Monday, August 27, 2007

It was only a touch...

It happened innocently enough.
A small touch in a casual manner. A flirtful laugh. The sensation of her fingernails proceeding across the top of his shoulder down to the small of his back as he was walking away. It was the smallest of gestures.
At any other time it would have been meaningless, another incidental contact in a busy self-absorbed world. But not this time. Not for him. With the absence of affection he so deeply desired, dare say needed, this touch was more than that. It was a reminder of the huge void left by by a relationship which took everything for granted and gave nothing in return, of the day-in and day-out less-than-cordial existence he now found himself in.
Memories resurfaced of moments of intimacy they once shared, and he wondered how he got from there to here. The sadness enveloped him like a heavy wool blanket which provided no warmth, no comfort. Only aloneness. Isolation. How badly he wished to pursue that touch. To feel that which once again would warm his heart, touch his soul. As he turned and looked at her playful smile and ocean blue eyes, he knew that it was possible. His mind begin to fill with all the possiblities of emptying his heart, his soul, his entire being into someone who would give the same back. One who would recognize the meaningfulness of a single act, a small gesture, a touch.
He was in agony at the thought. Finding himself here, in a place where he did not want to be. Was this desire so important after all? Don't most people forget to love, to give, to consider others before themselves? Was he, after all, expecting too much? Was this the inevitable place all find themselves after time. He hoped not. He wished not. He knew not.
In quiet despair, he is torn between the love he wants back and the love that is calling too him out of the emptyness of his soul.
There is no guidance.
Prayerfully, tearfully, questioning God why He has brought him to this place. Deafening silence.
A choice must be made. A step must be taken. After all, it was only a touch...

2 comments:

Meris said...

Wow... I am there now... and have been there before. This post seemed to soak right into my soul....

nonprofitprophet said...

meris - unfortunately it appears as if this scenario is not as isolated as one would wish. Sad. ~npp