Thursday, October 18, 2007

games we play II

I failed to mention in the last post that it is unfair to play mindgames with unarmed people. Just a disclaimer.
Games. They suck. Especially when it matters. Like with family. Church. Friendship.
Many of us have had these games played on us. Or maybe its played with us. Like chess pieces. Some are important, some expendable.
And it is really difficult to be real with people because they are so insecure. Think about it, most people are comfortable with some sort of defense mechanism whether it be socio-economic, intelligence, status, possessions - anything that defines them as superior, different or at least distant from the rest. Its protective.
Have you ever had anyone be real with you? does it freak you out? is it uncomfortable because they might get to know you. Relationships become real and meaningful and are therefore valuable and take more time and effort. Do you prefer Roberts Rules of Order over open and honest dialogue. Being real means being honest, stripping titles and pretense and addressing issues.
Its difficult for most to separate their title from their humanity. You see it in war where you become callous. It happens in law enforcement. It happens in marriages.
So you have to play the games. Follow some preset rules. Try to figure out your partner. Your place in life. No, your place in THEIR life.
Being real, honest and truthful is threatening. It places people above all else. It provides no excuses for our behavior. No escape route. It makes YOU responsible to one another. It is what Jesus would want.


MizAngie said...

I recently met a family during, perhaps, the worst of all tragedies - the death of one of their children. If I had met these people under other circumstances we probably would have shared a "Hi, how are you?" and gone on our separate ways. Meeting them at their most vulnerable and most sad made all of us forego the polite games. They were open to the love and comfort I offered in a weak attempt to ease their suffering (As if!), and I so much wanted to be able to comfort them even a little. I plan to be friends with them from now on. Without the love of God I'm not sure if either of us would have known how to open up to the other.

nonprofitprophet said...

your just being there eased their pain more than you know. it is such a little thing, but it is HUGELY needed! A tragedy seems to place things in their proper perspective, makes you remember what is important.