Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Jesus loves me this I know...

Just what in the hell don't people understand about this preschool theology anyway? I am so irritated right now I could drink lite beer!

I allowed my daughter to attend a "function" sponsored by a coalition of Baptist churches in the area (mainly because her friends were going)and she just came home a few minutes ago. We had the typical parent/teenager conversation. Me - "how was it?". Her - "fine". So I had to ask, and I wish I hadn't. I ask "Say any prayers of salvation?" and she looks at me funny and asks what that is. I say its the little prayer where you accept Jesus into your heart...blah blah blah. She said "yes", like she was surprised I knew about this. I then ask "did you have to go down to the front" and she responds "we all did".
I am getting irritated at this point. I am irritated because I know all the play calls in this game. Right out of the Baptist handbook on how to save people in three easy lessons. She, of course, doesn't understand why I am asking and goes into teenage defense mode. I back off. But before I leave I ask her if the speaker said anything close to "do you know where you are going if you were to die tonight or get struck by lightening when you leave here..." and she looked at me like I was a reading her mind. She said sorta. She said he said something like that and then talked about his "friend" in college who just happened to accept Jesus one night at such a function and then got killed in a car accident coming home from it.
Coincidental! I think not.
The children's verse goes like this: Jesus loves me this I know... I love my children and they love me back. I don't scare them into it, its all relational and unconditional. I ain't gonna love them more or less if they fail to say the right thing to me.
And neither is God. God loves you regardless. Get over it. And if you were brought up with this fear factor theology approach to salvation, please get some help.
PS - you can't save anyone by the way. Jesus did that over 2000 years ago on a cross. If you can top that - good luck. ~npp


KJ said...

Oh my God. Dude, I don't know if I should laugh or cry. You're writing just makes me laugh. But this deal is all too close to home for me. I, too, know the Baptist play book all to well. I memorized all the Roman Road, 4 Spiritual Laws shit...thank God...I may have forgotten it all by now. I walked on a beach IN A DRESS preaching Jesus to people. Well, that's what I supposed to be doing. I'm not sure I ever caught up with whoever was running from me long enough to talk to them.

It's amazing to me that this theology still exists. And I REALLY don't what attracts teenagers to it. Ugh...sorry man. When my father died in '04 we had long conversations about what he wanted his service to be like. We all agreed that this was a day to remember his life; not try to preach heaven to all who were there. The preacher actually got upset with me because I said that preaching a sermon about salvation was not what we wanted. Upset!! He pouted all day because he wasn't going to emotionally manipulate people into "knowing they would go to heaven just like Billy." Wow.

Anyway...I ramble. Thanks for sharing. And please don't go drinking lite beer.

MizAngie said...

AMEN, Brother!! My brother began attending an Assembly of God church when his kids were small because they had the best programs for kids in their small town where opportunities were limited. My oldest niece went to church camp when she was 12-13 and they were teaching kids how to speak in tongues. She made the argument that that wasn't something you learned, that God just led you to do that at a given time. (She actually listened in Sunday school.) They were furious with her and berated her in front of the other kids. She asked to call her parents and they allowed it because they thought my brother would tell her to submit. He and my sister-in-law made the two hour drive to pick her up and bring her home, and had several words for trying to FORCE their child into any kind of relationship with God that did not come naturally and with love. Religion is such a blessing but can be such a weapon.

nonprofitprophet said...

KJ - Yeah and ditto on the funeral thing. good grief. Its about celebrating a life. I absolutely hate it when they start preaching salvation at a funeral. Good for you for sticking with your fathers request. And thanks for the affirmation, I will not drink lite beer! lol

Mizangie - your example just proves the point that people immulate (sp?) what they see. Its almost cultural. Baptist can't pray without saying "lord" about 3 times per sentence, Methodist can't clap or laugh outloud in the sanctuary. You can't be Assembly of God unless you speak in tongues, only the King James version is the right one... blah blah blah. Good for those parents to pick that kid up before the brains became scrambled eggs. ~npp

Tia Lynn said...

haha. I laughed so hard at the lite beer threat! So, you belong to a baptist denomination? Don't they believe that Jesus turned water to grape juice? ;)

Do you like Tony Campolo? He's baptist, but engages people from all denominations of Christianity. He's my favorite.

nonprofitprophet said...

Actually no. I am in the heart of the Southern Baptist area so I am surrounded by them. Actually most of my immediate friends are from various walks - Baptist, United Methodist, Catholic, etc. My heritage is United Methodist but I'm not 100% sold on thier "activities" either. Yes. I know of Tony Campolo...he is oft quoted and I have read excerpts of his and it seems engaging. I get bored easily so I read various authors. Latest favorites being Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and Michael Yacconneli's "Messy Spirituality".
Yes.Jesus turned water into Welch's Grape Juice and He actually spoke the King James English and the words came out of his mouth read and he never had to use the bathroom and .... ;)

nonprofitprophet said...

I meant "Red" words... spelling. And I prefer dark beer such as Amber Bock or Shiner Bock or a really good Ale like Coopers or Samuel Adams. ~npp

revrin rick said...

"God loves you regardless. Get over it. And if you were brought up with this fear factor theology approach to salvation, please get some help."

you're giving them help, brother. keep preachin', prophet.

don't stop now. you've got a tiger by the tail, but jesus has your back. and he's a powerful hellfighter.