It was only a touch...

It happened innocently enough.
A small touch in a casual manner. A flirtful laugh. The sensation of her fingernails proceeding across the top of his shoulder down to the small of his back as he was walking away. It was the smallest of gestures.
At any other time it would have been meaningless, another incidental contact in a busy self-absorbed world. But not this time. Not for him. With the absence of affection he so deeply desired, dare say needed, this touch was more than that. It was a reminder of the huge void left by by a relationship which took everything for granted and gave nothing in return, of the day-in and day-out less-than-cordial existence he now found himself in.
Memories resurfaced of moments of intimacy they once shared, and he wondered how he got from there to here. The sadness enveloped him like a heavy wool blanket which provided no warmth, no comfort. Only aloneness. Isolation. How badly he wished to pursue that touch. To feel that which once again would warm his heart, touch his soul. As he turned and looked at her playful smile and ocean blue eyes, he knew that it was possible. His mind begin to fill with all the possiblities of emptying his heart, his soul, his entire being into someone who would give the same back. One who would recognize the meaningfulness of a single act, a small gesture, a touch.
He was in agony at the thought. Finding himself here, in a place where he did not want to be. Was this desire so important after all? Don't most people forget to love, to give, to consider others before themselves? Was he, after all, expecting too much? Was this the inevitable place all find themselves after time. He hoped not. He wished not. He knew not.
In quiet despair, he is torn between the love he wants back and the love that is calling too him out of the emptyness of his soul.
There is no guidance.
Prayerfully, tearfully, questioning God why He has brought him to this place. Deafening silence.
A choice must be made. A step must be taken. After all, it was only a touch...

Guilt Free Sundays!!!

I don't know why this came to me. Maybe it is divine inspiration. Maybe its just wishful thinking. Either way, here's the thought: Guilt Free Sundays. Its one sunday every quarter where the church just closes up shop. Encourages families to stay home and rest, relax with one another. Or go out together to the park and play games. Or couples to go to IHOP and have an intimate brunch and get well acquainted again. Or single kids to go home for the weekend and visit mom and dad. Yeah, I know you can do all these things already, but this is CHURCH APPROVED! Hence, no guilt, no strings, or whatever. The church actually telling you to take a day off for your family. The church taking a day off. The Sabbath, Rest - Rest for the pastor and his family as well as you and yours. I doubt this would actually work in the real world, as church on sunday is the only social activity some people get. Or what about the person that shows up needing Jesus and you are closed. Or what about the tithing. Good grief. Okay, maybe it was just wishful thinking after all. Maybe I'll just initiate this in my little rebellious church group and see what the official church thinks of it! Guilt Free Sundays. I can dream can't I? ~npp

burying a dog

I am not a dog lover. Nor am I a dog hater. I am indifferent overall. However, I am a people lover and if people love their dog - then great! But late last evening I got a rare glimpse into the depth of feeling that dog lovers have for their pets. I say pets, it is more like a family member.
I am setting in the nice air conditioning of my home (It was in the 90s with incredibly life draining humidity), watching mindless reruns of something or the other, and my daughter brings me the cell phone saying that Ms. ____ wants to talk to me. Ms._____ is crying. The family dog was run over in the street. The dog they got from an animal shelter 6 months earlier. Her husband is upset. Its their daughter's 10th birthday. This is not a good day for them. They ask if I can come over. I say yes of course.
Its a 15 minute drive to their home and I take my daughter with me as she wants to cheer up her friend. While driving and my 10 year old daughter is chattering about something or the other, I am trying to think what I will do or say in this situation. What do you say to dog lovers who just lost their pet. Its a mind set I don't understand, but I do understand grief. Had my share. So I figure its closely related.
I arrive. Its hot. Sticky. Barely any light as night creeps in. Mosquitos and the buzz of insects and tree frogs fill the air. I am met by a teary eyed man in his 40s who has lost his best friend. I give him a hug and go about the business of helping him bury his dog. He reminisces. I listen. He cries a bit. I put my hand on his back. We have a beer together afterward and just set there.
The deed is done. The grieving process is well under way. Recovery is around the corner. A man remembers a good dog. Life moves on.

Bono Fatigue

I just thought I would share this with you. As you may or may not know, my best friend reverend ricky at "yes yes yes...is the answer" blog loves U2. I think he likes the music but the message and possibly the messenger even better.
I, on the other hand, think that U2 is pretty good and they are actively trying to make the world a little better overall, but thats about it. No idol worship on this end.
but lately i wonder if the mssg of U2 is getting overshadowed by the overabundance of reporting and exposure of U2. Like can't see the forest for all of the trees. just too much of a thing tends to numb the senses.
so I am reading an article in Relevant magazine and I see this reference to www.bonofatigue.com where people who are literally worn out by all the U2 and Bono in the news and radio and mags, that they are going through rehab.
If this is YOU - then consider this a public service announcement from the Non-Profit Prophet. Visit the site, work the program, and let the recovery began.
"Hi, my name is non-profit prophet, and I suffer from bono fatigue."
"Hi NPP".
;) ~npp

Its been a while...

Its been a while since I have taken time to post. It seems that time is such a commodity that it is hard to set any aside for this. I have had a sort of epiphany if you will, or wondering thought as of late.
Have I always been a Christian? Am I one now? I'm not so sure anymore. I think in the everyday usage of the term, the answer is YES of course. But in retrospect, I think maybe not. Let me explain.
I have always believed in God. You know, the Big Man up there with the lightning and the rule book and the "vengeance is mine" thing. I have tried living up to His standards and have done a pretty good job for the most part. I have heard His voice on occassion, have walked with Him (see my post Finding God in Anderson County Tx), and have seen some stuff...
BUT...have I been a Christian? A follower of Christ. The answer may be NO. I am not a Theologian, but there seems to be a difference to me.
I have found that it is easier to Believe In God than it is to Follow The Christ. Have I kept the commandments? mostly. Have I been a good boy and worshipped and participated in HIS church? yes. Have I read my bible and devotionals? Sorta. Do I pray to God? yes. So it appears that I believe in God.
Do I turn the other cheek? Not likely. Do I go without to help the poor? Not really. Do I love my enemies? Probably not. Do I judge others? Yes. Will it be easier for a little one to enter the Kingdom than it will be for me? I reckon so.
so there it is. my own little dilemna. How can it be so easy to Believe in God in the first place and so damn hard to follow the teachings of His Son? Don't they appear to be at odds with one another philosophically speaking? I know its Old Testament v New Testament and Old Covenant v New Covenant and all that jazz that goes along with those apologetics, but hell (if there actually is one) why am I just now thinking about this in my life?
Is it possible to believe in God and not Jesus? Is it plausible that they are one in the same? Am I the only person out here with this strange thought in my head? I have no answers to this other than the ones I know are out there. You got any?
~npp