Thursday, June 21, 2007

Big Dick Theory

Okay, this has absolutely nothing to do with those spam emails for male enlargement. I'm smiling enough as it is so no problem.
Many years ago, in my wednesday morning men's group (called the Wards Boys, don't even get me started on why its called that, more like promise keepers gone bad) it seemed that everyone was getting their turn with crap happening to them. Not run of the mill life stuff, but actual BS to deal with - death, divorce, financial issues, moving, etc. We dubbed it "Big Dick Theory", that there was a giant dick just floating around the universe looking for the next person it could "f" up and ruin their day, week, life, etc.
One Wednesday morning one of the guys walks in and announces he has seen the big dick. Seems his office had some duct work issues, so they removed all of the ceiling tiles and were replacing the ventilation ducting. Since they hadn't finished, they left their work "as is", as in a big tubular section of duct hanging down from the ceiling and aiming right at his desk. I think he took a picture.
Many of us have experienced this phenomenon and thought "why me"? Like the little rain cloud that just seems to follow only you. But I know it happens to everyone, different severity maybe, but everyone has their stuff that happens. I used to think that some folks lived charmed lives (and on a comparison scale maybe so), but its all relative to your own place in life.
I have fought back against the demons over the years. Sometimes they win - sometimes not. But I don't look at it as the Big Dick Theory anymore. Its just life. Some lumps are harder than others. I just tend to deal with them differently now.
I'm not sure if my approach will work for the long run, but the Big Dick seems to have Erectile Dysfunction as of late - and that is just fine with me.

4 comments:

gay howard said...

Darn, I thought this was gonna be about Cheney. I think he is the "Big Dick."

nonprofitprophet said...

nothing fire arm related about it... :) ~npp

revrin rick said...

i'm laughin' so hard i think i'm going to pee.

speaking of which,

you sure you don't want to explain where the name "ward's boys" came from?

nonprofitprophet said...

revrin rick. no way do i wish to explain "wards boys" for I fear the big dick hex would be invoked by that secret society and follow me around until my dying day! ;)
~npp