there is a season for everything

I have been a relationship guy my whole life. I never really knew that growing up and only in the past few years have I figured it out. If you have ever met me, even once, and we even slightly got along, then you know me for life. I have made contact with another soul on the planet. Relationships are everything to me. Never been much on status. Never really motivated by money (although in my adult years I am beginning to see the importance of having a litte bit of it). Nope, I have always been about relationships.
Sometimes to my detriment. Even unhealthy. Can't let go. Failed to consider others had hidden agendas. Its a tough lesson we all learn I think.
I have really enjoyed Facebook. Keeping up with others and finding friends from my past. Strange how we seem to get along better now than we did years ago. Matured some maybe. Lots more people talking about God these days.
Priorities. Seasons. Life.
I am now to the age where I can compare things to the way they used to be. I am amazed at what things cost now compared to when I was younger. My kids think nothing of spending whatever amount on a soft drink or combo meal because that is what it has always been to them. They don't remember 10 cent cokes or nickle candy bars or 1 cent double bubble chewing gum.
I am becoming my father. And his father before him. I am seeing things through different lenses. I no longer think I am the center of the universe. I am beginning to see and feel my mortality. I know its just a matter of time before I will no longer exist in this earthly realm. And I don't necessarily think that is something to get down in the dumps about.
I think it is a season I am in. As necessary to spring time is the winter, I think it is necessary we reach the season when we aren't in budding but in full bloom, soaking it all in. Maturing. Reaching the heights we were intended to reach. Spreading our branches so that others may find comfort in our shade. To have enough growth and survived enough weathering that we are stronger when the storms blow, but not so much that we cannot bend and sway abit and dance along with the winds. To develop lasting and meaningful relationships that will sustain us in the years to come.
Facebook is good at helping us keep in touch. It exposes us to other cultures, thoughts, politics, thoughts, humor, life events, and sometimes a little more than we would like to know. I think all of this helps us grow to be more tolerant or at least more accepting.
I cannot imagine life without internet. Facebook. Cell phones. Though I lived half of my life without it. Some of you can remember your first microwave. This season of life is really cool. I am so curious as to what the next will bring.
What an awesome ride. ~npp

cheaters, liars and the rest of the story

I miss Paul Harvey and his radio program "The Rest of the Story" where he talks about something the listener is familiar with but gives you the part of the story you probably didn't realize. And this is what this post is. The rest of the story.

And some of you will not like it.

Its about relationships. More so your responsibility in your relationships. And its the truth, no matter where you wish to take aim and fire the blame bullet.
This came about after years of listening to conversations about "he cheated" or whatever that means in a relationship, and most recently came to light after the separation and divorce of my cousin. This post is truth. It is intended to help you.

Here's the story. Boy meets girl. Boy impresses girl. Girl impresses boy. They date and are on their best behavior. They dress up. They smell good. They pay attention.

They are nice to each other.

They get married.

Now here is where the story splits. One ending is they keep up the above and live happily ever after. The other ending is someone drops the ball and the whole damn thing unravels. Not that anyone intended for that to happen, but just like a pot of water on the stove that is left unattended, it boils over.

I used to work inside the Texas State prison system investigating internal corruption. One of the issues that was prevelant was female officers becoming "involved" with inmates. And it wasn't just physical, it was relational. And almost always those women were married and they had the same story: got married and then the man quit paying them any attention, as he was content to come home, drink beer and get a gut, set in the chair and fondle his remote control. So they get lonely in the relationship. And yes, inmates have nothing else to do all day except give attention and compliments. And a lonely person will respond. Who is at fault here?

Cousin meets firefighter. Cousin gets married. Cousin quits fixing herself up, wears sweatsuits all the time, has a continual cold and dolts on her little dogs. Firefighter is good looking and stays in shape and a good looking girl who pays him special attention finally succeeds. He is labeled a cheater. Who is at fault here?
The answer: Everyone. Yep. You. Me. Her. Him.

Somehow the idea got out that marriage vows were mainly symbolic and really don't mean anything. And what about those vows anyway? Do we just pick one of them too adhere to "Foresaking all others till death do us part"? What about the other ones. The seemingly lesser ones: To have and too hold. In sickness and in health. For better or worse. How about that lovely little chapter in Corinthians where love does not boast or envy or hold grudges.

What makes you think you are so special that once the magical ceremony is complete that you can quit working on your relationship? That you can let your looks fall apart. That you can ignore your spouse's needs. That someone else is responsible for your well being but not the other way around. That you can be cold and distant and aloof and think that temptation will not come knocking on the door of your relationship? And when it does, who will you blame?

They say many a sports game is won because of the passion of the players and not necessarily just the skill. And when I think about this, I think of football games or basketball teams I have watched and rarely do I see them go into a game lukewarm. Are you engaging the other team with passion or are you merely going through the motions?

There is an "inside" man joke about what food substance has been proven to stop sex. Answer: Wedding Cake. Why is this joke so familiar to many men? Because unfortunately there seems to be some truth that women no longer find sex a necessary component of marriage once the deal is done. Now not all women of course, but enough that every man knows this joke. I do not know what the equivalent joke for women is, but i'm sure there is one. Guys, I bet you used to bring her flowers and take her on dates or out to eat or something and you stopped.

In a book entitle "His Needs Her Needs" by Willard Harley, it identifies basic needs that the wife or husband has, and once identified as important, it is encumbent upon the other to provide that. One is Intimacy, Financial Security, etc. and is a great resource. When I counseled with couples prior to marrying them, the only suggestion I had for them was to get this book and read it. Then live it. Some do and some don't.

I'll let you guess which ones have good marriages and which ones do not. And that, my friend, is the rest of the story.