" by Willard Harley, it identifies basic needs that the wife or husband has, and once identified as important, it is encumbent upon the other to provide that. One is Intimacy, Financial Security, etc. and is a great resource. When I counseled with couples prior to marrying them, the only suggestion I had for them was to get this book and read it. Then live it. Some do and some don't.

I'll let you guess which ones have good marriages and which ones do not. And that, my friend, is the rest of the story.