Its been a while since I have taken time to post. It seems that time is such a commodity that it is hard to set any aside for this. I have had a sort of epiphany if you will, or wondering thought as of late.
Have I always been a Christian? Am I one now? I'm not so sure anymore. I think in the everyday usage of the term, the answer is YES of course. But in retrospect, I think maybe not. Let me explain.
I have always believed in God. You know, the Big Man up there with the lightning and the rule book and the "vengeance is mine" thing. I have tried living up to His standards and have done a pretty good job for the most part. I have heard His voice on occassion, have walked with Him (see my post Finding God in Anderson County Tx), and have seen some stuff...
BUT...have I been a Christian? A follower of Christ. The answer may be NO. I am not a Theologian, but there seems to be a difference to me.
I have found that it is easier to Believe In God than it is to Follow The Christ. Have I kept the commandments? mostly. Have I been a good boy and worshipped and participated in HIS church? yes. Have I read my bible and devotionals? Sorta. Do I pray to God? yes. So it appears that I believe in God.
Do I turn the other cheek? Not likely. Do I go without to help the poor? Not really. Do I love my enemies? Probably not. Do I judge others? Yes. Will it be easier for a little one to enter the Kingdom than it will be for me? I reckon so.
so there it is. my own little dilemna. How can it be so easy to Believe in God in the first place and so damn hard to follow the teachings of His Son? Don't they appear to be at odds with one another philosophically speaking? I know its Old Testament v New Testament and Old Covenant v New Covenant and all that jazz that goes along with those apologetics, but hell (if there actually is one) why am I just now thinking about this in my life?
Is it possible to believe in God and not Jesus? Is it plausible that they are one in the same? Am I the only person out here with this strange thought in my head? I have no answers to this other than the ones I know are out there. You got any?